Grump - 10. Chapter 10: Thru New Eyes

Chapter Ten: Thru New Eyes

Happy. Sam was happy. He shouldn’t be. He wasn’t sure what ‘happy’ was really. He was tempted to hoard it. Take it out now and then and… roll in it. Something horrible had happened to him. The last week had been intense. He had seen things: new things, unbelievable, incredible things. A new world just opened up and swallowed him. And like the old joke, Sam was frighten that maybe the new world would shit him out. But Sam was… smiling. Terror, then love. Pain, then pleasure. Lost, then hope. Abandoned, then friendship. Ridicule, then praise. Weeping, then laughter. Sneers, then smiles. Starving, wanting and needing a touch, then Peter… then Sally and Tom and Jeff. Always before the bad would come and Sam had learned to hide and lick his wounds. He would take his own back his own way. Quiet and secret revenge on all, let them pay a little too. Now Sam’s head was full, full of strange wonderful things. No, not just his head his whole body was full. “So, I’m supposed to be a dragon, a prince at that and pretty…. She actually said handsome, but I feel sort of more.” A young grace, Zog had called me. I feel at home. Before only grandmother felt like home. There is no trying to fit, I just belong. But I am here now, the school is just up ahead. Time to begin my walk. Time to be unnoticed. There is just the door. Make the door and all is well. Yes, I feel the memory, it powers my need, focuses my concentration.

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Alive. So alive, I could jump and shout. I want to run. Run thru the streets until I fly into the air. Fly in the air until I find a cloud. Plop myself down on that cloud and just grin at the world. “Peter!” Sally calls. She is running. She is running with all her heart, all her spirit; a girl full of joy, beauty, laughter and trust. And she jumps; like a tennis ball shot from one of those machines. She’s in the air, her arms reaching for all the goods things, all that is out there, all the worlds, all the possibilities. And she finds them all in the hands of Peter as he catches her and lifts her further into her flight toward the sun.

A group of girls near by squeal themselves silly and some guy whistles, and then there is pandemonium. Peter bounces Sally into the air again and then catches her in the cradle of his arms when she drops like a baby. Sally squeals herself at this and throws her arms around Peter. Her cries and laughter are like angelsong. It is no surprise to either of them when Peter kisses her like the hero in an epic. “Morning love.” Sally coos.

“Should I carry you around like this all day or put you down, little canary?” Peter nuzzles Sally’s nose. “Put me down, my kitten, I can’t trust you not to eat me.” Sally licked Peter’s chin. “Besides, I see Jeff coming and we will want to say hi.”

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I’m so at ease with myself. Is this peace of mind. Each moment is complete but nevertheless boundless as it flows by. I can feel them pass and yet I’m a stillness in the waters. It’s like a distance, a perspective different from and independent from my existence. Today is a day to be enjoyed. Today is a gift to me and everyone. I could be trash dancing in a playful breeze. I could be a splash of water in a pond. It speaks to me. It whispers to me. Find comfort in your day. It has purpose and meaning. It’s not hard to find. Look.

“Hey guys, don’t either of you jump on me. I won’t catch you, but I would like to hold you a moment.”

Peter and then Sally hugged Jeff whispering secrets only the most intimate of partners share. “I see Tom coming . I think we should prepare ourselves for an all out attack.” Peter winked.

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I feel great. King of the hill. King of the world. Is this confidence or I’m I just cocky from all the great nookie yesterday. So many adventures in the last few days. And I wasn’t afraid. I mean some of it was really scary, but I stood up to it all. I faced it. When the challenge came I was there for me and for my…beloveds. I feel just wonderful and I love Peter and Sally and Jeff and Grump. We are going to spend the rest of our lives loving each other. Where is this assurance coming from? I know I can do it, whatever it is. I can be whatever I need to be. I can just explode with it, faith. I believe. I believe in us all.

“Peter! Sally! Jeff! Come here!” Tom grabbed his friends one by one and squeezed. “Where is Grump? Where is our dragon? How can we say good morning without Sam?” Tom had one massive arm around Peter and the other around Sally and Jeff. His hands were stroking their shoulders. A mother hen and her chicks. A shepherd with his flock, they were his to love and guard and protect.

“We haven’t seen Sam yet, Tom, and he doesn’t like to be called Grump; don’t tease him with it.” Peter knew Tom wasn’t being insensitive, he was calling Sam, Grump, with love; but still, Sam didn’t like it.

“He used to like it Peter, he loved it until the end of seventh grade. It was a great nickname. His grandmother would greet him every morning with it. ‘How’s my little grump this morning?’ Sam would grunt and groan and sigh until after breakfast. He is not a morning person. His best friend, Tim from the first grade, used to sleep over and he thought this morning ritual was hilarious, he even greeted Sam with it when he stay over at Tim’s. Tim even started greeting Sam with it at school. Soon everyone was saying: ‘Good morning Grump’. Don’t you know any of this. Haven’t you heard the stories? They get retold every year to the freshman class. There is a whole series of them. Sam is an Urban Legend. No joke.”

“Tom, what happened then, why does everyone say those things about him. Why does he well hate everyone? How do you know all this?”

“We went to the same middle school of course, that’s how. What actually happened wasn’t so bad. It just got blown out of all proportion and the teasing turned mean. The name calling and the shunning began then."

"Sam had stayed over at Tim’s. Tim woke up to find Sam humping his leg in his sleep and Sam came; you know a wet dream, his first. Tim thought is was funny, he wasn’t mad or upset. I bet he was turned on by it. Anyway the next day at school Tim greeted Sam with: ’Here comes Grump the Humper.’ And to Sam’s embarrassment Tim told their buddies about the humping wet dream. At first the teasing was funny. But I think the boys sensed then that Sam was gay because it turned mean. Even Tim dropped Sam. The rest of seventh grade and eight grade had to be very hard for Sam. Outed at thirteen."

"Sam stood up to all of it and even started to take back some of his own. Then you know what happened to Sam on the first day of high school. That was bad. But you know no one messes with Sam these days. They talk behind his back, but not to his face or where he can hear. People have learned, mess with Sam and payback is a bitch. Something always happens to anyone who gives him shit. And it is always very funny to everyone but the victim of Sam’s revenge."

"I can’t believe I love the little fucker so much now. Last week he was a pain in the butt. Where is he anyway? He’s going to be late.”

Peter closed his eyes and smiled. “Sam’s doing his thing; his special walk or dance. Watch this.” Peter cut across the lawn and reached out. Sam spun around and caught Peter’s hand before Peter could grab his shoulder. “You can trick me once Peter, but not twice with the same trick.”

“The guys want to say hello before first bell Sam. Come on.” Sam’s heart jerked. That was almost exactly what Mike had said that first day. The memory that haunted his every day. Sam looked at Peter though and said :“Okay.”