Connor and the Wolves - 41. Tangled Love

He had a job. Soren couldn’t believe it. He’d fucked up, he’d lied to the entire Chono family, and Catherine gave him a job.
Sure, it basically amounted to him mucking the stalls in the morning before work and making sure their horses were stalled properly at night. But he’d be making five coppers a day for it, plus a hot meal every evening.
It was more than he deserved. Soren didn’t know how to react to this — a mere thank you would never be enough to show his gratitude.
So he sat in the waiting room, guarding Kurt’s viola, and frantically trying to come up with some way to feel like he actually deserved this blessing. Maybe that was the point; to kill him with his own remorse. But he didn’t think Catherine could do that — she didn’t have a mean bone in her body.
“You’re family, Soren. I’ll always be there for you.”
He blinked tears away. Years of solitude ended just like that. With a hug and a stern lecture to never lie again. No, he didn’t deserve the Chonos’ forgiveness at all.
His phone rang. Heads turned toward him as the Quarias theme broke the relative silence of the waiting room. Soren grabbed his phone, frowning at Connor’s picture. He was the only issue Soren still had. The mage couldn’t break up with him, though he knew he had to.
Sighing, he answered the call, ignoring a couple of kids heading his way.
“Hey.”
“Hey Soren. I’m sorry I couldn’t come over today,” Connor said. “Dad won’t let me leave the house tonight.”
“It’s okay,” Soren replied. “I’m at the hospital anyway.”
“What?! What happened?!”
“Kurt sprained her wrist on a baton. I’m not sure how she’s doing, but she was limping when the doctor took her back.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. Can she still run?”
“I don’t know. If it’s a stretch, it should go away if she shifts; the muscles and tendons tend to stretch when changing anyway. If it’s worse, she’s probably looking at about six weeks in a splint.”
“Fuck….” Connor was silent for a moment. “You… uh, you really know your stuff.”
“Is that Quarias?” One of the kids demanded over Connor.
Soren held up a hand, trying to listen to Connor.
“I guess.” He shrugged. “I’ve been trying to become a vet, so I need to know things.”
“I guess I won’t be seeing Khurtschono at Varyal’s meet then. Unless she comes to cheer us on.”
“Um…” Soren cringed. How was he supposed to tell Connor he wasn’t on the team either? “Yeah, uh, I quit.”
“The team?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Okay. You were pretty good though.” Connor paused for a moment. “This isn’t because of me, right? I know you said you got in trouble for-”
“No, this… I just… I spend too much time as a wolf anyway, and it’s kind of… it isn’t really fun to run in my wolf form, especially when it’s for a competition. It takes all the relaxation out of it.”
“Okay, yeah. I can see that.”
“You’re not mad, are you?” Soren asked.
“Nah. A little disappointed, but as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. You’ll still come out to cheer me on, right? I… um, you can borrow my bus pass if you need to.”
“Oh, that’s another thing; Kurt’s mother offered me a job helping with their horses.”
“Oh, congratulations!”
“Yeah, so I can get there on my own,” Soren added.
“But you will be there? I mean, I understand if you have to do stuff around the cabin.”
“I’ll be there.” So would Kurt. Probably. She wasn’t one to let something like a sprained wrist stop her. “I have to go, though. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He could hear Connor’s smile, and it broke his heart. How much longer could he go on like this? “I’ll try to see if Dad will let me come over tomorrow. If not, maybe you can come over to my mom’s place after the meet on Varyal. I think she’s working.”
“I’ll do that.” Soren smiled wanly, trying to assuage his guilt. “I really have to go though.”
“Let me know how Khurtschono is doing.”
“I will. Bye.”
He ended the call, and let out a slow breath. The kids were still staring at him, and Soren shrugged. Maybe they were onto something. An episode of Quarias might help him relax a bit.

The back door opened, letting Kurt and her mother free from the hospital’s confines. Soren looked up from where he was watching cartoons surrounded by a group of kids waiting to be seen. He met Kurt’s eye, and looked away quickly. Her arm was in a sling. That couldn’t be a good sign.
“Well?” Kurt growled as Catherine picked up her viola. “Are you coming?”
“Yeah.” Soren shut off his phone to a chorus of complaints. “Sorry everyone, it’s time for me to go home.”
He stood up, stretching briefly before following the nekos toward the exit.
“How are you doing?”
“It’s sprained,” Kurt confirmed with a grumble.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s my own stupid fault. Why did I even get into that shit-”
“Khurtschono, watch your language,” Catherine scolded. “You’re not clairvoyant. No one could have seen this happening. And wallowing in your misery is not going to help anything.”
She opened the car door, and Kurt and Soren got in the back. Soren helped the neko with her belt, ignoring the daggers she was shooting at him.
“You know why you joined,” he said quietly as Catherine set Kurt’s viola in the trunk. “And no one can blame you for that. I’d do the same for Connor.”
Kurt snorted.
“Right, your mate who isn’t even your mate. I guess you’ll be breaking that off, then. No need to protect me from him now,” she spat.
“I….” Soren frowned.
“No. You’re telling him.”
“I will,” Soren said quickly. “I just… I think… I think I actually love him.”
Kurt rolled her eyes.
“Sure, because you totally love the person you forced into a fake relationship. That’s true love right there.”
“Khurtsaa, even fake love can become real,” Catherine said, looking at them in the mirror. “It does nothing to absolve Soren from his actions, but history is full of people thrust together to satisfy politics or their parents, who grow to love each other over time.” She cast a scathing glance at Soren. “Granted, most of them take longer than a week to get to that level, even in actual mated relationships. It took your father and I a good two years to actually be comfortable in the same room. Now, we hate being apart.”
“You two were mates,” Kurt pointed out. “Soren and Connor aren’t. Even if Soren became a werewolf, there’d be no mate claim between them; Altanchono felt nothing from Connor.”
“That doesn’t negate my point,” Catherine said patiently. “Yes, Soren needs to come clean to Connor. If he loves Connor, that love really needs to come from a place of honesty. And the longer he takes, the worse the backlash will be.”
Soren stared at his lap. He needed to tell Connor the truth. But how? How could he do that knowing Connor would want nothing to do with him after?
What if he became a werewolf? Connor would never have to know, and they could still be together.
Even as he thought it, Soren knew that was wrong. He’d already lied enough. He didn’t need to add to that.
“I’ll tell him,” he said. “I’m going to his house after Varyal’s meet.”
“You’re still going to the meet?” Kurt demanded.
“Yes? I want to be there for him.” Soren frowned. “I don’t want to lose him.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before starting all this horse-”
“Khurtschono, that’s enough.”
The neko grunted, staring out the window. Soren followed her example, watching the city pass them by. Catherine was right. Wallowing in self pity wasn’t going to help. He would talk to Connor on Varyal. There would be plenty of time to worry then. For now, he should be celebrating the fact that he had an actual job for the first time in his life. A paying job, no matter how much he tried to tell Catherine that she didn’t have to pay him. He was just helping a friend. But apparently if she didn’t pay him, she could get in trouble. So he’d be getting the money, end of story.
Connor seemed happy for him, despite him quitting the track team. But how long would that happiness last?
He sighed. There was no keeping those thoughts from his mind. Soren just let the fear wash over him, twisting his stomach into knots. There was nothing he could do.

Who knew water troughs were so heavy?
Soren heaved at another giant bucket, tipping it over so the water flowed under the stall mats and into the fields behind the barn. He scrubbed the latest bucket out, making sure there was no sign of the algae that seemed to thrive in the horses’ water.
John’s arms must be bulging with muscle if he did this every night. Not that Soren ever really paid attention to the other calico Chono. The neko’s arm was still recovering from the snake bite, and Soren gladly took up his evening chores. The mage would get dinner out of it, a dinner he didn’t have to hunt and cook himself. Besides, John was watching… sort of. He had his nose in yet another book, but at least he was nearby if anything went wrong.
Getting the horses into their stalls after freshening their water was a bit of a challenge. They were used to being herded by a wolf, and Soren couldn’t shift — he certainly didn’t want to have Kurt come after him.
Finally, he just set some oats in their stalls, luring the horses toward the barn with the offering of food. Trying to sort them into the right stalls was rough; they all seemed determined to crowd into the first stall to get at the oats. It took some tugging at their manes to get each horse to the stall he remembered seeing them in every time he helped Kurt muck the stalls in the morning.
By the time he was done, Soren was filthy. Horse hair covered his shirt, manure darkened his pants, and his boots were soaked. Worse, he smelled like a horse. How anyone could think that smelled hot was beyond him; it felt like the stench was trying to murder his nose. All he wanted to do was go home and shower for a good hour or two.
“Oh, you’re done?” John glanced down the line of stalls. “Uh… good job.”
“Thanks.” Soren glanced toward the house. “I’m going to wash off at my place,” he said. “Don’t want to get your house dirty.”
“‘Kay. Make sure you come back though; Khurtschono and Ma will hunt you down if you don’t.”
“Don’t worry. I know better than to try to run.”