Connor and the Wolves - 51. Neko Juice

Food always helped when he was sad.
So Soren scurried through the kitchen, trying frantically to come up with something that he wouldn’t have to gut. He still had some deer in his freezer; maybe he could try another flatbread pie?
“Soren.”
How much deer did he have left? Fuck… how was he supposed to hunt for more?
“Soren.”
He couldn’t shift. He had no idea how to hunt as a human. Was he supposed to just throw rocks-
“SOREN!”
Soren spun. Connor sat at the kitchen table, shaking his head.
“Dude, settle down. You’re making me anxious,” Connor said.
“Sorry,” Soren muttered.
“I appreciate it. Really. But there’s no way I could eat right now,” Connor added, resting his head against the table. “I just… I’m exhausted.”
That he could fix. Soren hurried from the room, grabbing his blanket. He ran back and wrapped the blanket around Connor’s shoulders.
“Hey.” A hand clasped Soren’s before he could release the blanket. “Could we have fish for dinner? I’m… I’m sorry to ask-”
“Don’t be sorry,” Soren said. “I need to clear out the weir anyway.” Why did he get the feeling Connor was trying to get rid of him? He flashed a small smile at Connor. “Uh… just… don’t go anywhere, okay?”
“Of course not,” Connor promised.
Soren hesitated, but stepped out of the house, leaving Connor on his own. He hurried down to the weir, where several fish were already waiting to be caught. It wouldn’t take long to clean them, but every moment he spent away from Connor only made Soren worry more.
Removing his shirt, Soren’s hand brushed something hard. He pulled out a small vial — Kurt’s vial. The mage glanced back toward the house. He was alone with Connor now. Surely he could take whatever this was now. The sooner he was an actual werewolf, the sooner he’d be able to turn Connor. If Connor still wanted to be turned.
Removing the cork with a quiet pop, Soren downed the contents of the vial. Cold slime ran down his throat. A moment later, a sugary sweetness struck him. Soren screwed his eyes shut, trying to figure the flavour out. What the fuck had Kurt given him?
“Oh.” Lycanthropy was an STD. “Oh shit.” Did he just swallow Kurt’s cum?!
Shaking his head in disgust, Soren shoved the vial back into his shirt pocket. He stripped, determined to completely ignore what he’d just done. Catching a pair of fish took a matter of moments, and he had them cleaned and gutted in minutes.
As he collected the fish, Soren noticed a problem. He dressed quickly, shoving his erection away — the last thing he wanted was for Connor to see that. Now was the worst possible time for him to get horny. And why was the world swaying around him?
Shrugging off the sudden weirdness, he carried the fish inside. Setting them on the kitchen counter, Soren cast his gaze around for Connor.
No luck. Connor wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. Soren’s heart sank.
“Connor? Connor, are you here?” Soren rushed through the house, throwing open doors with a little less care than he usually would. “Connor?”
He opened his bedroom to find Connor curled up in his shredded bedding. The man snored, snorted, rolled over.
“Soren?”
“Hey. Just… just making sure you’re okay,” Soren said, leaning against the doorframe.
“M’okay,” Connor yawned. “You’re wobbling. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Soren said quickly.
Connor’s eyes widened suddenly as his gaze dropped.
“Soren. What did you do?” he demanded.
“Kurt gave me some… uh… stuff to turn me into a werewolf,” Soren said.
“And you drank it?! Shit- okay, I’m… uh, I’m going to step out of the room so you can… take care of yourself,” Connor said, scrambling to his feet.
He passed Soren, careful not to touch him. Soren stared wide eyed — what did Connor mean take care of himself? Soren was fine! He just needed to get the fish cooking. And get these blasted clothes off — their soft brushing across his skin was agonising.
“You… you don’t know what that stuff does, do you?” Connor hesitated in the doorway. “Soren, it’s a drug. It makes you want sex constantly. The more you take, the more you crave it until it takes over your life. Why did you take it?”
Soren shook his head frantically.
“I didn’t know any of that!” he insisted, ripping his shirt off. “Kurt didn’t tell me what it was. She just said it would turn me.”
“I’m getting out of here,” Connor muttered. “Come find me when you’ve come off the high.”
He closed the door with a soft click, leaving Soren alone.

A glass of water sat outside his door when Soren finally felt brave enough to open it. The sizzle of fish cooking filled the air, and a deep breath told the tale of… well, fish.
Collecting the cup, Soren gulped it down. He headed out to the kitchen to refill, casting a nervous side eye at Connor.
“You didn’t have to cook.”
“I know. But you need to eat something,” Connor said. “Even if it’s going to be bland as fuck. I can’t figure out where your spices are.”
“I don’t have any.”
“Ah.”
Setting a plate on the table, Connor approached Soren. A tense moment built…
…then deflated as Connor wrapped his arms around the mage.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I just… We’re going to a meeting after we eat.”
“A meeting?”
“Neko Lovers Anonymous,” Connor nodded. “I know a few in the city; there’s one near my dad’s place. I know this is your first time with… with neko juice. It needs to be your last, or I can’t stay with you.”
Soren blinked. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again.
“Is it really that bad?” he asked, his voice tiny. “I didn’t enjoy any of it. It tasted weird and I felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin.”
“It’s bad,” Connor said firmly. “We’re doing this. And Soren… if you don’t turn next month, we’re going to a clinic next time. We… we should have done that first… but my parents….” He sighed, shaking his head. “We should have done that first.”
“Hindsight sucks.” Soren grabbed Connor’s plate and carried it back to the counter. A few herbs helped flavour it a bit better, and he returned the food to Connor. “If I do turn… are… do you… want me to turn you?” he asked.
“Yes.” The answer came almost before he was done asking. “Mom was right. I’m not backing down just because I failed once. And if I can…” Connor cleared his throat. His face burned bright red. “If I can take Silas’ knot… I can take you too… if you want. I mean, you said you weren’t really… sexual, right?”
Soren shrugged helplessly.
“I don’t really enjoy… um… touching myself,” he stammered. “And that time we… did stuff… it felt weird. But I’ll do it for you if I do turn. We’ll make sure you become a werewolf.”
Connor smiled wanly.
“Why don’t we stick to the clinic? And… I think I’ll go later. After track season is over, at least. I wouldn’t want to let Brienne down,” he added with a nervous laugh.
Soren echoed his smile.
“You’re okay with… not… with not having sex?”
“Well… You said you’re okay with me seeing people, right?” Soren nodded slowly. “So if I want to have sex, I could go to them, then come back to you for cuddles. I feel like that isn’t exactly fair to you-”
“No, I like it,” Soren said quickly. A larger smile warmed his lips at the thought. “You… you still want to be with me. Even after all of this.”
“Of course I do. As long as we get to that meeting.”
“Then I guess we better eat fast.”

The bus ride to the city was made in a more companionable silence than the morning’s ride had been. Soren was frankly a little concerned by how well Connor seemed to be handling everything. It was like he was on a mission to get Soren to… whatever this meeting was.
He didn’t need a meeting. Soren didn’t plan to ever swallow neko cum again — just the very idea felt icky. But if it made Connor happy, he’d go to this place, talk to a few people, make sure Connor knew he was serious about not doing it again.
The bus hissed to a stop. Connor hopped off, holding Soren’s hand as though afraid the mage would run off.
“They usually hold meetings in Zasar’s temple,” he said, pointing to the single story brick building. “Something about being the god of life and death. It makes little sense; the meetings themselves are secular. But I guess they have to be held somewhere.”
Soren looked at the ancient structure. It was in good repair — it had to be for it to be in use — but it showed its age clearly as well. Missing bricks, worn corners, plants growing in cracks; if Soren didn’t know any better, he’d think the place was abandoned.
Yet he could hear quiet applause inside as Connor dragged him closer. They pushed quietly through dilapidated doors, entering a narrow vestibule lit by electric candles. Another doorway stood beyond, with a uniformed elf standing guard before it.
“Names?”
“Thought these meetings were anonymous, Dan,” Connor said, stepping in front of Soren.
“Connor Evans. Should have known you’d be here after last night.” The elf sighed, stepping in front of the door. “Look, I know you’re here for your father. Even if he is here for a meeting, this is for addicts only.”
“I’m not an addict,” Soren said, looking down at Connor. “If it’s for addicts, why did you bring me here?”
“Because I’m worried, okay?” Connor snapped suddenly. “I’ve seen what this shit does to people, and I know that even just one vial can destroy your entire life. I don’t know how much you took-”
“Wait, your… mate… took neko juice? You are aware that distributing neko juice is illegal, right?” Dan demanded.
Soren shook his head.
“No sir, I didn’t know that. I didn’t even know what it was until a friend gave it to me. They’re a neko themself. An… eingar? I think it was their… their own.” He swallowed tightly, grimacing at the memory of the sugary mucus running down his throat. “I took it for… I mean, they told me it would turn me.”
“I know the neko he’s talking about, and I can assure you there were no crimes being committed,” Connor added. “I freaked out when I realised what he’d done. Maybe we shouldn’t have come here, but I didn’t know what else to do about it.”
“How long ago did you take the juice?” Dan asked.
A sudden light flashed in Soren’s eyes, and the mage flinched. “Um… three… maybe four hours ago?”
“He’s clean Dan. Trust me, I know. I just wanted him to sit in on a meeting.”
Sighing, the elf stepped aside.
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” he admitted. “But you’re staying out here. And we’re keeping an eye on you.”
“Standard procedure,” Connor said quickly to assuage Soren’s worries. “Trust me, this shit can get everywhere, and these meetings… well, sometimes distributors use them to pick out targets.”
Soren stared at the doors.
“Do I really have to go alone?”
“Yes,” Dan and Connor said.
Sighing, the mage slipped reluctantly through the doors, and into a large room beyond.
Dark oak pews sat half full along a narrow aisle. An altar stood barren at the front of the room. In a stained glass window, a raven flew, carrying a large glowing seed through a burnt land. Soren wasn’t sure what the symbolism was there, but he could guess.
An elf stood at a pulpit, hands shaking, body trembling. She locked eyes with Soren, but he looked away quickly, taking a seat on an empty bench near the back.
“Thank you, Jenna,” a man said, and the room clapped quietly as the elf stepped down with a relieved breath. The trembling stopped the second she sat down.
Another elf approached Soren as someone else took the stand. She held out a hand with a welcoming smile.
“Hi there. Is this your first time?” Soren nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “I’m Laura. And I’m glad you’ve taken the first step on recovery.”
“I’m not… an addict,” Soren breathed. “Just… A friend wanted me to come.”
“Of course,” Laura said. “But you did come. And that is the most important thing. Please, if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask.”
Nodding, Soren turned his attention back to the current speaker — River.
“-since I last used. In that time, my life has gone to the graveyard. I’ve lost my mentor. I’ve lost my son. I have been moments away from using again. If it weren’t for the guard outside this room, that number would be zero today.
“My mentor always reminded me, life doesn’t get easier just because you stopped using. I was once a city guard. I lost my eye in service to the Crown. And I am addicted to neko juice. Only one of those things matters to anyone who meets me.
“My mentor overdosed.”
River stared ahead, steely eye boring into Soren at the back of the room.
“I lost my eye to a werewolf. Last night, I learned my son was trying to become the very thing that cost me my job, my partner, my very way of life. I kicked him out. And I turned to the only thing I could think of that could help me, that could take the pain away. Officer Daniel stopped me. And for that, in the light of a new day, I am grateful.
“But I still have to live with my actions, my choices. I didn’t lose my son. I drove him away. If I could, I would take it all back. But we can’t go back. I can only move forward, and hope that someday, I can make everything work out.”
Soren glanced back at the door. Had Connor heard all that? River wasn’t exactly quiet.
“Hey.” He jumped. Soren looked up at River — how had he gotten here so fast? “I… I apologise for my behaviour… last night.”
“I’m not the one you need to apologise to,” Soren said quietly.
“Is he outside?”
Soren nodded.