Connor and the Wolves - 43. Hidden Lies

Soren had never seen a non-pack school before. Jasper High looked… well, not exactly nicer, but better than Elias Academy. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it; the paint was a bit fresher, the lawns a bit greener. Maybe he was just imagining things.
He supposed he had seen one before — primary school was full of both werewolves and non-infected students. Soren assumed Jasper High functioned in much the same way; they had wolf runners, just not as many as the pack schools. But it had been years since he’d gone to primary school — his parents had homeschooled him after he turned eight, in case he showed any sign of magic.
And here he stood, at the entrance to the school he should have gone to. Where he should be a happy, normal human mage, with parents to ask him how his day went when he got home.
Where Connor would always be a foe, an opponent on the track Soren could never approach.
Where Khurtschono was just their nameless neko neighbour.
Which life was better? Was he a monster for not wanting to give Connor up?
Soren followed Khurtschono and Skylar through the campus, approaching the stands beside the black track as wolves and people stretched. He could see the red wolf who’d challenged him during his race last weekend. And there was Connor, laying forward on the track to touch his toes. Soren’s gut clenched.
Connor had invited him to his house after the meet. They’d be alone together. And Soren had to tell Connor he wasn’t actually a werewolf. He couldn’t push it off any longer. He shouldn’t have pushed it off this far.
The wolves took the starting line as Khurtschono waved Soren’s help off. Soren sat down, eying the neko as she lowered herself. Her arm was slung across her chest, and she had complained about it every day since the accident. Soren couldn’t blame her; he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost use of an arm.
“Hey Soren!”
He raised his hand as Connor waved. Ignoring Khurtschono’s glare, Soren headed trackside, where Connor and one of his teammates were finishing their stretches.
“This is your boyfriend?” Connor’s teammate looked Soren up and down. “You really think you can handle this much man?”
“Fuck off, Brienne.” Connor leaned up, pressing a kiss to Soren’s lips. “We still on for this afternoon?”
“Yeah,” Soren smiled tightly. “I… uh, I have something I want to tell you.”
“Ooh, that’s never good,” Brienne said.
Connor arched an eyebrow. “Soren, if you’re breaking up with me again, you better tell me before we get to my house-”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Soren said quickly. “At least… I hope it won’t be.”
“Ha, I don’t even have to psych you out today. Your boyfriend’s doing it for me,” Brienne snorted. “You should bring him to every meet.”
“Why don’t you go pester Dylan?” Connor demanded.
“He’s busy with his dads,” Brienne waved off, looking toward the stands.
Soren watched the red wolf break off from his team and race for the stands. He skidded to a stop beside a wheelchair-bound elf.
Beside Soren, Connor rolled his eyes.
“Not to drag down my school, but why can Devyn get away with charging the stands, yet you get probation for claiming me?” He scowled. “You weren’t even in wolf form!”
Soren shrugged.
“I guess one’s more sexual,” he muttered, his face burning. “Not that it matters. I’m off the team now.”
“Did they kick you off for claiming Connor?” Brienne’s face soured. “That’s discrimination. You could have their asses handed to them for that.”
“No, I quit,” Soren said quickly. “Coach Miles wasn’t happy about either part though.”
“I still think you should have stayed on the team,” Connor said, rolling his arms. “Your pacing needs a bit of work for distance running, but you did okay on relays.”
“There were some conflicting interests,” Soren said evasively. The last thing he wanted to do was come clean now and ruin Connor’s race. “Besides, it gives Kurt some support; neither of us are running now.”
“And half of Elias Academy’s relay team is dead in the water,” Connor grinned ruefully. “I get it though.”
A chime sounded around the track, and Soren watched a horde of wolves take off. Part of him mourned quietly. He’d enjoyed his time on the team — if it weren’t for the risk of transforming, he would have loved to just run, even if he didn’t win. But there was no way he could race.
“Okay, you should go sit.” Connor waved him toward the stands. “Keep Khurtschono and her sister company.”
“Okay.” Soren leaned down and gave Connor another kiss — probably his last. “Have fun.”
“Yeah,” Connor grinned, casting a side-eye at Brienne. “I’m going to kick some butt.”
Pulling away, Soren jogged back to the stands. He ignored Kurt’s death-stare as he climbed the stairs, but he couldn’t ignore her when he finally sat.
“That didn’t look like a man who’d just learned a huge secret,” the neko snarled.
“I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want to ruin his race,” Soren said.
Kurt let out a disgusted grunt.
“I am in no mood to listen to your excuses. I swear to the gods, Soren.” She glowered at him. “If you don’t tell him, I will.”
“Khurtsaa, calm down,” Skylar said beside her. “It’s not your concern.”
“Connor’s my friend too,” Kurt spat. “I’m not going to let someone string him along!”
“Soren isn’t stringing him along,” Skylar denied. “Everything I’ve seen between them is genuine, even if it started as a lie.” She glared at Soren. “That doesn’t mean Connor shouldn’t be told; he should. And as soon as possible.”
“I know,” Soren muttered. “I’m going to tell him today.”

The chime rang. The sprinters took off.
Connor and Brienne took an easy lead, slowly straightening as they blurred down the track. Soren stood up as the two neared the finish line — how was Brienne keeping up — no, leading Conner?!
“Come on Connor!”
Connor pushed, closing the few centimetres between him and Brienne. But it was too late.
The two blurred over the finish line, joined a second later by their opponents. Connor scowled at Brienne, panting for breath as Brienne jogged triumphantly off the track.
Soren sat hard.
“He lost….”
“They still won,” Kurt said. “But fuck, she’s fast.”
“Yeah. I think she beat him at the finals last year,” Soren muttered, staring at Brienne. “Well, maybe Connor will get the 200 metre.”
“I wouldn’t go down there again. I think you’re bad for him.”
“Khurtschono!” Skylar snapped.
“What? He went down there and kissed Connor, and then Connor lost,” Kurt protested. “The results speak for themselves.”
“I did try to end it,” Soren pointed out. “But you were all insistent that we get back together.”
“Watch it.” The neko glared at him. “My right hand still works just fine.”
“Yes, but this isn’t your bedroom, so don’t start masturbating now,” Skylar said.
Soren’s eyes widened. He shoved a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle his laugh.
“The one time you actually joke….” Kurt glowered at her sister.
“I told his father everything,” Soren added after recovering. “Connor said he hates werewolves, and when we met, his father called me out as a mage. Connor was standing right next to me and I said I was a mage who could turn into a wolf. Connor just didn’t believe me for some reason.” He looked at Kurt, avoiding her eyes. “And that was before we broke up.”
He actually felt a little empowered. Sure, he’d fucked up. This never should have happened. But it wasn’t like Soren hadn’t tried to fix things. Was it his fault if Connor didn’t believe him?
Probably. Somehow.
His eyes followed Connor. Through another brief set of stretches, a sip of water. His heart ached. That had to mean something, right? This was real.
He loved Connor. Losing him would be devastating. But did he love Connor enough to tell him the truth?
The chime rang.
The runners took off.
And Soren grappled with himself. It needed to happen. It was going to happen. He was going to tell Connor. Again. And this time, he needed to make sure the man believed him.
‘Connor, I’m not a werewolf.’
Four simple words. Four words that could destroy his new life.
The runners streaked down the track.
Soren stared as Connor fell behind a couple of runners. The girl — Brienne — wasn’t racing him this time.
They reached the straight in the track. And Connor gained on his opponents. The start had been staggered; maybe it made sense for him to lag at first. But now Connor was pushing into second place, neck and neck with another runner.
Soren watched with bated breath as the finish line loomed. Connor pushed. The other runner pushed.
And then faltered.
Connor tore ahead, blurring past the finish line nearly a metre ahead of the other racer. He angled off the track, his grin visible even from Soren’s seat.
Behind Soren, people started making their way out of the stands. He frowned, staring down at the track. They still had the relays left. Why was everyone leaving?
“Is that it?” Skylar asked, looking around them.
“I don’t think so?” Kurt frowned. “They didn’t do the relays. But they didn’t do them last week either. Maybe they aren’t running them because Elias Academy has no team?” She shrugged, standing up. “Well, we came, anyway. Are you coming with us, Soren?”
“No.” Soren shook his head. “Connor invited me over for dinner, remember?”
“Oh yes. You’re going to his house to tell him you’re not a werewolf,” Kurt scowled. “Should be a fantastic dinner conversation.”
Beside them, Skylar sighed. She grabbed the back of Kurt’s neck, pushing her toward the stairs.
“Let’s go before you say something you’ll regret,” the older neko muttered. “Soren, we’re making Ythin tomorrow, if you want to join us.”
“I’ll be there,” Soren smiled tightly, before the nekos walked away.

Connor looked almost dead after the last relay. Yet he still jogged toward Soren, an exhausted grin on his face.
“Well, we squeaked out a win.” The man glanced around with a frown. “Where’s Khurtschono?”
“She thought you scratched the relays.” Soren echoed his frown. “Not sure why, but I wasn’t about to correct her. She’d probably neuter me.”
“Nah, she’s a bit spicy, but she’s not violent. It’s fine though. We’ll go catch the bus after I change.” He grinned suggestively. “I’d ask you to join me, but that probably wouldn’t end well. I’m pretty musky right now.”
Soren could smell him. It wasn’t a bad smell — actually, he wouldn’t mind smelling more.
“Yeah,” he muttered. “Better go shower. Wouldn’t want a werewolf to try to claim you.”
“Hey now.” Connor grabbed Soren’s arms. “I already have my werewolf. Though we might need to talk about some things. Once we get to my house, I mean.” He smiled ruefully. “I guess we both have some issues, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Soren felt the lack of contact bitterly when Connor let him go. Connor headed toward a bench and gathered his gear, before hurrying toward the locker room.
Following from a distance, Soren leaned against the locker room. He startled as Connor emerged barely three minutes later.
“No shower?”
Connor leaned toward him with a grin.
“Nope. Didn’t want to disappoint you. I saw that sniff,” he breathed.
Soren’s face burned. He looked away quickly, not sure how to respond to that.
“Relax,” Connor chuckled. “You’re a werewolf. Besides, even non-wolves enjoy it. Sometimes. Maybe.”
The tiniest snort slipped from Soren as he followed Connor toward a bus stop.
“And the mystery of why you’re trying to become a personal trainer is explained.” Connor laughed, glancing back at him. “You… really think it smells good? I’m not some sort of freak for-”
Connor stopped. Soren yelped as the man yanked him into a tight hug.
“You are not a freak. Don’t ever think of yourself like that.” Tears prickled Soren’s eyes as he gazed down at Connor. “You are my perfect mate,” Connor said. “And I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”
Fuck… why’d he have to be so romantic? Soren’s heart shattered piece by piece. How could he ever tell Connor the truth when it would destroy all of this?
“Besides.” Connor grinned up at him. “I enjoy the idea of a hot, sweaty wolf having his way with me.”
Soren laughed, trying to hide the ache in his heart. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go through with this.
But he had to.

He froze at the gate. A freshly painted sign proclaimed the neighbourhood beyond to be Riverview Meadows. And every house Soren saw was near-palatial.
“Your… your mother lives… here?” He asked nervously, glancing at Connor.
Fuck, Connor was RICH. He didn’t know how to feel about that. Doubts crept into his mind. How could Soren ever hope to be good enough for Connor? Was he just some way for Connor to feel good?
Feeding the poor.
No, Soren wasn’t going to think like that. He’d seen Connor. He’d seen the ache in his eyes, even as the man tried to mask it.
Still….
“Why does your father live in a tiny apartment if your mother can afford this?”
Connor winced beside him, hand on the gate.
“Um… I mean, you met my father,” he said. “He doesn’t really… I mean, it’s kinda the only place he can live?”
“I thought disabled guards got some sort of payment for their service.”
“They… uh, they do.” Connor wiggled the gate. He shoved it open suddenly. “Let’s get inside.”
Frowning, Soren followed Connor. It was weird for him to dodge like that. He was hiding something.
Well, that made two of them.
They approached a house — a clone of at least twenty others lining this street. How Connor could tell the difference was beyond Soren, but Connor easily slipped his key into the lock and let them both inside.
Palatial didn’t do the place justice. Soren was almost certain he could fit half his cabin in the entrance alone. Every surface shone, gleaming in a bright light as Connor flicked a switch. Richly appointed cabinets and counters ran through a massive kitchen, and Soren could see a giant tv hanging on the wall in a living room.
Even Kurt’s house didn’t have this sense of wealth to it.
Connor stared at him. It took a moment for Soren to realise he was still in the doorway.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I just… I didn’t realise you were a lord.”
“Hardly.” Connor snorted. “Mom got a good deal here because she’s a guard. She keeps the place safe — not that there’s ever any actual trouble — and in exchange, she gets a discount on the rent here.”
He headed for the stairs. Soren followed after a moment’s hesitation. His chest was tight. He stared at Connor’s back.
Do it. Do it now. Get it over with.
He couldn’t.
One more day. Surely that wouldn’t hurt. He could tell Connor tomorrow.
“I’m not a werewolf.” He whispered hoarsely. But what if he was a werewolf?
“You coming?” Connor asked, glancing over his shoulder.
“Uh, yeah.” Soren hurried after him, following Connor into a large bedroom.
He came face to face with a life-sized elf. Blinking in surprise, it took Soren a moment to realise the elf was just a poster taped to the wall. Running along a track, beads of sweat dripping down her face… he had no idea who she was.
“Evelyn Mynos,” Connor said, glancing at the poster. “She’s the mother of modern track. I met her in Mydara last year.” His face soured. “You know how they say never meet your heroes? Yeah. She’s kinda a bitch. I keep the poster though; helps motivate me to help other runners rather than bring them down.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “Not really looking forward to meeting her this year. She always presents the award for the best runner in Astara.”
“You’re going to win this year?” Soren didn’t mean it to sound like a question.
Connor shrugged.
“Missing the relays last week really hurt our chances as a team, though Elias Academy scratching today might even things out. But there’s always the individual races. I’ll probably qualify, but honestly? Mydara almost killed me last year. It was insane, trying to keep up with everyone. I really don’t know how I did so well.” Digging through his gym bag, he began tossing clothes into a hamper. “And I’m not really sure I want to go this year. You know how you said competition kind of took the fun out of running?”
“Yeah,” Soren muttered. It really didn’t. He’d enjoyed running with the team during practice. During the actual meet, Itumak had held him back from enjoying himself, but Soren would happily help the neko out again. “It’s… kind of hard to explain,” he said a moment later.
“Yeah,” Connor echoed. “I mean, I’ll probably go anyway, just to give Brienne a hand. She runs better when we’re competing together. We have a bit of a rivalry, and I’d hate to disappoint her. Besides, Dad would probably tear me a new one if I quit.”
A shirt flew at Soren. He caught it, nearly stumbling back in surprise. Connor shot him a wry grin.
“Something to remember me by?”
Soren chuckled quietly. “Um… thanks. I’ll try not to ruin it.”
“Come on, Wolfie. If that shirt isn’t covered in fur and cum by the end of the week, I’m going to be a little hurt.”
He choked on his spit. Coughing hard, Soren doubled over, clutching the shirt.
“Fuck- really? I mean… I’m not really-”
“Relax!” Connor laughed, shaking his head. “I get it, you don’t do the lust thing. Not that my mom would care about that; we should really get out of here before she thinks we were fucking like… well, like wolves.”
Do it! Now!
“Connor, I-”
“Connor, you better not be alone in your room with your boyfriend!”
Connor cringed at his mother’s voice. “Shit! We’ll be right down, Mom!”
He pushed Soren toward the door. Soren stumbled out of the room, flinching as it slammed shut behind him. It opened a few moments later, revealing Connor in a fresh outfit. And with a distinct floral scent.
“Think she’ll notice I haven’t showered?” Connor muttered as he shooed Soren toward the stairs.
“Probably,” Soren admitted.
They reached the bottom of the stairs. Soren sucked in a breath at the sight of Connor’s mom, wearing a crisp guard uniform.
“Hey Mom,” Connor smiled weakly. “This is-”
“Soren Eilan….” His mother muttered.
Soren’s eyes widened. Shit, he wasn’t in trouble with the guard for some reason, was he? He couldn’t remember breaking any laws… except for claiming Connor, and only the Chonos knew about that!
“You know him?” Connor demanded.
“Yeah. You’re a bit of a cold case down at the post,” his mother said, eying Soren. “Vanished on us after a truancy case.”
Vanished?
“Truancy?” Connor smirked at him. “Didn’t think you had that in you.”
“I don’t. Usually,” Soren muttered, remembering the laser tag game with Kurt.
“It was years ago. A few guards trailed you, caught you heading into the woods, but no one really figured out where,” Connor’s mom said.
“Yeah, his house is kind of hid-” Connor shut his mouth, but the damage had been done.
“You went to a werewolf’s house alone?!”
“I’m not a werewolf.”
Soren’s heart stopped. There. He’d said it.
Silence filled the room.
And Connor snorted.
“Don’t worry, she already knows,” he said. “You don’t have to pretend here.”
“No, I-”
Connor’s mom whirled on her son. “What in the name of the gods has gotten into you? Going to a werewolf’s house alone? Riding the bus smelling like this?”
“You forgot eating dinner with a family of werewolves,” Connor challenged. “Nothing happened, Mom.”
“Fine. But don’t come crying to me when everything blows up in your face. And get those things out of the kitchen.”
Grabbing Soren’s hand, Connor pulled him into the kitchen. Soren’s mind whirled, trying to catch up. What just happened? Why didn’t Connor believe him? No… he didn’t say he didn’t believe Soren.
“So… I know my apology was kind of botched,” Connor said, grabbing a bucket. Soren blinked in surprise at a score of wriggling crawfish inside. “I was hoping I could make it up to you, by cooking you a nice dinner.”
“With crawfish?” He was going to kill a bunch of crawfish to feed them both? “But you got squeamish around the fish,” Soren pointed out.
“Yeah, I know. But I want to show you you mean more to me than just a charity case. I caught these with a stick. With Dad’s help,” Connor admitted.
Soren caught Connor’s hand before he could grab a crawfish.
“I appreciate it,” he said quietly, heart pounding. “Honestly, I do. But you don’t need to kill dinner to show me you’re sorry. I know.”
“There’s another thing,” Connor muttered. Soren’s heart thundered even faster. Had he actually gotten through? Did Connor believe him? “Um… I still… I still want to turn. I know you can’t do it. But I know a few wolves….”
He blinked. Hard. Connor was asking permission to… what, let another werewolf turn him?
“I mean-”
“I’m not really the jealous type,” Soren interrupted. “I’m honestly just happy being with you. If other people would make you happy in different ways, I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of that.”
Connor met his eyes briefly before his flicked away.
“You… um… are you sure? I feel bad just for asking.”
“I’m sure. Just….” Soren took a deep breath. He didn’t know how to make Connor believe him at this point. He’d tried, multiple times now. The best he could do was try to limit the damage. “Look, forget about me for a moment, okay? If… if you’re going through with this, make sure it’s what you want. I care about you, whether you’re a werewolf or not. But I don’t want you to become a werewolf for me. Do it because you want to.”
Connor smiled tightly.
“Yeah, you’re not the first to tell me that.”
“And…” Maybe there was a way. “Um… promise you won’t be mad?”
“At you?” Connor laughed. “Soren, I don’t think there’s anything you could do to piss me off. You’ve got to be one of the sweetest people I’ve met.”
“I… there’s no claim between us.”
Silence.
Then… “Fuck.”
Connor stared at Soren. Try as he might, Soren couldn’t even get a hint of what Connor was thinking.
“I thought you said you and Khurtschono weren’t together.”
It was Soren’s turn to blink. What did Kurt have to do-
“I mean, that’s what it was, right?” Connor continued. “You saw me talking to her, and thought I was coming on to her?”
“Oh. Yeah, actually.”
“She doesn’t need your protection.”
“Yeah, I kinda figured that out,” Soren chuckled ruefully. “You… you aren’t mad?”
“A little,” Connor admitted. “I mean, that’s really fucked up. But it wasn’t like you were… I don’t know. It wasn’t nefarious or anything. Right?”
Soren shook his head.
“No. I just… I don’t know. Kurt told me she had a mate, then I saw you talking to her, and I just… I guess I figured you were trying to win her over. I mean, you kind of dominated those races.”
“Not really,” Connor denied. “I was trying for a personal record, but I missed it by a good second. That trip really did me in.”
“You still did really good.” Soren’s eyes passed over the bucket of scrabbling crawfish. “Um… Maybe we should let these go.”
“You sure?” Connor asked. “Because I will cook them for you if you want me to.”
“I’m sure.” Soren slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out a couple of copper coins. “Why don’t I get us lunch today?”
“Maybe we can go halves?” Connor smiled.
Soren frowned at the coins. “They’re not enough, are they?” Fuck, he should never have gotten that new shirt!
“No,” Connor admitted.
“Oh, hey.” Soren spun around at Connor’s mother’s voice. “I found this silver on my way in. You might want to check that hole in your pocket.”
Soren stared as the coin was shoved into his hand.
“I didn’t-”
“I thought I heard a clink,” Connor added with a grin. “Come on, let’s get these guys back to the river, then we can stop by Galyn Muur.”
One look in Connor’s eyes was enough for Soren to drop the subject.
“Okay.” He took the bucket, lifting it easily. “You’ll have to lead the way.”