Connor and the Wolves - 52. Forgiveness

“Last night, I learned my son was trying to become the very thing that cost me my job, my partner, my very way of life.”
Connor winced at his father’s words. Sitting against a statue of Zasar, he closed his eyes, blocking out the world around him. Don’t cry. Don’t let the pain show.
Yes, he’d tried to become a werewolf. So what? Wasn’t it his father’s responsibility to accept him regardless of who he was? But no, River tossed him aside. Got rid of him like so much trash. He’d tried his whole life to make River happy. But one mistake, and he was gone. Was Connor really that easy to discard?
“You came here with Soren,” Dan said suddenly. “That means you have a place to stay, right?”
“Yeah.” Connor swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I’m staying with him.”
“Hold on to him,” the elf said, patting his shoulder. “He seems like a good sort. As long as he doesn’t go looking for more juice.”
Connor smiled wanly.
“Don’t think that’ll be a problem. Not after this.” He jerked his head back at the doors as they opened.
And there River stood.
The two stared at each other. Silence built, heavy and oppressive.
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Dan said, heading for the exit.
The door clicked shut. And silence returned, broken only by the next speaker within the temple proper.
River took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”
“You and Mom both.”
“Emma knows?”
“I didn’t turn,” Connor said. “That wolfsbane you caught me with? I went to the hospital last night. Mom showed up, told me I wasn’t allowed at her house anymore. I lost both my parents in one night, and I didn’t even become a fucking werewolf!”
“Language!” River took a deep breath. “Sorry. But we both know you’re going to try again.”
“Yeah. I am. Once track finishes, I’m going to a clinic.”
“Soren’s not-”
“No, Soren is not going to turn me,” Connor said. “We already settled that this morning. Well, after I was done bawling my eyes out because my parents abandoned me. Now that I don’t have to worry about you finding out, I can actually do this in a safe manner.”
River scowled. But for once, he didn’t deny Connor’s point.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t turned you yet,” he said instead.
“He’s not a werewolf. He’s never lied to you,” Connor pointed out. “Soren is just a mage who can change his shape.”
“Then why? Why do you want to be one of them? Why are you doing this?”
“Isn’t it enough to say I want to be a werewolf?” Connor demanded. “Despite what you and Mom have tried to tell me my entire life, about how evil and dangerous they are, I’ve always liked wolves. Some of my best friends have been werewolves, at least until the two of you found out and chased them away.”
“It was for your own good-”
“It was to justify your own delusional hatred of them! Yes, one of them attacked you. Do you know where he is now? He’s a guard for the locker rooms at track meets. I’ve talked to him; he has repeatedly reached out to you to apologise, but you won’t listen.”
“He took everything from me!”
“And you took everything from me!” Connor snapped. “You kicked me to the streets! You took away my sense of family, of home, of safety. Thank fuck Soren was there to help me!”
“I’m sorry. You can come-”
“No. I can’t.” Connor shook his head. “How am I supposed to live knowing that I could be kicked out any time? That all it takes is one wrong decision and I’ll lose my home again? Sorry, but I can’t come home. Soren is my home now. Where he goes, I go.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Maybe. But have I ever backed down from my word?”
River sighed. He shook his head.
“You kicked me out. You made me feel unsafe. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to forgive you for that. But you’ve taught me that forgiveness can’t be easily earned.”
“I don’t believe I taught you to be stupid,” River growled.
Connor forged ahead. This was right. This had to be right.
“I’m staying with Soren. We’re both adults; we can do what we want. And right now, I don’t want to be around you.”
“And when Soren doesn’t want to be around you?” River growled.
“Then I will take a walk,” Soren said, as the temple door closed behind him. “Sir, I’ve never seen Connor cry before. Not even when I broke up with him. You made him cry. You hurt him in a way he’s never been hurt before. If he doesn’t want to be around you, then I suggest you respect his wishes, or you’ll lose him completely.”
“Is that a threat?!”
“No Dad. It’s a promise,” Connor said.
River looked between them frantically, as though looking for a sign they were bluffing. Soren set an arm around Connor, and Connor placed a hand over Soren’s, squeezing it lightly for strength.
“Fine. You know where I am when you… if you want to talk.”
Looking between them one last time, River left the temple. Soren patted Connor’s shoulder as Dan entered a moment later.
“Thought you were going with him,” the mage muttered.
Connor’s stomach dropped as the floor was pulled out from under him.
“Do… did… did you want me to?”
Soren’s arm squeezed around him tightly.
“I want you to do what’s best for you. If that means staying with me, I’m happy.”
Connor pulled at the bracelet around his wrist, playing with one of the acorns.
“I don’t want to leave you alone again,” he said quietly. “You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I have the Chonos,” Soren pointed out.
“Oh. Right.” Connor pulled away, heading for the door. How the fuck was he supposed to get back in with his father after everything he’d just said??
A hand caught his shoulder, wheeled him around. Soren knelt before him, getting to Connor’s level.
“But I’ll always need you.”