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RIP - Comicality
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First attempt at 2nd

Tiger

Entry posted by Tiger

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Okay, it's extremely short, but I intend to write a longer one and post it either in an anthology or in e-fiction, but this is my first attempt at anything in 2nd person. Comments and advice are welcome.

 

You look at this sleepy town and wonder why you have not left. No one here understands you, so you decide it

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Dion

I like it. You write well. My only dispute would be with the conversation. I may be wrong but I think it would read better if you didn't have 'She asks' and 'You reply'. Just the responses. However that's only my opinion and definitely not an expert one.

 

I'd like to read more of this when you get around to writing it.

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