I'm finding increasingly that the "positive outlook" I've had recently is spreading and building a momentum of its own. You know there has been a major problem in your life, when people look shocked, just because you're smiling. And its true that a smile on my face has been a rare thing. For so long... everything has been very serious and driven. Its nice to let the sunshine in.

It's obvious that the sunlight is coming from the direction of my new man (and yes, in case you were wondering - i AM gonna bore you to death about my new guy, every post i can). Everything has changed for the better. Last night - or rather early this morning, i did something i have never done with anyone before. I opened up.

I am an incredibly private person. even here at GA, i take steps to ensure my online world and the real world remain separate. But last night... i shared so much with my guy... only he knows both sides to me - and that is so liberating.

As the emotional connection grows stronger, things are happening that i've never felt before. For a start... just hearing a song that reminds me of him... can instantly get me aroused *blush* (and apologies... too much detail).

And then there's this... its early days... but for the very first time... i'm considering coming out. I don't want to hide my love with this guy... i want to shout it from the rooftops. I'm rehearsing ways of telling my mother (in fact, i considered just blurting it out when we had coffee this morning - "oh, by the way, you know I'm gay, don't you?"). The fact is, that coming out will create a massive number of impossible situations... but right now... with my guy by my side... i just don't care.

West