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"I hate you... But I love you."


{October 2, 2010}

 

Midnight here. I've noticed that I've been writting to many happy love pieces, so I thought I would take a different approach this time.

It's love, but it's dark and not pretty.

Please give it a read if you have some free time, and if you don't like it, that's fine, all I ask for is that you give it a chance. :)

Any feedback is definately appreciated!!!

cheers <3

 

---

...

 

The red car shimmered across the asphalt,

dripping rain like blood.

 

No one ever told me that

it would be this hard.

"I thought you loved me."

Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

I wanted to come and see you again,

to tell you that I was sorry;

you really don't know

how lovely you really are.

 

I rubbed my neck, bruised like the sea of purple.

As I look into the mirror, I keep asking myself:

why do I always come back to you?

I wish you would just leave,

and take all

these sorrows away with you.

 

"No,

you can't leave,

I won't let you!"

- I could barely breath

after uttering these words

out loud as if someone

could hear me.

But it was dead silent,

and I was alone.

I was disgusted with myself,

because I knew that it would only

break my heart if you did

leave me.

 

Nothing, and I say nothing

can penetrate your heart

of eternal darkness.

Why can't you see,

that I never betrayed

my own heart,

I just can't walk away from you,

because I love you too much.

So stand there,

watch me burn,

and watch me slowly die...

In your arms.

 

I seem to always turn a blind eye

to every pain you made me suffer through,

to every lie you made me swallow,

and to every nightmare

you

made me live through.

 

I tried to tell myself that your gone,

but your prescene still lingers here,

and it won't leave me alone.

Through these tear stained eyes,

I convinced myself to come

and find you.

 

"I am so SICK of looking at you.

So...

I beg of you...

Stop haunting me!

Stop screaming my name!

Stop loving me!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

 

I hate you!

...

No I don't...

I love you."

 

So do what you want with me,

and let's fall back into the same pattern:

press your body forcefully against mine,

and my tears will drown my senses.

Let me scream into your pillows,

as you devour me.

Suffocate me with your breath,

as I dig my nails deep into your skin.

Bite my lips until they bleed,

tell me you love me,

tell me your sorry,

and I will forgive you.

'Set this bed on fire.'

 

It's the same damn thing

over and over again.

Could it be that...

I've been alone all along?

And I was afraid to face it,

so I clutched onto you,

and you destroyed me.

 

But maybe,

my temper is just as bad,

and I'm just as mad,

and just as tortured,

as YOU are.

 

Maybe our relationship

isn't as crazy and messed

up as it seems to be.

Maybe, just maybe,

this is love.

 

Because I know that,

even though I may despise you,

hate you, I will always, always

follow you into the

darkness, Regardless.

...

 

- - -

 

- That's the end of this piece for now! I put alot of thought into this, so I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Who are we to say what love is? Although it is in our nature to love, how we express it is so mysterious.

 

What do you guys think about love? Feel free to comment and discuss <333333

 

Stay Sweet Always

xoxo Love,

 

Your Friend.

2 Comments


Recommended Comments

Nephylim

Posted

It's exactly the issue I was exploring in Love in Chains. Can you love someone who you are hurting? Can you love someone who is hurting you? Who are we to say? Only our heart can tell us. Your poem was thought provoking and yes it was dark and yes it was bleak but it was passionate and poignant and in places beautiful. There were parts that reminded me strongly of the song My Immortal by Evanescence. Some of the phrases are almost identical and it's just so haunting

Blixster

Posted

I really enjoyed reading this; it made me think back to my first real relationship of two years. I felt a lot of this turbulence in the relationship and this poem/piece describes quite well how I felt and more than likely, how he felt too. I don't know, I almost think it still describes the relationship, though it ended years ago. I really enjoyed this :) Thanks for sharing!

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