"I hate you... But I love you."
{October 2, 2010}
Midnight here. I've noticed that I've been writting to many happy love pieces, so I thought I would take a different approach this time.
It's love, but it's dark and not pretty.
Please give it a read if you have some free time, and if you don't like it, that's fine, all I ask for is that you give it a chance.
Any feedback is definately appreciated!!!
cheers <3
---
...
The red car shimmered across the asphalt,
dripping rain like blood.
No one ever told me that
it would be this hard.
"I thought you loved me."
Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself.
I wanted to come and see you again,
to tell you that I was sorry;
you really don't know
how lovely you really are.
I rubbed my neck, bruised like the sea of purple.
As I look into the mirror, I keep asking myself:
why do I always come back to you?
I wish you would just leave,
and take all
these sorrows away with you.
"No,
you can't leave,
I won't let you!"
- I could barely breath
after uttering these words
out loud as if someone
could hear me.
But it was dead silent,
and I was alone.
I was disgusted with myself,
because I knew that it would only
break my heart if you did
leave me.
Nothing, and I say nothing
can penetrate your heart
of eternal darkness.
Why can't you see,
that I never betrayed
my own heart,
I just can't walk away from you,
because I love you too much.
So stand there,
watch me burn,
and watch me slowly die...
In your arms.
I seem to always turn a blind eye
to every pain you made me suffer through,
to every lie you made me swallow,
and to every nightmare
you
made me live through.
I tried to tell myself that your gone,
but your prescene still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
Through these tear stained eyes,
I convinced myself to come
and find you.
"I am so SICK of looking at you.
So...
I beg of you...
Stop haunting me!
Stop screaming my name!
Stop loving me!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
I hate you!
...
No I don't...
I love you."
So do what you want with me,
and let's fall back into the same pattern:
press your body forcefully against mine,
and my tears will drown my senses.
Let me scream into your pillows,
as you devour me.
Suffocate me with your breath,
as I dig my nails deep into your skin.
Bite my lips until they bleed,
tell me you love me,
tell me your sorry,
and I will forgive you.
'Set this bed on fire.'
It's the same damn thing
over and over again.
Could it be that...
I've been alone all along?
And I was afraid to face it,
so I clutched onto you,
and you destroyed me.
But maybe,
my temper is just as bad,
and I'm just as mad,
and just as tortured,
as YOU are.
Maybe our relationship
isn't as crazy and messed
up as it seems to be.
Maybe, just maybe,
this is love.
Because I know that,
even though I may despise you,
hate you, I will always, always
follow you into the
darkness, Regardless.
...
- - -
- That's the end of this piece for now! I put alot of thought into this, so I hope you guys enjoyed it.
Who are we to say what love is? Although it is in our nature to love, how we express it is so mysterious.
What do you guys think about love? Feel free to comment and discuss <333333
Stay Sweet Always
xoxo Love,
Your Friend.
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