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Apology... Explanation... Excuse... However you want to take it!

Frostina

Entry posted by Frostina

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Okay, so... where to start....

 

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. :) lol

 

This is not a rant, merely sort of an info dump of sorts. I have been late in returning my edits and it might have seemed that I have been ‘Out of it’. Running around, and seemingly ditzy! (Well, more than normal, that is)

 

I am sorry for causing inconvenience to those I have, and I know I have been the reason for quite a few.

 

This is not an excuse, it’s just an explanation of sorts. It started in January, my Ma had been taken ill all of a sudden, and for some reason, my dad (who’s a Doctor BTW) was freaked. Probably because it was so unexpected, and it took turns for the worse with every passing day. I had to run around for days and hold fort there.

 

For those who don’t know, I am not the healthiest of people(physically, I mean), I kind of have a sword hanging over my head with a a recurring auto immune disease, that rears its head at every possible chance it gets, and I am too lazy to take proper care of myself. Give me some one else to take care of, and you’ll have the job done. but me?

 

I’m not saying that’s a good thing and I know I should be taking care of myself more, otherwise I am no good, blah blah blah. But when I get back home, I’m too tired to even lift my head, and I can’t be bothered to do anything more than get the milk out of the fridge and hope that it’s enough nutrient to keep me going for the next day.

 

And so, I managed to fall sick once the adrenaline rush wore off! And thus began my struggles with sleep again! I have been fighting insomnia for a long long time, and being on meds to keep the relapses of the auto-immune disease at bay, I cannot take sleeping pills(prescription ones) either!

 

Well, my curse, I’m too good at organising. Lol, yes, it sounds funny but, it’s true. My dad had taken ill when I was 17 and was in the final year of high school, and even then, with my Ma freaking out since it was a carcinogenic tumour, it was ALL me who had to do the running around with my dad. I am not saying I didn’t have help. That would be a blasphemous, but did get the job done, and I remember standing outside the OT, with the nurses, ready to give my blood to dad, and being called to the reception because they needed some paperwork signed. Omy, I don’t even know if I’m making much sense. But, oh well, that’s ancient history now, I guess.

 

So, all that happened is I delivered a stellar performance that time, and I got better at it! Any crisis that arose, and the first person my family would call was me. And sadly that has not changed much in the last 9 years.

 

It was not really a surprise when I got a call from my hysterical mother last week, saying my dad’s cancer is back, we had suspected it would be and we were hoping to catch it in the earlier stages so that it could be treated as soon as possible. So, there I was, on my phone again, with my uncles and their friends (did I mention ALL my uncles and aunts are doctors too?) trying to fix appointments to get further tests done, to go and check up the institutes and see if they are indeed as good as they claim. Since everyone has their own jobs, and I’m the only one ‘sitting around’, I had to do it. And I did! I swear to you I did! I did the best I could. And when the final test was being done, from the best place in the city (the 3rd test I might add), it looked like one of the earlier places had a faulty machine that had screwed up the CT scan images. That’s when the mess started. Ma’s been so upset over the mess, she just lashed out at me. What hurt the most was,

 

“How could you let baba be taken to such a place? What if it was an invasive test, and they screwed up? Do you not care AT ALL?”

 

And I was stunned, so were my uncles and my dad. But ma was relentless. And that hurt.

 

Anywhoo, now, it’s confirmed that its cancer, and since its almost always multiple sites that are affected by the secondary wave of cancer, the diagnoses and the treatments are to begin shortly. A visit to the doctor that operated on my dad the first time in 2003 paved our next steps. My dad, accompanied by 2 of my uncles (doctors) and ma will be out of the city by Sunday. To go get tested and treated in the best cancer research facilities in the country! (Isn’t it cool how doctors can pull of stuff like that so easily?)

 

And I will be at home, house sitting and fielding doctor visits and paperwork on this end; basically trying to keep up the communication link between the doctors in the two cities, and the throng of well wishers of my too large family.

 

Believe you me, my phone has been ringing almost nonstop for the past week, since we got the news about my dad.

 

I believe I’ve successfully managed to talk your ears off by now, so please excuse my random behaviour, and delays, if/when I make any. And I try to answer to the emails, as soon as possible. Even if I am unable to edit, I’ll be sure to let you know! :)

 

If anyone who I edit for want to look for other editors, because of my irregularities, please do so, I will certainly not hold it against anyone, because I KNOW how very frustrating it can be to wait for someone not being able to keep to deadlines.

 

Anyway... This year has not been my friend, so far and it’s already 5 months into it, so I don’t even have the motivation to say it will look up!

 

I’ll be back a 100%, and soon! If not anything else, I’m sure about that! :D

 

So, wish me luck! And I’ll be around! To those who know and have been putting up with my rants for the past few days, :hug: thank you! You have NO idea what it meant to have a listening ear when I had NO ONE to vent to! But it’s just too hard to keep giving the same explanation over and over again, mainly because it’s a long story and I do hate to type! lol

 

I miss you guys so much that I keep peeking in the chatroom just to see some friendly faces! :D well, in a manner of speaking! But yes I do :)

 

See ya on the other side! ;)

 

 

Frosty out!

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Agaith

There is never any need to apologise when you're going through something like this Frosty, you are one of the strongest women I know, and I sincerely wish your dad all the best in his recovery.

 

:hug: Im here whenever you need me :)

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Nephylim

Awww hun, what a nightmare. And of course the one thing you missed out of that, typically, is that you must be frantic with worry yourself.

 

Try not to take what your mother has done to you personally. In situations like this people have to hit out and you are the safe bet because she knows you'll be there for her on the other side.

 

You HAVE to take care of yourself. A glass of milk does NOT have enough nurtient and certainly not enough minerals. At the very least get yourself some supplements. At a pinch you could get the energy drinks (not the ones like red bull) that they give to patients who are unable to eat solids. I'm sure your family could get hold of some.

 

Have you thought about natural herbal remedies to help you sleep. Lavendar oil is very good especially if you put some in a warm bath before you go to sleep.

 

if there is anything I can do just call

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Marzipan

:hug: my darling. I will be here anytime you need a breather. I'm not going anywhere. I wish I could take some of your load off :( But bing me anytime you want to talk. You are still my nro 1 editor and when you come back YOU can regulate the amount you want from me. Just put me in oder. I hope I haven't been pushing you too much :( :( I'm so afraid I have done that.

 

I love you my friend. Please take care of yourself, please, please!

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Cia
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Can I offer a suggestion on the nutrition front? Get some of those meal replacement shakes or supplements. Better than milk, same effort. I keep cereal bars around myself. I've had to ask for patience from my writers for far less issues than that. Anyone who doesn't understand that life sometimes gets messy needs to have their heads examined. Good thoughts for you and your family, I do hope things will look up, even if you can't see it now.

 

 

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Sara Alva

Oh Frosty . . . I'm so sorry you have all this going on :/ I don't think I have any good advice, 'cause I've never been in your shoes (other than having a mother lash out at me . . .) but we are here for you, ready to lend an ear whenever you need it. I know we're just random internet people, but sometimes just venting can help :)

 

Hoping for the best for you and your family.

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Frostina

:hug: everyone :) And thank you for the wishes! :)

 

@ Stu: sweet talker... lol, But, yes, i do appreciate the concern! and like i said, i'll bounce back eventually, and knowing me it will be pretty soon! :)

 

@ Nephy: Yes, yes i am worried, and not to mention, i'm scared too! i mean, i know the high chances of cure, and i KNOW that things will probably be just fine, but, somethings your mind just doesnt process! I know how stressed my ma is, and thats the reason i cannot take offense at what she says, nonetheless, it hurts! :(

As for remedies to sleep, yes, I've tried a lot of things, but according to the sleep doctor (lol, thats what I call him) he said, the best way for me is to wear my self out so that just a tap on the forehead knocks me flat! lol and that was after 5 years of intensive treatment! :P but, i'm getting there... I'm actually proud of myself at getting 3-4 hrs of sleep on a avg these days :)

so, lets hope it'll improve, and soon!

 

@ Nephy and Cia: i am going shopping today! lol just to get some heatly quick foods and stock my fridge, because like you said, i do need it! :) its so so hot here i really dont wanna go out! but, well, someone has to do it... ^_^

@ Cia; :hug: thank you! the head examiners would make money then, dont you think? u think i could charge commission? :P lol ( i know i know.. poor joke :P )

 

@ Maria: thanks for the well wishes, and NO u were not pushing me that hard that i'd fall off! :P and i did tell you that i was having problems and thank fully you managed to find a solution to it! :) and i'm happy for that babe! :hug: so just breathe! :D

 

@ Sara: like I said, Thank you. And yes, i know venting helps sometimes, but right now, it feels like, i vent and then smack, something hits me on the face the very next moment.. there fore, more venting! lol and there's a limit to the amt of stress i'm willing to put on someone else's brain! :P

 

Be back SOON! :D

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Cailen

For all the crap I give you you probably are one of the very best people i have ever met, and i mean in real life too. I hope everything ends up alright and of course i send my fondest wishes to you as well. As maria said you're the #1 editor in my book no matter what, don't worry about my story, just focus on getting your life back on track.

 

Wishing you the best

 

Cailen

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jian_sierra

Hey Frosty, well you were there for me when I needed an editor and I wanna thank you for that. I can't speak for all the people you edit for so I'll just speak for myself. You don't need to apologize for taking care of your family, most especially yourself! I do hope you get well soon. And if there's anything I can do for you, anything at all, please don't hesitate to holler :hug:

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Frostina

@Cailen: Thank you, and i do apologise for the delay once again! :) but at least now you know.. and i'll get them done as soon as i have my 'life back on track'! :D

 

@ Jian: Thank you for the best wishes, and you really didn't need to thank me for editing for you! :*) i do it mainly because i love it! seriously, i love to edit! and i really really enjoy it! :)

 

also, not to mention that ii get to read the chapters before anyone else sees them! ^_^ lol

 

Thanks for the offer, and yes, if needed i'll take you up on it! :D

Cheers,

Frosty!

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myself_i_must_remake

In light of your birthday, I will reply only in compliments:

 

1) You are an inspiration to complainers anywhere to buck up and realize things could be worse.

 

2) There's a definite glow about someone who's working her ass off and not thinking twice about it, and you've got the glow.

 

3) And to think, you still have time to give the veteran writers on this site a run for their money.

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comicfan

Okay so you lurk, you deal with everyone in your family, and your own health isn't the greatest. And they wonder why you chose chatterbox for a nickname. If you need a hand with anyting let me know. I have broad shoulders to cry on if you need them.

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Frostina

@ Billy: Thank you for the lovely compliments! :*) You're really the sweet talker! :P

 

Although i have to stop and think what your comments would have been, had it not been my b'day! lol

 

@ wayne: Thank you... honestly! :) I do like the nickname tbh ^_^ i do like to talk! :lol:

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