- been really busy lately, it's 2am & I feel like now is the right time to start writing again.

It's been months since my last blog entry & reading it over again feels.... surreal.

As I wrote it, I was feeling pretty down and miserable at the time, it pretty much summed up the relationship I had that never really worked out.

It's funny how as time goes on, I can see things more clearly now.

He's gone. It's been a month already. He's living his life, I'm living mine.

& I'm fine, I'm okay.

Sometimes, learning to be alone changes you in a good way, it defines who you are in the moment.

I guess I didn't realize that months ago, when my hands were guided by such a sad passion, what seemed like a never-ending duet with a broken heart.

I had to take time to realize that the one person I needed the most in my life...

wasn't him, it's myself. Seems silly now when I think about it.

It didn't really matter if we could've had it all, it's realizing the truth & letting it go.

I couldn't let it burden me anymore for the rest of my life.

Underneath the stars, I still think of him from time to time, but not because I miss him;

I don't think I could ever forget him, so I really do wish him nothing but the best.

As Adele said, I do imagine being 40 & looking for him again, turning up and seeing that he's settled down with a beautiful family & he's completely happy. & maybe I'll be settled down or maybe I'll still be on my own... but that's okay, I'm okay with that because I've changed & I've learned to let myself go. -

Toto