My room is a mess. I admit it. Old receipts in Amazon boxes, CDs full of back up data scattered around, all sort of books and research papers, and accumulation of memories from different stages of my life among other things.... I am recovering from the grand trench of growing pain for some while now, but those mementos keep reminding me of such unhappy past, as if they do not want to part with me, in fear I would find happiness. I have been wanting to shake off those who are still pulling my legs from moving forward, but all that piling up baggages of the past affected both my mood and energy, so they remained.

Today I decided it's time to clean the past. The project is daunting no doubt and will take multiple days, but it must get started, or I would always remember it. In the process, I found my old medical terminology book, an accounting project, various leftover computer parts when I upgraded my computers, piling Amazon and other online store receipts, and a Costco coupon for 100 free photo prints (ooh hoo!). I dusted various books on the shelf, among them, Jude the Obscure, the wrong edition from what I ordered. I kept it anyways, because no matter what the cover is, it is still the unglamorous story of an overachiever victimized by his own moral integrity (however unconventional he became at the end).

Among other more interesting things I found was a pile of peer review periodicals I gathered on small acid-soluble protein (SASP) found in various bacteria's cell wall. I found them for a school project, which later sparked an interest and I started to fabricate a hypothesis on the possible cure (and/or prevention) for skin cancer. Since my desire to go into health care diminished, so if you guys are interested in doing the full research in that field, let me know. I will let you know what I was thinking, so at least that project can be carried on, and perhaps help people out if successful.

Another thing I found was the outline I did for an old story I wrote. I made a structured outline because I really thought seriously about becoming an author (no, I didn't join GA for chat originally), so I did quite a bit of online (and little bit of offline) research on how to get stories published. Having a cover letter and a structured outline were among the requirement before sending the whole story to the publisher. On top of the outline pile was the handout "Principles of Screenwriting" (which I do not remember whether I got it online or from a workshop). Bottom of the pile was a chapter I eventually took out from the final story, because it was not told from the main character's perspective. I thought it was a fun idea, but then decided it was just distracting from the main storyline. Besides, that subplot was much darker in tone than the main storyline and involved a theme that might turn off people who were attracted to the main plot. It was a story of a side character who talked very little in the main story, so the entire chapter was about what was his life like, in the mind of a shy boy, and his dark past.

It is a good story on its own I think, though with a somewhat disturbing theme (just my opinion). It also needs editing and I am not sure if what I have left is the whole thing, though I have eight pages here with me. According to the outline, there is more to that subplot, but I might have integrated the remaining part into the main storyline, so I am not sure....

Anyways, hopefully my life will be on its feet again after my room is finally rid off past events. Now I think of it, I actually have done more than I originally thought when I was going through that painful (but numbing) period. And what a big spender I was, after seeing all those receipts. Yikes!