I can understand some of what you are trying to say.  We can often blind ourselves by focusing on where they're from rather than who they are.  I've always prided myself in the way I give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Many times this has led me into being greatly taken advantage of but I've never narrowed it down to one single group.  At least that is what I strive for. 

I have however have had consistently bad experience with one group of people from a very small part of the world which has left me very distrustful of them.  I have no problem with others right next door to this group, it's just when I learn they're from that particular area that my defenses jump up.  I do not feel proud of myself about that and I know I should not base my opinion of the whole group on a single individual but my personal experience have just been that bad. 

I volunteer at a mental health clinic so I deal with a lot people who are in adult foster care homes.  In the area I live in it has pretty much become a cottage industry for this group.  I've seen how many of them treat those under their care and I find myself bouncing between feeling horrified to enrage. 

I tell myself it has more to do with the job than the particular group.  I know it is low paying and their employers are insane obsession with sucking up every cent they can out of those they are trying to take care of.   I tell myself to put more blame on the environment they come from instead of the individual and that it is the nature of the job and if I had greater exposure to those outside the field I would meet those who are completely different but as the saying goes, once bitten twice shy. 

I do not know how I should feel towards this group.  I'm not a hateful person and I don't treat them differently at least on the outside but in the inside I do.  At what point does distrust turn into hatred?    You see at one point I was one of the people they were supposed to be taking care of and by the time I escaped that situation I had ended up in the ER four times and lost 90 pounds in five months.  I had my bank card stolen and my medication resold to the pharmacy. 

It is because of that experience that I do my volunteer work.  I want to help make sure that others don't go through what I went through. I've seen that the majority are mistreated and I find myself asking myself if is it because of the nature of the business or is it particular to that group of people.  After years of volunteering I can say it has to do more with the sort of business they run as I've seen many outside the group who have been just as abusive.  Still I find myself putting most of the blame on that particular group which, if I honestly can say to myself isn't really all that fair.  

Still even though 9 out of 10 treated me horrifically I find myself unsettled that I'm not willing to be open enough to give that 1 in 10 person the benefit of the doubt.  That I can't is something I find difficult to live with and something I would one day like to change but that comes with forgiveness and in this particular situation I find that difficult to do. 

You do intrigue me sometimes Roberto

Most of the people I don't care for are the one's that say they are animal lovers and are definately the opposite, I'm very much animal based and farming, I hate being told what to do and the laws concerning my meat (I mean my pigs ) are so long winded and just plum crazy, I find myself hating the whole country that governs those laws and it isn't Britain.

I do have to say JMH that was a fascinating speech thank you for sharing, it makes you think, and thats what my opinion is about everything: Think First.

Hmm, interesting points. Maybe humans are hard wired to be prejudiced in all sorts of ways because we see it in the actions of others every day and, as you say Rob, in our own actions and responses too.

I try to follow the adage "judge as you find", but even that isn't fool proof because until we know another person we can't begin to understand their story and why they behave, react and interact as they do. And getting to know them is made all the more difficult if we've already put up our judgmental barriers.

Considering the places I sometimes find myself in, I've come to appreciate the need to talk to all kinds of people.  It's a necessity to be able to survive in any new place I find myself.  This means that sometimes, judging a person for me is not an option.  I need help and I have to convince whoever has this help to be on my side. So, my motto is no judging until they burn me in some way.  Then I'll go like 'don't trust that person, they'll screw you'. 

Of course there is a downside to this, since every person has their own motives, and if the motive doesn't fit with yours, you get the short end of the stick. I've had a few moments of having someone hurt people I care about because I trusted that person.  While it was unexpected, I try to be more cautious about who I let in the inner circle of family now.

But you're right, people can be surprising, Yettie.  I find friends in the most unlikely places and that is a really good feeling.  When you connect with someone you never expected to like or to understand you. I might not bring them home to meet the family, but it doesn't mean they don't make my day when I do see them again.
 

The trick to getting rid of prejudice or judging is to be widely open minded with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I appreciate your blog posting. These are ideas I try to remind myself of again and again and you have helped me with that today. I have worked in mental health for a while now, primarily higher acuity inpatient care. Something I learned long ago was that, even when dealing with people who have  massive amounts of paranoia and distrust that may or may not be coupled with psychosis or mania, etc., you can move mountains by simply staying mindful of being honest, respectful, having humility and empathy, and keeping your word. (And having a whole lot of patience helps to deal with the times things don't quite work out.) 

On days where we are woefully understaffed or the day is simply awful for whatever reason, we would have a ward meeting to explain what is going on and asking for people to try to be patient and work with us. I have been amazed again and again at how people will come together to help. People that have been antagonistic or isolative would step up to help a peer or help staff with issues. Does it work every time? Absolutely not. Are there still people who will be opportunistic and predatory with these circumstances? Certainly. But I continue to see enough of the other happen that I try to remember some of these examples when the jaded harveybirdman begins to hold sway yet again. And it helps to remember some of these times when I find my first impressions being so negative or turning away before even allowing enough time for any real impression at all.