*Dislike* where do I fly into to kill these little ........

Kyle sounds like a good kid and I am glad you guys are paying attention to the bullying.

As for those kids, someone should talk to them about their behavior.

Kyle has it right and I am glad to see you reinforce  that.

As someone who was bullied for years in school, fighting back never really worked, but I was always smaller and weaker than my bullies. Additionally, these arseholes would take advantage of my temper and goad me until I lashed out, making it look like everything was my fault. And there's nothing quite as frustrating as hitting a guy and having him laugh at you. I remember once hammering on a guy's back with both fists and having him tell me, 'Ooh, thanks, nice massage!' Yeah, for all my anger issues I was pretty shit at fighting... Didn't help that I had a teacher who spent nearly three years ignoring the fact that I was being bullied daily. I think she thought it was my own fault that I couldn't stand up for myself. When I'd finally had enough and decided to switch schools, I went back for my things and to explain to my class what they'd done to me (which was drive me to attempted suicide at the age of not-quite-eleven), my teacher refused to be there. She left the class to her colleague and spent the time I was there in the teacher's lounge having coffee. I like to think she couldn't face me out of guilt.

Point is, there are so many factors that allow this sort of thing to happen. Shitty teachers who don't pay attention or don't care, kids whose parents naïvely think that 'my kid could never do such a thing', a school administration that isn't equipped to handle that sort of situation... Verbal bullying is hard to prove, and victims are often encouraged to just 'grow thicker skin' or 'rise above it' or 'just ignore them'. The only people who ever say that are people who have never been bullied.

Wish I had you when I went through that phase. Being bullied is never fun. What I learnt is the best thing is to ignore them. These losers are never that important to begin with and never will be. The only thing is that when they grow up they are still those bullies, and in the real world of complex politics straight out aggression seldom works. So, understandably they totally suck at grown up situations. The only thing to learn from them, is never to stoop that low. 

Uh, you "explained" their behavior to Kyle?

Joann, if you can really understand it, would you please explain it to me sometime? 'Cause I'll never get it otherwise.

Rustle, I told Kyle that they hadn't been taught to be nice to other people, and were just being mean.  He said he knew that, but they shouldn't have jumped the other little boy.  I agreed with him but told him he did right by helping the other child, and ignoring their name calling.  His response. "It doesn't matter if someone if black, white, or gay does it Nana.  We are all still alike aren't we.  That's what mama tell me."  I would have hugged my daughter so hard right then if she'd been there.  I'll tell anyone I'm proud of how Andi has raised Kyle.

But, the real world still is cruel in so many ways.  The main concern I have now is that someone will take advantage of his good nature and hurt him.  My husband told me no to worry about something that hasn't happened or I can't control. I read my post again this morning and saw some bad wording, and that reminded me how angry I was last night when I found out about it.  Now, I'm in the frame of mind to feel him out this week while he is staying with me.  If he brings it up again, I'll know it weighing on his mind.  That's all I can do at this point.

It's easy to understand why ten and twevle year olds would pick on an eight year old.  For them, an eight year old is easy pickings.

I told Kyle that they hadn't been taught to be nice to other people...

 

I think you know the truth, Joann.  They were taught to be ugly to other people.  Or, at least, one of them was and idea has spread to others in the bully group.

Bullies like passive people who won't fight back because they only want easy pickings. The minute someone stands up for themselves and makes it difficult to pick on them, the bullies will move on to easier pastures because they don't like to be challenged. Fighting back is the only way to truly combat bullying, despite what the pacifist crowd tries to say.

I was only bullied once in my life for about three days in the 6th grade. For whatever reason this kid made it his mission to bug the living hell out of me. After a couple days, I'd had enough and we ended up getting into a fist fight behind the football bleachers after school. We were both pretty big kids for being 11, and the fight ended with a bloody nose, a swollen lip, and scrapes and cuts. He never bothered me again, so I always advocate confrontation. It doesn't always have to be physical, it can be verbal too or getting an adult involved to stop it. 

The world needs more people like you Joann

Bullying.......

Sadly a bloody fact of life JoJo.

That Kyle has fallen prey to it. Let's be honest, it is to be expected at some stage. That you found out about it, and are able to deal with it and encourage and council him. A blessing.

I can see why it would make you angry, but the little tyke must learn to handle and cope with it. It is a distasteful part of our world. He will be strong for it, and learn that there is right and wrong and good and bad, and where he stands in relation to that.

Continue to guide and cherish him. He will love you for it.

And be glad that he has the courage to speak out against it, and to be brave enough to talk with you about it.

martial arts are excellent in these situations.

Bullies don't really know how to fight. They only know how to push people around and for that, they need cooperation in the form of pacivity and fear.

When they don't get that cooperation, they often learn a valuable lesson.