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Secret Behind 1St Chapter

Emi GS



The thought of Suicide will come from the pain that never ended. But for me it came out of misunderstandings. Yeah, misunderstandings... By knowing the consequences, I don't wanna be a Gay. At least not in front of the people I Love. Its not that I am ashamed of myself, but... You know its complicated to answer.


Coming to the story, the first chapter itself named as the story title. So many, not so many though, said it was very emotional and tough write. I don't know it was that deep but it was just came out of blue into my life. When I was thinking about the concept for my story, I have been through some incidents that made me to write the first chapter. Yes, I had been in suicide tendency because of these situations.


My family members underestimated me and how sincerely I take relations into my life. For example, if I thought that someone is my friend I'll just put a full stop for that. I won't go any further or I won't let them down. And if I had seen someone like my sister, no other feeling enter into my mind. I am like that.


But my family members underestimated me, and forced me to marry someone. I strongly rejected, I am gay firstly, because I raised that girl as my sister. I loved her like I loved my own sister. But they don't wanna listen any of that. Not the gay thing. I haven't told them I am Gay. They got angry about my decision and most of my family members blackmailed me that if I won't agree they have nothing to do with me.


I am lost... Out of words... And I felt that my heart became a void that was pulling me in and asking me to stop the pain. I can't thing straight. If they don't want me, then I don't want me too. That's when my mind went throughout all the options I have, and I had only one option. Suicide... That's my option to end all I have been going through. I know its not that easy, but that was what I was thinking. I have gone through that phase for some days.


So the first chapter itself came to me like a flood. I just put it down and think after how I have to complete the story. I stuck there though, but hope that a good story will come out of me.

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