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Identical?


GREEN

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I met my brother and his girlfriend today for lunch. Sometimes I wonder where my brother and I got so different. He's my twin brother and sometimes we can do the same things. We look identical but that is where our similarities end. He can be a little cold with people, something I am not capable of doing. He's never been shy but I seem to be. Ever since I came out to my family my brother seems to want to find reasons for he and I to relate. Normally I would welcome it but today he crossed the line. He wanted to pretend to be me so he could trick Green when he came home. This was supposed to be what proved to me that he and I were more alike than I think.

 

I told him no and he really got angry at that. His girlfriend did too. I pulled him aside and asked him what the problem is. He told me that he doesn

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Hi Chaz and Green,

 

I remember when Green would mention your twin brother in blog entries many months ago. I used to think and feel that your twin brother is also Gay. There are studies on identical Gay twins. Maybe something you can read up about.

 

There is something in my inner gut (and its not based on anything then an instinctive guess) that tells me your twin may be Gay and he is struggling mightily with his own identity. Otherwise, why would he want to pretend to be you so he can be with Green? Reading your blog entry is surreal and de ja vu...I don't blame you for having your radar go up and his girlfriend having the same reaction. I just have this inner feeling that he is Gay and doesn't know how to come to terms with it? Could that possibly be?

 

It is either that or if he is straight, he can't seem to connect and communicate with you. Which is his issue and not yours and somehow that disconnect has left him stranded in his emotions and maybe even though you are twins you are as far part in galaxies as can be.

 

Maybe I am totally wrong and you can bitch slap and tell me to f#*k off but I had this feeling then and still do that maybe your twin has a thing for Green. Its either that or he resents that you are settled, happy and he isn't with himself..I don't know...I just sense from Green's early entries that your twin has a lot, real lot of inner demons and struggles (go back to Green's blog entries when you were just friends in the Fall and way before you were together as a couple)

 

I am not making sense but I read your entry and what you describe would leave me troubled too. I will be interesting to read what others say.

 

Do you feel comfortable speaking to your parents about it? Maybe your twin's girlfriend? I think your concern is well placed..I wish I could give better advice. sorry.

 

except, I do offer hugs and hoping it works its way out:)

 

Michael

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There is something in my inner gut (and its not based on anything then an instinctive guess) that tells me your twin may be Gay and he is struggling mightily with his own identity.

 

I agree with you. Chaz's twin brother always acts funny when Chaz and I are together in front of him. I saw him watch us once and he seemed sad. I dont know if he likes me but he always seems troubled by our relationship. Besides he sets off my gaydar like crazy and the only person that has ever done that is The Liar.

 

GREEN

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Guest Kitty

Posted

When I was talking to him I felt like I was breaking something. I know he just wants me and him to relate and I want that too. The problem I see is in the reaction he gave me when I came out. He looked disappointed. He never said anything about this to me but I saw it in his face a few months ago. I also saw it when he met Green for the first time.

 

I see it every time I talk about Green. I asked him about this and he just looked at me before walking away.

It's too bad he can't talk to you about what's going on with him. On one level he may want to relate to you, but for whatever reason, he can't, and (well, you didn't exactly ask for advice, but here it is anyway) you don't need to take responsibility for his problems. A relationship takes two people both doing their part.

 

It could be that you misinterpreted his reaction as disappointment in you, but you'll never know if he doesn't communicate with you.

 

BTW,

 

I agree with you. Chaz's twin brother always acts funny when Chaz and I are together in front of him. I saw him watch us once and he seemed sad. I dont know if he likes me but he always seems troubled by our relationship. Besides he sets off my gaydar like crazy and the only person that has ever done that is The Liar.

 

GREEN

In one of your posts back in October, I believe you talked about Chaz's brother having a boyfriend.

 

 

Kitty

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It's too bad he can't talk to you about what's going on with him. On one level he may want to relate to you, but for whatever reason, he can't, and (well, you didn't exactly ask for advice, but here it is anyway) you don't need to take responsibility for his problems. A relationship takes two people both doing their part.

 

It could be that you misinterpreted his reaction as disappointment in you, but you'll never know if he doesn't communicate with you.

 

BTW,

 

I agree with you. Chaz's twin brother always acts funny when Chaz and I are together in front of him. I saw him watch us once and he seemed sad. I dont know if he likes me but he always seems troubled by our relationship. Besides he sets off my gaydar like crazy and the only person that has ever done that is The Liar.

 

GREEN

In one of your posts back in October, I believe you talked about Chaz's brother having a boyfriend.

Kitty

 

I was speaking of his older brother. I met his brother a couple of years back.

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Green thinks that he is Gay. I'm not so convinced. I talked to my sister and my other brother about this. My sister agrees with Green but my older brother says that he isnt. I dont really know what to think about this. I called him today and he didn't answer.

 

My mother told me that she has been concerned about him. He hasn't been home since last month. he only calls. I called his girlfriend. She tells me that I am a jerk and hangs up. I am frustrated with this. I feel like I am being blamed for something I have no control over.

 

I just wwant him to tell me what the hell is going on. I called his girlfriend back and demanded that she tell me what the hell is going on with him. She told me that she really didnt know but she thought I had done something. What? ERRRR this is making me mad.

 

Chaz

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Chaz,

 

You didn't do a thing to your identical twin. As Kitty said, whatever issues he has and in my humble opinion, your twin has lots of issues that HE (not you) is struggling with. The one person that can help him is HIM. Your twin has to take the first steps. All you can be is whom you are..open and receptive to listen to him. If he needs therapy, he has to take the first steps.

 

I hope you don't beat yourself up over this because you did NOTHING wrong. I am betting that your twin's GF is blaming you because she knows something is off kilter so rather then face reality its beat up on you...If your twin is Gay, he is Gay..if he is str8 then he is str8..he is the one and only person who knows for sure.

 

My bet is Green is correct (I stand corrected, your twin probably doesn't lust after Green) in that your twin sees what you and Green have and he wants that (meaning to be able to be openly Gay) and whatever longing he has in his heart and mind to be free, he may just be struggling with his own inner demons.

 

All you can do is be there for him..let him know you are there if he wishes to talk and confide in you with his troubles and worries and pains etc...beyond that, say your prayers, hope for the best, be open and receptive as you have been..its then up to him to take the initiative after you tell him all that.

 

Maybe you and your family members can check in with each other to see if anyone has heard from him. It appears as if his GF will be of no help..sorry to slam her but that's just how I see it.

 

Hugs sent your way and I am still guessing he is Gay....whatever else he is struggling with is also beyond your reach other then to be there for him.

 

Michael

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Ok Green and Chaz time to be a bit icky. Perhaps, he's wishes he was Green. :blink:

 

Perpares to be dashed for commenting such a thing. :nuke:

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Ok Green and Chaz time to be a bit icky. Perhaps, he's wishes he was Green. :blink:

 

Perpares to be dashed for commenting such a thing. :nuke:

 

EWWW!

 

GREEN

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