'I don't understand why you want to hide your curves like that,' she said, while I adjusted my binder. 'You look wonderful just as you are.'

And I thought, That's kind of hilarious, really, because you're always bugging me about losing weight. I told her, 'It's not about how I look. It's about how I feel.'

'No, I know. I understand.' No you don't. 'But wouldn't it be better if people were just happy with the bodies they have?'

I sighed. 'Would be nice, yeah. But we don't live in that world. I'm not about to medically transition anyway.'

'No, I know that. I was pretty sure of that. But you always liked wearing pretty dresses and things.'

'Yeah. And I can still wear them, I'm sure I will again. Just not right now. Right now this feels better. Besides, getting dressed up like that and wearing lots of make-up, it's kind of like a costume. Like I'm performing. I'm not performing.' Is the measure of womanhood wearing pretty dresses? Can't boys wear dresses if they want? Aren't you a feminist?

'Well, whatever you do, you're my baby and I'll always love you. But I have to be allowed to state my opinion.'

'Sure, but my body and my gender are not up for debate.'

'I know. I'm not debating.'

'Sure feels like it.' I tied my boots. We left it at that.

Wish I could have expressed it better, what I'm feeling right now. I talked to a trans guy over on another site. I told him how I don't really experience gender dysphoria. He said he didn't either, but he did have gender euphoria when he was in the right gender expression, and more and more as he transitioned. That's what this feeling is, I guess, when I put on the binder and go out in public and just feel good about it all. Gender euphoria. When it feels right.