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Wayne Gray

Entry posted by Wayne Gray

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I never thought I'd be playing God.

I manage twelve small clinical labs, including the staff that go along with them. I plotted out minimum staffing levels to run each. I asked for volunteers to go on unemployment while our business contracted, and patients stopped coming in for routine visits. The idea, so beautifully expressed on paper, was to have those "extra" staff waiting - out of the line of fire, and hopefully staying healthy away from the front lines of this epidemic.

One of those front-line staff has been hovering on the edge of sick for a week. Yesterday, it was worse, and her temp climbed past the cut-off. We sent her home, and she has been tested. We're now waiting on results.

Her relief is a mother of two small children who has asthma. I called her this morning.

"Hey. Good morning. I need you at the clinic on 10th."
"Good morning, Wayne. Okay." She says something to someone in the room, then comes back to the phone. "I'll be a little late, I just need to get the baby set up for my husband."
"No problem. Take your time. I'll let the site administrator know the lab will open a little late." I pause, debating. How bad would it be if that lab stayed closed? This particular clinic is right on the plaza area in town. It's a place where homeless and the worst off in the county congregate, even now ... since they don't have anywhere else to go. I'd essentially take medical services from them if we closed this lab. To keep it open, I'm asking her to risk her health ... considering her condition, potentially her life. I clear my throat. "Hey. Thanks for working."
I listen as she takes a breath. "It's what we do, right?"
"Yeah. Be safe. Let me know if you run low on masks, I'll steal from other sites if I have to get them to you."
"Thanks, Wayne. I'll be online soon. See you then."

She hung up.

I don't like playing God.

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MichaelS36

MichaelS36 25,660

Posted

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I sent this to you in a PM .. but I'll put it here too: 

Wayne, you're a good man. All you can do is operate trying to do the best that you can. 

What happens if you close a site down?  Are your folks given the best protection? 

Choices are hard. Medical people are like cops, or military, they put themselves in harms way for the benefit of others.  As a cop, and now, I would step in front of a gun to protect someone. You are doing the same thing. 

I'll add: So are your staff. It's just how they are made. 

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Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray 41,745

Posted (edited)

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27 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

I sent this to you in a PM .. but I'll put it here too: 

Wayne, you're a good man. All you can do is operate trying to do the best that you can. 

What happens if you close a site down?  Are your folks given the best protection? 

Choices are hard. Medical people are like cops, or military, they put themselves in harms way for the benefit of others.  As a cop, and now, I would step in front of a gun to protect someone. You are doing the same thing. 

I'll add: So are your staff. It's just how they are made. 

Thanks, Mike.

It's tough when I know and cherish these people. I realize our role in this, and if I could manage our system of clinics and work the lab I would. My boss has already told me that's a last case scenario ... that my current role is too important to risk through exposure at the sites.

That feels so shitty and I hate it. This morning after I spoke to my worker, I told my boss how I felt, and she asked, "Who would do your work if you got sick?" The answer was "Me." I'm sitting at the center of all of our testing/lab staffing/result communication/lab supply tracking efforts. I wrote a list of minimum tasks that need doing daily, approved by her, in case I do get sick. Because, there's no not doing them. It doesn't matter how bad I feel, these things will have to be done, no matter what.

Still. I'm safely away from the front line while I send people there. While I have the bigger picture in mind, and I know why this is necessary, it still feels bad.

Edited by Wayne Gray
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Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray 41,745

Posted

I do want to add ...

I'm so proud of them. I feel such a deep and profound appreciation for what they're doing daily. They're wonderful, brave, and amazing ... and I'm doing my best to support them.

They are the ones doing the work. My job right now is to make sure they can keep doing it as long and as safely as possible.

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Thorn Wilde

Thorn Wilde 26,997

Posted

Your role, and that of the people you work with and manage, is so, so important right now. I'm proud of you.

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Wayne Gray

Wayne Gray 41,745

Posted

8 minutes ago, Thorn Wilde said:

Your role, and that of the people you work with and manage, is so, so important right now. I'm proud of you.

Thanks, Thorn. They're doing the hard stuff, and I'm really proud of them.

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