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Sexual Pacing





Oh yeah, I'm bringing out the dreaded 'S' word for this one! Hehehe, calm down...take a few breaths...and smile for me, k? I won't make it too painful for you to read. Promise. Loosen up a little bit, geez.

Now...I've been writing for over 20 years in the gay erotica genre. And thanks to Myr and the folks at GayAuthors, I KNOW that a vast majority of you guys read the sexy stuff on this site! Polls don't lie! LOL! It was something that I was actually kind of curious about, as trends change and interests vary depending on who's reading the stories on this site. But, as it turns out, sex is still just as popular now as it was when I started. So that's awesome! Hehehe! I love it! It is for me too!

I do understand that a lot of people still have a lot of...well...I don't want to say 'hang ups', when it comes to sex...but I understand that it can be a little awkward for some people to comment on publicly. Even more awkward to write for some authors who get to the naughty parts of their story and suddenly pull all of their punches for fear of being judged for it by their peers. And, of course, there are people who just aren't interested in detailed, graphic, descriptions of sex because they just don't feel the need to. Opinions vary, I suppose. And to each their own.

However, hehehe, when I'm in that 'sexy trance' where I want my characters to get together and strip naked...don't expect me to hold back too much. You will be getting it live and in full color. Believe me! :)

And I enjoy writing those sex scenes, and allowing my past memories mix with my current fantasies to create something truly special between my main character and his love interest. I work hard to make it as hot as I possibly can, but I also try to make these scenes an emotional and erotic experience for everyone involved, and everyone reading. I want my sex scenes to be intimate. Touching. And visceral in the best possible way. I know that there are people who skip over my sex scenes, and that's cool...but I do include a lot of detailed emotional inner dialogue during these scenes as well. An experience that ties in to the rest of the story as a whole.

In the story, "My Only Escape", the main character, Zack, is being penetrated by his dream boy...and he is a victim of horrific domestic abuse. But tied in with the sexual experience, I go out of my way to mention the contrast of being hurt and abused at home with the gentle and sensual plan of having his lover moving in and out of his most private area. The sex takes the spotlight, yes...but if you skipped over the whole thing...you might be missing some of the little intricacies of story that I throw in there to give the story a few extra layers here and there. Hehehe! Don't be afraid to be horny once in a while! It's a good thing!

But this article isn't just about writing sex. It's about sexual pacing. It's about knowing when and where it's necessary to give a drawn out, detailed, description of it all, and when to hold back and maybe give just enough suggestive detailed info to leave it up to your reader's imagination.

Some of you fall into one camp or the other, and that's fine. I, personally, like to dabble in both. Sometimes I just want to 'close the curtains' and mention that my two favorite boys had the afternoon of a lifetime! Hehehe! And other times? It's like...come on in and watch. They like it when you watch. But it depends on the timing and the relationship that you've built up in the story up to that point. I don't really like to make my audience wait TOO long for them to share their first kiss, their first touches, or their first sexual experience. I don't want to give them blue balls if I can help it. But...even though I will admit to loving a few hot 'quickies' from time to time, when it comes to my own writing, I'm not a fan of thrusting two cute boys into bed after the first few paragraphs either. Not unless that was an intentional plot point. But...more on that later...

Let me begin by saying that it can be a bit intimidating for some authors, especially first time authors, to plan out and execute a sexual encounter for their story. I get it. Trust me. But...at the end of the day, you're going to have to toss that awkwardness aside. Get rid of it. At least for a little while.

What are you afraid of? Use 'erotic fiction' as your shield for an hour or two. Don't tell me that you've never thought about all of the things that you would do to that extremely hot guy you saw at the gym, that cute boy that dresses next to you in the locker room, or that pretty model boy that you see on TV or in that new music video. You've thought about it. Hehehe! Well...hold that image in your head. What do you see? What magical scenario have you worked out in the back of your mind where you two get together in a private room and finally spend some time alone. Don't be shy! This is YOUR fantasy, right? Well...what are you seeing right now? What are you thinking about? Describe it for us. You've got an audience to entertain. You're already writing gay erotica. So...who's gonna judge you for making it even hotter than what your audience might be expecting from you?

This is your world. You built it from scratch. What are you getting all squeamish for? Hehehe!

Understand...this isn't my way of saying that all stories have to have super detailed sexual encounters in order to be successful or capture anyone's attention. If that's not the story that you want to tell, and prefer to simply allude to anything sexual in your project, then definitely stick to that and write your story however you want to write it. I think this is more for some of the folks that I've heard from over the years who have purposely shied away from writing anything sexual for fear of being looked down upon, judged, or were just insecure about the idea in general. Because it takes time for a lot of us to open up to sharing our sexual fantasies with complete strangers. As it should be! Hehehe! I'd like to think that we weren't whispering these things to random people on the subway or on the school bus! :P

I think the first step is accepting your 'writing world' as a separate space from everything else in your every day life. Relax. You have total freedom here when it comes to your writing. Just think about "50 Shades Of Grey"! LOL! You can do whatever you want, no harm, no foul! Start off with something simple, and then dig deeper with each additional story or chapter. Get comfortable with your sexual desires. We've been taught to suppress and keep them under lock and key for so long that it takes some work and real effort to unearth them to the point where we can write about it. So don't feel like you have to rush into it. But if there's something that you really REALLY want to write about...then make that your goal and work your way up to writing that particular scene. I don't care if you want to dress up like a circus clown and have a chicken lay an egg on your face while getting a lapdance from a freshly sheered, five legged, sheep and listening to Justin Bieber remixes on repeat! Hehehe, if that's you're thing? Write about it! Why not? You're a creator of worlds when you're writing! Sky's the limit, right? You make the rules. Hehehe! Seriously...somebody out there has been waiting his whole LIFE for that story! Share it with him! Get the email, respond, and find a new friend! There might be a whole chicken egg, sheep lapdance, Bieber, community out there! LOL! Stranger things have happened.

That being said...let's talk pacing...

When I first started writing these stories online, I was heavily influenced by what I had already been reading online on Nifty and a few other places. To the point where I was really worried about posting a first chapter of anything without a really descriptive sex scene included. "New Kid In School", "A Class By Himself", and most other short stories...all had the boys get together and have sex in the first chapter. It wasn't until years later that I began the story, "On The Outside", where that wasn't the case. I was taking a risk, as I kind of saw the whole gay teen erotica genre as a demand to have some sort of 'payoff' before anyone would want to read any further. Understand...there were very few writers even attempting to break that mold at that time, and the few that did inspired me to start writing stories of my own. I just decided that I wanted to be one of them. So huge thanks goes out to those pioneers for giving me the courage to do what I'm doing now. They made all of this madness possible.

The thing is...times have changed. And we kind of live in a 'swipe right' generation right now. Something that I never could have imagined when the Shack first started. Hehehe, I have to say...thank GOD I didn't have this hook up social technology when I was a teenager! Omigod...I can't even imagine what mistakes I would have made! LOL! It's fine for other people, I guess...but I know that I would have gotten myself into a lot of trouble. Dick pics and all. No thank you. :P

When I'm writing, I definitely make an effort to sort of stay in my lane and write teen relationships realistically as I, personally, remember them. That doesn't mean that I was an angel when I was 14 years old or so....HELL no! Hehehe! But there's a balance that can be found in the pacing when it comes to writing stories of my own when it comes to sex. I try to really concentrate on what it was like to be a teenager, horny ALL the fucking time, and just wanting to stick my erection in ANYTHING that would stand still long enough for me to get off! That's how bad it was sometimes. ::Giggles::

What??? I'm being honest here! See? You're still being squeamish! Climb down into the gutter with me for a few minutes! It's not so bad!

Ok ok...let's brighten things up for a little bit. Many of you might have seen this already, but I want to share one of my all time favorite gay boy animations of all time! Top three, definitely! I can totally relate! But, getting back to the 'sexual pacing' idea for your stories...watch this, and remember what it was like to be wide eyed and excited and in love and feeling like..."I WANT HIM!!!!!!! Like NOW!!!! Like...like RIGHT now!!!"


Hehehe, do you guys remember those days? Hell, you might still be going through those feelings now, no matter what age you are. Love is a hell of a drug! :P

But, the thing about this animation (As CUTE as it was!), is that it shows both sides of the kind of sexual pacing that I'm talking about. Of course, there's no sex in it, but this is what I'm talking about. You've got the emotions going haywire, the desperation, the endless craving. The heart is like...I need this boy in my life right NOW! Let's go! Let's go get him!

But...on the other hand...there's fear. There's doubt. There's public ridicule. You can't just run up and kiss him and tell him you're gay and you love him and then go off somewhere to have sex. That's not how these things work. Not when it comes to someone you really care about. There's an excitement and an urgency to chase him down...but there's also a hesitation and a fear of rejection involved. These two emotions are very powerful motivators, but they are in direct conflict with one another.

When it comes to setting up the sexual pacing of your story...USE that. Because that conflict will be much more interesting than the lazy line of, "Wanna fuck?" I mean...if you're trying to keep the word count down to 2000 words or less, I guess it's ok. But anything more meaningful than that? You're wasting your opportunities. I'm just saying.

Look...sex happens. No need to be afraid of it, or intimidated by it. Especially when it comes to horny teenagers, college students, or adults finding their first gay boyfriend. Don't avoid or shy away from that. If writing sex isn't your thing, that's fine. But if you're just sidelining it because you're worried about...I don't know...whatever you might be worried about...DON'T be! K? Find a balance in your story where you feel like a sexual encounter is needed, and follow your instincts.

Don't force it if you don't want to write it. But don't hide from it just because it makes you nervous. The beauty of writing is knowing and finding confidence in the idea that this is your world, and you can make it into whatever you want it to be. Everybody else is just a visitor.

Give them a show that they'll remember.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this little dive into the gutter. Hehehe! It's kinda cool down here, don't you agree? Drop by anytime! I kinda keep my mind in the gutter most of the time anyway. So I'll be around. Happy writing! :)


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  • Site Administrator

"Sex Sells" is definitely still a thing.  (Romance is the largest Genre).  Just reminder to new authors that Gay Authors is also looking for plot :).  Our friends over at Nifty specialize in the Erotic Story Archive space.

But well paced sex scenes certainly appeal to a fairly large portion of our audience.

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Text p0rn is fun, and it has its uses... err I mean place.

Isn't it more fun to see how Sean and Patrick got in the funky hotel waterbed in the first place?


Edited by jamessavik
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Sex will always sell. Many of us girls prefer reading/writing guy on guy boom chicka boom boom. 

As a straight, female ,older (ish), wanna-be-good writer, it's both difficult and easy to write sex scenes.

It's easy because, well, it's sex. 

It's difficult because, well it's  the opposite sex. 

Most of the time it's an important part of the story, helping to establish, build, or tear down a relationship.

In the end, all that matters to me is the hope that my readers enjoy whatever it is my brain conjures up. To each his own and I'm grateful when they like it, and if they don't, that's okay too. 

Great article!


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Everything in the world is about sex — except sex. Sex is about power.

This quote is a little overused but it's so right. Sex lets you reveal so much about your characters and give a deeper meaning to their relations. All the primitive instincts and desires come to the surface and - if well-crafted into a story - they can add a lot more depth to the experience. 

It's also hot as f*ck.

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I think it all depends on the story you want to tell. For some stories, like Circumnavigation, less is more. I love how all of the rich geographic, meteorological, and historical details in the story, but sex and romance takes a backseat. It's just enough to draw a person in, but not get bogged down in the lusty, steamy details.

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