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Feeling a lot better


NickolasJames8

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Ok, I have a little confession to make..........

 

 

I've been depressed ever since we got home from California. I know what it has to do with, and it's really silly, but it still has me feeling bad.

 

For as long as I can remember, we've always gone to the cross at the spot where my mom died and took flowers. When we lived in Cali we did it a lot, and every time we've gone back we've done it too. Well, the last time we went back was for my big papu's memorial, and we didn't go because we didn't have a lot of time. I really wanted to but my dad said we'd go for sure when we came back out.

Well, last week we stopped and got flowers and we drove there, but the cross was gone. I know it's not the end of the world, but I feel like we missed our last chance to go there when we were out there in March. I mean, I know she's not buried there, but it's still symbolic to me for some reason. I feel like what happened there changed the course of my life and the lives of everyone else I love, and now there's nothing there to remember my mom by. Nothing to say, hey, in August of 1991 someones mother, someones daughter and someones girlfriend lost her life right here. Drive carefully.

I thought I'd be okay about it, but the truth is, I feel horrible and dissapointed. I've been sleeping a lot since we came home and my dad got so worried about me that he said I have to be out of bed my 8 in the morning no matter what day it is because he doesn't want me sleeping all day. I'm really trying hard to move on but it's hard.

So I'm sorry to everyone who's been waiting on the next chapter of My Jump Off, What's the Difference or Bodega Bay. I haven't really been in a writing mood, but today I finally sat down and got moving on What's the Difference. Sometimes I think writing that story is thereputic for me because it let's me live some of my memories, the good ones and the bad ones, and it let's me think about my life my families lives too. So I'll probably be working more on that than on My Jump Off for now, but I'll still get another chapter of My Jump Off out by next friday at the latest.

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awwwww Nick, I'm so sorry :hug: . That's not silly or making too big a deal out of it at all! It's completely understandable and normal. That must have been really tough for you :( . I know this might not be the same thing, but is there anyway you could put the cross back? I mean get another one or something.

 

Thanks Kevin....actually, i should have said that the reason it's gone is because they put in an intersection and a stoplight right there that wasn't there the last time. They're building houses so it looks like the roads going to take people to the new neighborhood.

 

I'm so glad you're feeling a little better though, and that's awesome that writing What's the Difference is helping! Take your time and do what you need to do for yourself first. We're all eager for the next updates, but we also want you to be happy!

 

 

yeah, I'm almost done with the chapter, plus, I've made a lot of progress on My Jump Off too, so be expecting that to come out really soon :)

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:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Nick, you know I am older than your dad, but you can always email me. I will always be your friend and try to listen. I know how hard it can be to get over stuff like that. Kevin is right and we all will be there for you. There is nothing to appologize for and definetly no need to worry about us. We are like an extened family because we care about each other. This is a much more down to earth friendly group of people that I have ever run across in this type of setting. Sometimes, you just need a shoulder to lean on or cry, I know I do!

 

Your never alone, so you keep taking care of yourself.

 

Hugs and Kisses

 

Boxerdude :wub:

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