Hmm, it seems like you're worried what your brother will say of you come out. You haven't thought much about this perhaps.

Lucky that you have such caring and nice friends.

Ieshwar

Hey Ronnie

Okay, I know the whole thing that everyone dreams every night, it's just that you don't always remember your dreams. But, I hate having to put that disclaimer everytime I want to say, "I dreamed last night," or "I had a dream last night," so for now on, if I say one of those two, everyone know that I know that already... Kay.

LOL, I'll definitely keep that in mind when you say those things!

Recently, I've felt really inspired to come out to some of my close friends. And that means like almost everyone in drama.

Drama people probably are a pretty good demographic to come out to.

However, a few of my brother's aquaitences are in drama. I say aquaitences because he kind of disowns them as friends if they are in drama.

awww, that's sucks!

Anyway, like Jacob and Danie, the two openly gay guys who graduated this year, I'd like to become pretty much openly gay...I know it's a big step for someone who is only out to another gay guy, but I feel comfortable with myself and really don't care if other people don't accept it. I'm going to be a big advocate for gay rights someday because I get so riled up everytime I see discrimination or hear about it. And my feelings are kind of hard to explain....I've become more comfortable with myself...I'm not like I used to be, where I thought people were going to point and laugh and make fun of me for every little thing. I think it was being able to see how much some of my close friends cared and got, to be frank, pissed off on the Day of Silence when people mistreated them and everyone who wore a t-shirt, learning how it was to grow up as a gay teen, having to deal with that discrimination and mental and verbal abuse on a daily basis. It was really comforting, seeing my friends get outraged and wanting to get out there to make a difference. Hah...I got sidetracked.

That is SO awesome! I'm so proud of you and your friends

So if I were to come out to my drama friends...word would get around...to my brothers aquaitences....and eventually he would be told that I was gay...and would eventually tell my mom and dad. Another thing is that he might go around and tell everyone. But then again he might not....would he really want to be known as the guy with the gay brother? Prolly not...it would endanger his "reputation."

I think you're probably right about him not spreading the word if he wasn't cool with it, and of course if he was cool with it then he'd probably be understanding enough not to tell people that you didn't want to know (like your parents).

And it was kinda cool, yet kind of upsetting. I was like on a trip or tour or something with various people from school, some I knew, some I didn't. But there were couples holding hands wherever we went, and apparently I had a boyfriend. And we didn't care what others thought, so we held hands too. But one of the big debaters that I knew in like 5th grade was on the trip. My brother is also a big debater. The guy like came up to me and was like, "You're gay?" with an eyebrow up and stuff, and I kind of scoffed him away and yeah. And there was like another gay couple but I couldn't identify them. But I remember almost everyone not caring...like no one was staring at us or anything...the only real upsetting part was knowing that someone who knew my brother knew I was gay. And you know what the worst part of the dream was!?? I don't know who my boyfriend was! I don't remember one physical feature about him! All I remember was that we felt comfortable enough to hold hands. Stupid unconsciousness. I better remember who it is the next time I have a boyfriend in my dreams.

That does sound like a cool dream! I bet it'll totally be a "dream come true" for you one day too (the part about casually holding your bf's hand and no one caring that is. LOL, not the part about being confronted by big debaters).

Anyway it sounds to me like your dream is obviously indicative of your feelings in general. You want to be out, to be yourself, etc. And you think that you stand a pretty good chance of being accepted. However, you're still afraid of how people in your family will react and your brother (or more specifically people that know him and might tell him) are kind of the tangible representation of that fear.

I'd also say that there's a reason you don't remember who your bf was or what he looked like: it wasn't really relevant. To me it sounds like this dream wasn't about having a boyfriend or being in love or anything, it was about being out and accepted and also the fear associated with that. Your boyfriend was only a necessarily part of the dream at all insofar as you had to have a boyfriend and thus be obviously out for the dream to "work".

Just my opinions though.

As for what you ought to do...No idea

It sucks that you're ready to be out to some people in your life and not others, and I really wish I could help you, but I totally don't have any useful advice.

Good luck though I hope it all works out

Kevin