Well, I've had it.

I tried being a hostler. Honest, I tried, but 58 year old bodies cannot pretend they're only 35, which is bad.

I tried delivering groceries, but that was just as physical, plus the joys of pulling doubles through a city, which is bad.

So, starting Thursday I'm back to long haul; or, as they call it in my new company, line haul, which is good.

Up and down the I-5 corridor, which is kinda good.

Supposedly, I'll be home every week, which is good. Also, I'll be making 3 cents more per mile than my previous company, which is good.

But, I'll be away from home for a week at a time, which is kind of bad. :wacko:

But, I don't do well at home, which is bad.

So, I'm going away for a little bit of time, which is good.

I'll miss Bonita and she'll miss me, which is bad.

The wife will miss me, but I won't miss her, which is a wash.

Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad, etc., etc., etc., etc.

On the other hand, I will have more time to write, which is very, very good.

The Pastel Cowboy is coming to an end, so soon it'll be time to think of something new. I have lots of possibilities, so I'll need time to consider each and every one. I'll have time running up and down I-5, which is good.

So? Why am I so f**king depressed?

Because you're in a down cycle and it's only going to get worse until you hit bottom and bounce back up, stupid!

You know, I hate this. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

F**k! F**k! F**k!

F**k!