You have to do what you need to. Being happy with yourself is the first step. If they are your true friends they will accept this and go on...if not then they will have to just let it go and do what they need to.

I am not a very religious person but I have no problem with those who are. That is there choice. We all go down different roads to get where we need to be in life.

Just stay true to you and T.

Don't apologize for your faith, or for that not being the thing we want to hear. Don't you think that contradicts, very much in fact, your assertion that you're going to be yourself and not worry about facades in the future?

As for me, I'm not surprised at all. Many people who go through trying physical/emotional experiences seek solace and more closeness with God, or their concept of him/her/it. Just be careful not to internalize the condemnation of homosexuals that many churches espouse: for you that would mean self-loathing, and that's a really scary place to go.

It's your life, live it how you want.

I'm glad to hear that you've gained a renewed sense of identity, I know that's hard to maintain. It's especially good that you know you can be honest about yourself and that you don't have to fit into a box just because of your sexuality, religion, or whatever. It's interesting just how much I can relate to you when it's also obvious we couldn't be more different from one another.

Well I think that's the most awesome thing I've heard all day. And I very much WANTED to hear something like that. As a gay Christian myself I know it's not always easy to comfortably live both roles, often times each lifestyle can seem negatively inclined to the other. But in my heart I feel that God created us the way we are, and loves us the way we are. In fact I think I even found your post pretty inspirational, just today a few hours ago I was thinking I"d been "drifting away" a bit and needed to work on that. And hearing you talking about moving forward in your relationship by growing in the Holy Spirit, was definitely inspiring. You seem like a very lucky person, Nick, as well as a very good person. I wish you the best and am glad for you in that you seem to have a very healthy relationship with your boyfriend, and with God. Who could ask for more? :-). Take care and be happy.

Blogs like these make it hard sometimes. I tried to find God, I tried to open my heart to him not long ago, and he left me empty from beginning to end. I couldn't feel the happiness that I saw others showing, but more than that, I felt alone for wanting what others had. I envy your journey Nickolas and hope that you and the b/f can find what you are looking for together.

:king: Snow Dog