My mother told me something extremely interesting and more than just a little hilarious today. As you all well know, I do not like my sperm-donor. Well, karma has bitten him squarely upon the ass, and it made me giggle.

He was robbed recently.

He was at work (offshore) and his wife was not home.

They took EVERYTHING. A few items missing:

-.45 pistol

-Big screen TV

-Computers

-500 dollars in cash

-Checks

Every drawer was up-ended. Every cabinet was raked bare. No nook nor cranny was left unsearched.

"Now Jamie," you may say, "that is not funny at all. You may not like him, but he's still a person (and a person's a person, no matter how small! Get it? Dick joke a la Dr. Seuss, muahahahahahaha!). It's just not cool that you're laughing at his misfortune!"

You would be right in this, for it is immoral to giggle at another's misfortune. At least, most people would say this. I, however, have a fairly developed sense of JUSTICE, in that if one perpetrates acts against others, then one deserves some sort of retribution. Usually I refrain, since I view retribution as harming myself at least as much as I harm the person who wronged me.

That don't make a f**K when it comes to someone else doing it for me, though, LMGDAO.

He had 500 bucks stashed. Where was that money when my little sister was sick? Where was it when he knew things were tight for us? Hmmm? Sitting under a .45 pistol, and now both of 'em got JACKED, bitch!

Where was he from the time I was eleven onward? Where was he when my little siblings were growing up without a dad? Where was he when my older sister needed help financially? Oh, wait, she did call him, and he basically told her f**K you. THAT'S where he was. Aaahhhh.... yup.

Therefore, with all of the evidence collected in favor of the theory that he is indeed a worthless, scummy, closeted and homophobic homosexual, dirty, low-down, yellow (no, serious, his liver's gonna fail any day now), asshole excuse of a human being....

I get great pleasure out of knowing that, though I have refrained from doing anything mean to him, the universe has forced him to reap a tiny amount of what he has sown. That is all. Now, I'm going to giggle more. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!