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Dates, Tickets, Counciling, and Parties



A brief recount of my weekend and week thus far:


All last week Luke kept pestering me about not spending enough time with him (he's clingy...and I occasionally make long posts). So we agree to meet up Friday night. So I'm tired Friday night, but I fix myself up and get ready anyway, wouldn't be fair to cancel on him right? WELL, I call him, right on time mind you, and he announces that he's gone off to the movies with Scott, John, and another guy. Based on the way he explained it, I readily deduced that it was actually a sort of bitter, revenge thing because I've been so busy all week and not had any time for him.


You'd think I'd be angry right? You'd be wrong. I didn't particularly care at all. Anyway, I contemplated having a nice quiet night in (which I'd have really enjoyed), but ultimately opted to make plans with a guy I've been talking to for a little impromptu date (which was also quite fun).


His name is Michael. He's a rich, Wiccan, ex-model, California boy, who's also quite well-traveled...all that and he's still a bit younger than me! Anyway, needless to say he's led a fascinating life. He was also well-cultured, well-informed, and able to hold an intelligent conversation. You'd think I'd be interested eh? Nope again. I think it's because he primarily seems to be looking for a serious, fairly long-term, but impermanent relationship. I on the other hand would be happy with either a casual, light relationship OR beginning gradually working up to a serious, committed, ostensibly permanent relationship. But serious and temporary doesn't really fly with me. Seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Apart from which I really don't have time for a relationship, not a serious one anyway. Things are just way too busy. Considering I'm the sort of person who never gets bored no matter how calm, and uneventful things get, and who instead really likes and needs a good bit of that in his life, you can understand why I'm so tired and stress. Adding a serious boyfriend - whom I shouldn't rationally expect to be with on a very long-term basis - just isn't top of my list of things to do.


Nevertheless, I liked him and he was interesting. So I'll call him again sometime to do something as friends. Speaking of friends that brings us to Saturday. A friend of mine - Adam, haven't mentioned him before here - is moving away soon. So he had a going away party at his house. Oh my gosh it was so fun! Scott, Luke, and I all went plus a bunch of other people obviously.


Interestingly - though hardly surprising - Scott informed that he tried to get a hold of me the night before (which he did I had the missed call, but he was already in the movie and couldn't answer when I returned it). Evidently Luke tried to stop him. He said, "Oh Kevin said he wouldn't be able to make it tonight." Big liar! I knew he was doing the bitter "I'm mad at you so I'm going to make plans with you then purposely keep you out" thing. Scott was really pissed, far more than me actually. But then Scott's always more pissed at Luke than I am these days. Anyway, more on Luke later.


I had the most awesome time at the party! I just love Adam's boyfriend Sean! He's the coolest! He's gorgeous for one thing, but he could look like hell and still be fun to be around with the personality he's got going. He's extremely witty, quite camp, obscenely cheerful, freakishly nice, and incredibly friendly. But none of that is irritating! He also happens to be very intelligent and well-educated. All that he's also, at least from what I can tell, a really terrific boyfriend to Adam which makes Scott and I very happy indeed (Luke considerably less so since he himself was interested in Adam).


Apart from the joys of time with Adam and Sean (which as I said are quite jubilant anyway), we also make several new friends. Most notably a delightfully sweat couple. One of them is out-going and friendly, the other is nice but shy. It's adorable because they both look like straight guys. I mean, my gaydar - which is quite well-developed - might miss them if I didn't know (and if they weren't cuddling as they're apt to do). Now obviously, as I've said many times, I don't have much of a fascination with straight guys, so the 'straight acting' gay really isn't my thing. Indeed I still wasn't attracted to them at all, but I still thought it was just frickin' adorable because it looked like two straight guys cuddling and sitting on each other's laps. It was just really cute :wub:


Anyway, then we all went clubbing, sans Luke who went home early [begin bitch mood] which actually rather pleased Scott and I [end bitch mode]. For once we were able to get Scott dancing on the raised platform areas they have - which I think is just way more fun. So we had a delightful time.


Sunday crazy busy as well. First we (Scott, Luke, and I) had our Sunday school class. As I've said many times I belong to a very liberal United Methodist Congregation. We've been doing a discussion series on 'controversial topics' and Sunday's was homosexuality. Needless to say the three of us, plus the other gay members of the class (there's about 4 or 5 others that regularly go and a smaller handful that occasionally go), were really looking forward to this discussion. It was really nice. No one said anything homophobic and everyone seemed to support acceptance and equal rights for gays in the church :)


LOL, naturally Scott and I were quite outspoken, which actually led me to speculate later that perhaps some of the other members of our class may indeed have been slightly uncomfortable or conservative on the topic but didn't feel comfortable voicing their opinion given the presence of such a relatively large contingent of gays and gay-affirming allies. Scott said this was nonsense. I hope he's right. Either way though, good discussion and even though I've never really struggled with my faith and sexuality it's nice to see that so many others - especially straights - don't see a conflict with it either. Anyway, then we had service then our class met back up and went to lunch (as we do every week). It was delicious by the way! I'd never been to the restaurant but it was awesome and I really had fun.


Then Scott and I went to get our hair and eyebrows done. The results were also very satisfactory as far as we're concerned, lol :)


We'd planned to go shopping afterwards, but right as we were finishing up William called us so we met up with him and had some drinks and caught up. He told us all about his new boyfriend...whom he's already having trouble with, but that's William for you. :/


Anyway, I really love that guy! He's just an awesome person and it was so much fun the three of us hanging out like old times. Between mine and his frantically busy schedules it's been difficult to get together. Apart from which since he and Scott are no longer roommates AND since he now actually lives in a fairly remote part of the city, we just don't all get to hang out much anymore (whereas that's practically all we did before they both moved lol). So yeah, great times! We went to Ikea and critiqued the various furniture and housewares (and each other's taste :lol: ). Yep, good times.


Next I took Scott home where of course we met up with Luke, and coincidentally FF (former friend). That's when things got a bit...interesting. Scott's been convinced that Luke is spying on all of us, getting personal information, and perhaps having us watched. This bothers Scott considerably. I'm not as upset as one might thing. I've actually kinda always thought that was a very good possibility and it fits with his personality. So it's just sorta old news to me. I don't think he does it that much. I don't have anything to hide, and I don't think he's at all dangerous. He's just really insecure, paranoid, clingy, and more than a little obsessive.


Anyway, we were hanging out and Luke made a remark about one of my bills which he really shouldn't have had the knowledge to make. I don't really discuss my bills with my friends, and in any case I knew I hadn't discussed it with Luke. I was going to let it pass. Scott wasn't. He confronted Luke about the whole thing and started to go off on him. Naturally Luke got defensive.


At this point FF suggested that the two of them take this opportunity to clear the air and discuss their problems while there were two other people present to keep things from getting too heated or personal. Obviously I know a good bit about psychology (what with it being my degree and all), and so does FF since he's spent so many years in therapy (I really don't mean that as a caustic remark at all. He honestly is very knowledgeable about how effective discussion and conflict resolution should take place).


So I actually think it helped alot. They got a lot of their stuff out and they were able to discuss it pretty well. I got an amusing sensation of being a therapist at one point too. FF had gone back inside. It was just after sunset and we were reclining on the lounge chairs by the pool (as I said, I wouldn't get in the pool, and if it hadn't been dark I probably wouldn't have been near it, but since it was it was actually quite pleasant). Anyway at one point Scott finished saying something fairly significant and they were both quite. So I turned to Luke (I was on the chair in the middle) and said, "And how do you feel about that, Luke?" LOL, I just realized it was like the classic couple's therapist line. Worked though, Luke proceeded and they talked out a bunch of stuff.


The only real drawback is that since Luke and Scott's relationship was in much more trouble than mine and Luke's, and since I therefore needed to let them focus on their stuff and just be neutral, I didn't get a chance to talk to Luke about any of our stuff, and that would have been a bit nice as well. I was also struck with the irony that for the first several minutes FF and I were clamming them down and getting them to effectively communicate whereas several months ago it would have been very fitting for them to have been doing that to/for us. Interestingly for all our vaunted communication skills FF and I never have discussed our issues since the friendship first ended.


So that was my busy weekend. Monday I got a ticket from a cop for running a stop sign. Which I did, but I did it knowingly and carefully. It was a rolling stop deal and no one was coming. My approach to traffic laws is that they should only be obeyed when they make sense and a relevant. So when visibility is such that no one is clearly coming I really do feel perfectly free to run stop signs and red lights. I pride myself on my intellectual, reasoned approach to morals and ethics and quite clearly there's no rational reason to sit there and wait when no one is in the area. It does no good and does moderate harm (delaying me, burning ever slightly more fuel, potentially causing traffic bottlenecks if people come up behind me, etc). Anyway, the frickin cop was just really rude. Totally irritated me! And the ticket is outrageous! :angry:


Interestingly, I suspect that most people, particularly people in there early 20s, would be more apt to turn to their friends for solace and not mention it to their mother. Not me though. I knew I could count on mom to commiserate and expect only lectures and gentle reproach from the rest of my friends. Thus, I've decided not to tell them, but I promptly called up my mom and vented!


Monday night I actually had another sorta date. Blah, it's complicated. Wasn't as interested in this one. May also hang with him again as friends though. Can't have too many friends right? Actually, I almost feel as though I do. I have so many friends whom I feel like I have obligations too now...ugh, it's just a bit overwhelming. And don't get me wrong, I'm crazy about them and feel very lucky...it's just I need more personal time alone.


Anyway, I'm off to bed. On a final note I'm also very busy with school and work so in all likelihood I won't be around quite as much, and certainly won't be as prolific, for the next couple of weeks (more like three probably - till my current class ends).


Take care all


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