Do you ever have one of those moments where you step back, look at your life, and realize that you really have shit to show for it?

I'm having one of those moments, big time.

1.) School:

-My grades have fallen. This semester was awful, worst yet. Two A's, a C, and an F.

-Good news is I'll be a research assistant next semester for Dr. Zeigler-Hill, who's actually interested in things that tie into my own interests. Assuming nothing insane happens, he should be a seriously useful resource for me, especially when it comes time to apply to grad school.

2.) Finances:

-I have like, negative five hundred dollars right now, lol. I'm so poor, I'm starting to wonder how the f**K I'm ever going to get anything accomplished. I need a rich relative, and I need them to kick the bucket, pronto. Speaking of which, this lucky bastard my roomie's dating just had a relative he'd only met once leave him a little over eighteen grand. Thanks, God, I appreciate you letting me see the people around me get lucky breaks and letting me keep wading through shit, you imaginary bastard.

-Christmas isn't happening this year. My present? A new phone after a year and a half of dealing with the piece of shit one. I bought myself a new one because the old one stopped charging. My mom's struggling to make ends meet more than ever, she's living in a trailer yet again, and to top it all off she's taking care of a kid who she can't even claim on her income tax and isn't getting any support from the people who SHOULD be taking care of the girl. She's got three hundred dollars to make Christmas happen, which is why I say that shit just ain't gonna happen this year. Oh, and my little sister? Bipolar as the day is long, and so f**king looneytunes I can't help but wanna beat the holy shit outta her almost every time I see her because her very existence means that my mom has to put up with more than anyone ever should, and dish out even more money that she doesn't have to take her to see a shrink who doesn't have a f**king clue what he's talking about and prescribes Strattera of all things. Mentally ill or not, I don't give a f**K. Grow the hell up a little and quit being such a f**king burden.

-Every time I think things might be getting better, they end up twice as bad as before. I'm sick of it.

-By the way, I hate my job. I really, really HATE my job.

3.) Friends

-I have two that I enjoy being around. If not for Marti and Liz, I would just go off the deep end.

-I switched roommates at the beginning of the semester. This neurotic prick that I live with now is driving me batty. I swear before Bugs Bunny, I can't WAIT for an opportunity to f**K his world up. Allan is his name, and I've done more for him than I ever should've. He's gotta be one of the bitchiest, most unappreciative, annoying little cocksuckers I've ever had the misfortune to meet. I'm going to rub fiberglass insulation in his underwear before I leave for the break. Take that, bitch. I dare him to complain about the surgery he's having on his leg during the break. I WILL tell him exactly what I think; that he needs to shut the f**K up complaining about his goddamn leg all the time because HE is the one who crashed his f**king car into a wall, ON PURPOSE, because he couldn't quit being such a little queer pansy-assed bitch and stand up for himself. "Everything's so hard because my parents are religious and I'm gaaaaay, waaaaaah!!" SHUT THE f**K UP AND DEAL WITH IT, YOU STUPID c**t OF AN ASS-PIRATE!!

-Paul Gates can go f**K himself. Piece of shit.

-If I have one more encounter with a person who isn't worth the air they suck up, I really am going to beat the holy f**K out of them.

4.) Family

-My memaw is insane. 'Nuff said.

-My grandmother... take your religion and shove it in your c**t, I don't want anything to do with your imaginary friend. By the way, guess what? It IS your fault that your son is a drunken bastard. If my theory's correct, you get all the credit for that one. Thankfully, MY mother isn't anywhere NEAR your level of bitch. Go suck a dick.

-My older sister; GET A REAL MOTHERf**kING JOB, AND QUIT BEING A DUMB c**t!

-Little sister; quit being a crazy bitch, shut the f**K up, and be thankful your mother loves you because if I were her I'd have had you committed a long f**king time ago.

-My aunt; if you want to do drugs, use your own money to do it and quit failing so hard at life.

-Little siblings; you don't know how good you f**king have it. You might not have all the shit you want, but you don't live with an alcoholic, and you've never had to worry about half the shit I put up with when I was your age. Grow up.

So I'm a little bitter. You get that way after a while of putting up with dumbassery. I'm on vacation starting Friday. I'm gonna go home, and I'm going to do as much as possible around the house for my mom. On the 28th, I'm getting on a plane and getting the f**K out of here for a week. I'm going to relax, and spend time with someone who doesn't drive me up a f**king wall. When I get back, I'm focusing on myself. f**K everyone else. I'm not going to feel bad about neglecting anyone, about telling people no, about a goddamn thing. I'm gonna spend my time working and focusing on school, and start letting people know exactly what I think of them.

I'm done being nice, and I'm done going without or going out of my way for people who would never do the same for me.

Well, I feel better now. Now that I'm done ranting... I'm so excited about the break!!!!! It's gonna be so much fun, and I can't wait to go see my friend!!

Note: this blog requires no comments, really. No one likes hearing anyone else's ranting, and I'd really rather you spend the minute or two you'd take typing a comment doing something fun or fulfilling. I would also say that I'm sorry for neglecting GA, but I'm not. I was serious about not feeling bad about neglecting people/telling people no/refusing to sacrifice for people. Love you guys, and I heart GA, but I've been busy. Seezya.