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This is not good.


GREEN

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I woke up this morning, I made breakfast and I called Selene and Chaz over. When They walked in they immediately noticed that Julio and his stuff were gone. "What happened?" Selene asked. "Did you guys break up?"

 

I tell them whole story as selene gets angry. Chaz however doesn't say anything. He doesn't even look at me. Selene is angry not only with Julio but with me for not telling her. I gtried to explain what happened to her and how I felt like a jerk for asking them to give me some space, but she wasn't having it. I guess it hurt her that I didn't tell her.

 

Then there was Chaz who still hadn't said anything and I asked him why but he just picked up his book bag and left. I followed him out and I tried to stop him but he just shrugged me away. He got into his car and drove away. Selene came out a few minutes later and yelled at me some more.

 

"Stop it Selene," I said and stormed into my house once again.

 

"He likes you and your stupid if you let him go," she said.

 

"Selene I don't have those type of feelings for him," I said. Then I explained to her why but once again stubborn Selene wasn't having it. She walked over to me and put her finger on my forehead and then tapped on it.

 

"Now you stop it. How are you ever going to know if you like him back if you don't give him a chance," She said. "Look why do you think he hangs out with you all the time huh?"

 

"The truth is that I really don't have those feelings for him. Chaz is a great guy, no doubt about that but he and I will never have anything beyond friend ship even if he's mad at me right now. I don't get with my friends for the same reason that I do not play cupid," I tell Selene.

 

"You are making a mistake this time Green," She said, leaving me to think about her words.

 

David Came by a few minutes later and I talked to him about it. Rob also came by and we all talked for an hour when Chaz walked into my house again. He appologized for leaving and sat down with us. I recounted the whole story and I told them about my little day long trip. They all gave me what I needed not advice but words of encouragement.

 

David left for class and so did Rob. So I was left alone with Chaz who seemed nervous. OH NO not again I thought. So I decided to tell him how I felt about him and how I thought that we should just be friends. I kept giving him reason after reason when I realized that maybe there was something there. I tried to ignore it but I now know that I did feel it. I began to see things that I hadn't noticed before like the way he taps on the table when he's nervous.

 

So I panicked and I told him that I had to go. I just wanted him to leave so I could think and get my head straight. So now I don't know what or how to face Selene.

 

GREEN crap I don't know.

3 Comments


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First off, I'm glad you talked with Julio. He's the only one who could tell you what was going on with him. That was the only way you could come to terms with him, and he with you. I hope the parting was not inimical if it wasn't amicable.

 

As to Chaz, whatever you may or may not feel for him (and one of the potential lessons from the Julio epoch is to be honest and open about your feelings, at least to yourself), less than a week on the rebound is not a good time to be starting another relationship. There's an artificial intensity to what you're feeling now. That's something everyone can understand.

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Okay Green,

 

Well, I think that it's definitely okay to take some time to figure out how you feel... maybe you are just so used to denying any feelings that you might have for Chaz or that he might have for you because it was the right thing to do before, that you are having trouble allowing yourself to feel those feelings now. Besides, it is totally understandable not to want to rush into something right away.

 

Selene will understand that you can change your mind or be confused, she sounds like a good friend. One that can tell you like it is and not worry that you can't handle the truth. You can always count on someone like that to be there for you and support you.

 

Glad to hear that you are doing some better guy...

 

Hugs, Viv

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Bonobo's right -- starting anything now (or, alternately, deciding for sure not to start something now) is a mistake. Things are going to be too raw to really know how you feel, or to honestly get a relationship going to know how you and Chaz could do together. I'd tell him that too -- tell him you need a few weeks (or however long you need) for the pain to die down and for you to get your feet back under you before you'd even consider starting another relationship. It sounds like, for better or worse, he'd wait, so if he's someone worth waiting for he'll be there. (And if he's someone you don't want to wait for you once things have calmed down you should try and make it clear then, if you can)

 

Probably the easiest way to handle Selene is to find her, give her a big kiss and tell her she was dead-on correct. Then, in the thirty seconds of stunned silence, I'd tell her you were taking time off of romance to let the pain die. You should still have enough time to run like hell before she chases you down and tries to kill you. :)

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