Losing Myself

[Menzoberranzen]

Losing Myself

You walked into the room

and my jaw dropped

I pushed my boyfriend to the side,

and chased you down

The months dragged on; the novelty wore off

You dropped the fa

[Jason Rimbaud]

Menzo,

 

I found myself reading this piece over and over. The imagery is quite stark, but yet, filled with an explosion of emotion as well. I think most of us can identify with this type of relationship. I look back on my life and sometimes wonder how I could be so blind. Which brings me to one reason why this piece doesn't completely work for me.

 

Early on, you state

 

"The months dragged on; the novelty wore off

You dropped the facade, but I was too blind to see"

 

You contradict yourself a few stanza's later by saying,

 

"I saw what the world didn

[Menzoberranzen]

Menzo,

 

I found myself reading this piece over and over. The imagery is quite stark, but yet, filled with an explosion of emotion as well. I think most of us can identify with this type of relationship. I look back on my life and sometimes wonder how I could be so blind. Which brings me to one reason why this piece doesn't completely work for me.

 

Early on, you state

 

"The months dragged on; the novelty wore off

You dropped the facade, but I was too blind to see"

 

You contradict yourself a few stanza's later by saying,

 

"I saw what the world didn't

I saw the hatred, the caprice, the vanity

I saw you demean, belittle and patronize me

And I looked up at you with adoration

 

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but to my limited understanding, this actually takes away from the power of this piece for me.

 

As the norm, we never see what the world see's. We do look on in adoration, like looking through rose tinted glasses. We don't see the faults that others do, like friends or family. It normally takes something profound, like cheating, violence, or mental abuse, for us to finally get the hint that this guy is bad news.

 

Beside this small problem, I really like this piece. Because in the end, it's only after we lose ourselves that we find the strength to stand up and find our way.

 

As usual, with each piece I read from you, only makes me want to sit down and have a chat with you. I see so much of myself in your words. Brilliant.

 

Jason R.

 

PS: Do you do re-writes on your poetry or do you write it in the moment and leave it as is?

 

Re: the contradiction

 

I tried to imply at the end of the second stanza you quoted that I saw, but it didn't matter. So yes, it was a contradiction, but I wanted to show that seeing didn't affect my overall image of him.

 

I re-write some poetry, and some I don't even fix spelling errors. I re-wrote this one a few times, but the one I wrote for the Fall Anthology was completely spontaneous.

 

Menzo

[AFriendlyFace]

This is excellent, and quite sad! My favourite part was the last line:

 

You lost me, and I found myself

 

Excellent!

 

 

Early on, you state

 

"The months dragged on; the novelty wore off

You dropped the facade, but I was too blind to see"

 

You contradict yourself a few stanza's later by saying,

 

"I saw what the world didn