(Married) with Children...?

[GaryK]

Well I don't think this question is off-topic since it deals with adoptions laws. Why would need to adopt him after he turns 18? Just for various legal reasons regarding estate, inheritance, and/or next of kin? I was only vaguely aware that it was even possible to adopt someone of majority age (I think I knew that, but I could have been convinced otherwise pretty easily).

You nailed it Kevin.

 

My sister and brother-in-law are well off so they don't need my estate which is not insubstantial. They know what my intentions are and they're fine with them. Even though there will be Living Trust and several ancillary trust funds established I want to ensure there will be no hassles once I'm dead.

[Daisy]

I also want two kids ideally, but am willing to have as few as one or as many as three. I want at least one and failing some sort of twin situation or a death which results in my guardianship I'll stop at three for sure (and probably only go up to three if my partner wants more than two. If I'm a single parent I'll probably stop at one.).

 

 

Right, I agree. That's why I said I'd be hesitant to utilize the surrogate mother option.

Kevin

 

I'm one of 3. I think when I have kids (somewhere off in the future...) I will have at least 3. Its great being part of a bigger family, its more sociable and fun for the children, or at least thats whats happened for me. and when I compare it to only childs I know and even 2 sibling families I feel that even more. My mum wanted 4 but couldnt as she had been one of 4 and loved it too. Will be more work for me though , but by then I'm hoping I love all aspects of it. Deep down I would like a genetic child, but I also know its not necessary for love, but for some reason I just do. I hadnt even thought of having kids outside of a relationship (initially at least), but if time goes by and I'm not in a serious relationship then I may consider having a child by myself (financial support permitting) by adoption maybe. My first priority then is finding someone to have children with

 

 

 

Goodluck Gary with the adoption process.

 

Celia

[GaryK]

Goodluck Gary with the adoption process.

Thanks Celia. I hope you eventually get all the children you want.

[Daisy]

Thanks Celia. I hope you eventually get all the children you want.

 

Thanks . My gran told me she really wanted to run a foster/adoption sort of home in the country. Its a shame she didnt actually do that, she revealed that to me a year ago, made me think about it alot. She had 4 kids (inc my mum), but they had foster children staying with them all the time, I think my mum is still in contact with some of them. They were usually the more 'trouble' ones, but basically been neglected/ misunderstood. She was a nurse and headteacher at some special school, sigh, I can't remember the details, I'm going to ask her next time I see her this weekend, she's got pnemonia (but recovering) plus this topic reminds me time and family is precious. but some of that school/some project was about giving those type of kids a chance and believing in them, well that was her mission while she was there. but our family (with my mum) has always been like that too. there hasnt really been a period of time when somebody hasnt been staying with us, or depending on us greatly in a family type of sense, which my mum has welcomed and actively encouraged. Its kind of built into me now, I can't imagine a household thats not like that, thats not an open place for everyone, its how I kind of operate. the sad part is that people have taken advantage sometimes, for my mum's health its about knowing where's the line sometimes. but in essence thats what my family/home will be about no matter how many genetic children I may or may not have.

 

Celia

Edited June 15, 2008 by Smarties

[GaryK]

There will always be those who take advantage. For many of them it's the only way of life they know. They've been taken advantage of so much that it almost seems normal to them. I hope your mom recovers soon. I had a bad bout of pneumonia a couple of months ago that took over a month to recover from. Make sure she listens to her doctors and does everything they tell her to do. Especially respiratory therapy.

[Daisy]

There will always be those who take advantage. For many of them it's the only way of life they know. They've been taken advantage of so much that it almost seems normal to them. I hope your mom recovers soon. I had a bad bout of pneumonia a couple of months ago that took over a month to recover from. Make sure she listens to her doctors and does everything they tell her to do. Especially respiratory therapy.

 

Thanks for the advice. Its my gran not my mum who has pneumonia (and who was the nurse/headteacher) if I wasnt very clear . All of my 3 aunts/uncles and my mum (who are all GP's) are all looking after her and making her follow strict orders (as much as is possible with her now she's getting abit of strength back - she's a fiesty lady ), but I'll mention the respiratory therapy and see what they say. but if you were referring to my mum from some of my posts elsewhere she too is recovering (from acute depression) and doing well . Hope that you are back to fullstrength - a month is ages to be ill like that. but off-topic sorry everyone .

 

Celia

Edited June 16, 2008 by Smarties

[rknapp]

"Love in a marriage, love in a marriage

Go together like a horse and carriage..."

 

Wait, we weren't talking about the TV show?

[JamesSavik]

First you want to get married.

 

Now you want kids.

 

You guys are going to completely and totally screw up being gay.

[Razor]

First you want to get married.

 

Now you want kids.

 

You guys are going to completely and totally screw up being gay.

 

LMFAO, James, I love you so much. Thing is I'd have chosen being straight over being gay, given the choice. Would've made things a lot easier for me and truthfully it's really likely I'd be married now, though definitely not have children.

[yukibi]

I really don't care blood children or adopted children .

Just think it would be much happier and funnier if there were a child in the familly :2hands: :ranger: . Otherwise, raising a child together would tighten the relation beetween parents

[AFriendlyFace]

LMFAO, James, I love you so much. Thing is I'd have chosen being straight over being gay, given the choice. Would've made things a lot easier for me and truthfully it's really likely I'd be married now, though definitely not have children.

*gasp*

 

**picks jaw up off floor**

 

Oh Jamie! But you're so good at being gay! No offense but I can't imagine you straight!

 

I thought we were united on thinking straight boys were weird!?

 

 

-Kevin

[Former Member]

Yes Kevin straight boys are weird they have cooties!

 

Hmmm (Married) with Children?? *already i leave the word Married in brackets makes it sound more hypothetical and that it never will happen)... A friend of mine told me once that they see me as being the kind of gay living on a island and having like a cottage and my 2 children playing in the backyard.(Must be a fantasy island) the thought made me smile though.

 

I dunno i just never really see kids coming into the picture.*mind you i am single now and thats just like i never see marriage coming into the picture though its legal in my province* Deep down i think its because every one in my family has been divorced. The only people in my family who haven't is one set of grandparents they were married for 48 years and then gramps died. Grandma told me later that they all weren't happy years... So i REALLY cant see me marrying. Or if i do i'd have to have a prenup or some form of security. The man i marry will so hate me for this idea. If i ever marry. This may also be from my thinking that a ring on my finger means they own me! That they bought me.(i'm odd i know).

 

2.5 kids and the white picket fence. I dunno. My Black Wrought iron fence fits just fine. (Anita Blake told that to Richard the werewolf when he wants this whole 2 kids human wife dream) A very small part of me already has 2 names for if i have a girl and 2 names if there was a boy and this is totally if the partner lets me name the children.

 

Maybe this also is because i didnt have the typical wonderful childhood with my father. Example's Dad playing baseball with son in the backyard. Nope my dad was the abusive alcholic(still is the alcholic) thankfully i dont live with him anymore and haven't since i turned 16 and moved in with my aunt. Thankfully too mom woke up and got a divorce. Dad NEVER says I Love You unless he is drunk then i just roll my eyes. Our phone conversations are maybe once a month and we only talk for maybe 5 minutes then he has to go. Dad thinks i hate him and a part of me does. But i have learnt that my dad is my dad and theres nothing i can do that will change him. On dads side of the family they blame me for not having a close relationship with my father. His sister in law went so far as blaming my grandparents because every weekend i would run off to grandma's. Dad worked Monday to friday and was always home on weekends. Well weekends he would be drunk and WHAM! Im thrown down the stairs or into walls or being choked. I even brought this up with my father and his family and they all were like "OH NO Your imagining this" i was like " i wish i was"

 

This christmas i decided to go and spend it with my dad. I had to sit there well his whole family called me all kinds of names and if i fought back that would upset my dad. WELL i fought back. His father is a pedophile and was giving me a hard time that i dont have children and that i should make him a grandpa i go "You never were one to me so i wont let you be one to my children", My uncle denis grabs my crotch and calls me a tappette( that means Faggot) i punched him in the face. Emily thats my dads girlfriend/Sister in law was saying how wonderful it would be if i was gay because she wants a gay son. My dad too agrees. I was like YOU BASTARD! YOU CHOKED ME FOR HUGGING A GUY! I was shouting YOUR THE REASON I DONT LET MEN GET CLOSE TO ME!. Dad goes "Oh Mathieu you can bring your boyfriends to my house anytime" I was screaming NEVER! I WOULD NEVER BRING ANYONE HOME TO MEET YOU!. And then everyone acted like im the crazy one. and my dad didnt call me for 4 months until the otherday when just a few weeks ago my father comes to town we go for dinner and he starts appologizing to me for all the bad shit he's done to me over the years. I was in tears in the restraunt ANOTHER sign of weakness in my fathers eyes. So they war was on and i said "You know what dad dont appologize to me i'll turn out ok oneday" and he didnt understand what i meant.

 

So deep down i must be afraid that if i have children i will be a horrible father like my father was to me. Though i never will even hit my children if i have them. Or i think that i will be trying way to hard to be NUMBER 1 dad!. Its fun when i meet potential guys i like and we start dating then its MATTIE! I'm Not your father!! then we break up through things like them cheating on me. I was watching P S I LOVE you the other night and the man kept yelling at the woman HOLLY I AM NOT YOUR FATHER!!!. I was like "Dear God! I'm Holly"

 

So really i guess if marriage and children happen then they happen. Its wierd i'll have dreams that i have kids and im always like a Single Parent whether my husband died or left me. A couple friends of mine were saying that because im gay i prolly want a daughter more then a son. Im like Whatever i get i'll be happy with. Then i said "I'd prolly turn my daughter into a lesbian with being strict like NO BOYS UPSTAIRS!" then they were saying about if my son was straight would i still love him" im like "Duh! Of course!" then they go "and if he was gay?" i laughed and said "Well then if im a widow or a divorcee or seperated i'll go on double dates with my gay son" My friends were so outraged of this idea!. i was like "What! id be the cool dad!" that way we can tell each other right away if we like who they are dating"

 

And wow i can't believe how long this is...

 

-Mattie

[GaryK]

Maybe this also is because i didnt have the typical wonderful childhood with my father.

I know this doesn't make up for what you've been through but it's the best I can do.

[AFriendlyFace]

Same here:

 

 

I think you'd be a nifty daddy, Mattie!!

[Drewbie]

Hey Mattie, I think you would be a fine dad and husband, From talking to you, even with everything you went thru, seem still well adjusted.

 

Also, be interesting how many gays and lesbians will want kids, as decades go by or year.

[Former Member]

Thanks Gary Kevin and Drew the reassuring advice was what i needed and made me think a few things over.