Journey to Happiness aka Self Actualization

[Prince Duchess]

So since the beginning ive been on this journey of finding happiness within myself and finding myelf. Let me just say this I had no idea it would be such a long and stressful adventure. I know I still have along way to go but I kinda resemble this to Maslow's Heirarchy of needs and his theory of self actualization.

[Nephylim]

Sorry, but these are real turn offs for me. Everything seems very glib. Life is NOT about fluffy clouds and sweet words. It is not about someone you have never met telling you how special you are and that they love you.

 

Life is about recognising the darkness, accepting it and encompassing it. It's not about glossing over the badness and the difficulties, it is about recognising them, accepting them and finding a way around them.

 

I think all this self realisation stuff is dangerous. People focus on themselves and self analyse far too much. Things happen just because they do. You find happiness wherever you can without analysing it and deconstructing it. Everyone is beautiful, everyone is strong, everyone had the potential to be happy. Stop beating yourself up, stop being critical of yourself because you are failing to achieve... whatever you think you ought to be achieveing. Give yourself permission to be unhappy. Give yourself permission to 'feel'. Anger, hurt, pain, defensiveness, self pity, hopelessness.... they are valid emotions. They should not be suppressed, they should not be beaten down and, Gods forbid, they should not be felt guilty about.

 

Nothing is ever all good. Learn to love the darkness.

 

My own journey towards happiness has been a journey through hell and I may not have enjoyed every moment of it I have certainly valued the lessons I have learned throughout.

 

Rant over. You might be able to tell that I feel rather strongly about this.... everything else in our lives has been sanitised and I really hate it when emotions go the same way.

[Conner]

Ok, Nephylim, tell us what you really think! Sounds like you've spent some time in the trenches.

 

I don't see Maslow's hierarchy of needs as "truth". It's simply one model for understanding human behaviour. There are a multitude of such models. Some will work for us, others won't.

 

In my view, a model that works is one that causes you to act. It helps to have a goal in mind.

 

Asking esoteric questions such as, "Who am I?" are not really helpful. It's just a lot of belly button gazing. Who we are lies in how we act. Plain and simple. There are for more useful questions to ask. Like, "What makes me happy?"

 

Too many of us spend our time reacting. Even more of us spend our time standing still. Fear is the killer.

 

I accept that there's darkness within me. Me and the seven deadly sins are not strangers. Sock it to me, Lust! However, I have no intention of embracing it. My goal is to do good. To forgive myself (quickly) when I mess up and get back to doing good.

 

I like to spend a good chunk of time being "wild". It's good for my soul. It's energizing. Wildness, of course, comes in many forms.

 

I don't think "self-actualization" is ever achieved. It's a moving target. If you actually get there, then what would you do?

[Ashi]

(*hugs Duchess*)

 

No matter what I'm going to say it'll sound wrong, so that's all I'm going to do. But I think it's important to have a head up, so you're not alone, okay? Be strong.

[Prince Duchess]

So I found out that I was wrong in implying what this was that I was doing. Its about becoming the total package, perfecting yourself. I'll give you a quote a good friend told me.

 

"What so many people misinterpret about what it is we represent is that were shallow, its not about image...its about using image as a tool to better whats on the inside. Sure being good looking helps, but we know a lot of people who are gorgeous beyond words...and they arent what everyone seems to be copying these days from us. Like...not all pretty girls make it to Miss Universe pageant. Its not just about 'pretty'. The look matters, its just as important as anything else, but its not the only thing. You gotta have it all!" ~ Micheal.Antonio

 

 

[Former Member]

I have nothing to say.