JamesSavik Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future By Nick Hide Source Link A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year. Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender. Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening." This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery. Professor Brian Cox, a former CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes." Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled. Link to comment
Red_A Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 The description of the intruder fits the current UK time traveller "The Doctor" Doctor Who. Link to comment
David McLeod Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 James, thank you for sharing that story. If someone were to come from the future, where and when would he most likely appear? I'm thinking a hot after hours club in NYC... Link to comment
Benji Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 James, thank you for sharing that story. If someone were to come from the future, where and when would he most likely appear? I'm thinking a hot after hours club in NYC... ...............Haha! Great April fools joke!! Link to comment
Tiger Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I'm sure they can find a rubber room and a straight jacket for him. Link to comment
PrivateTim Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I guess it doesn't make much sense to me, he really must be crazy because who in their right mind would want to stop everyone from getting Kit-Kats? Link to comment
Toast Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Dang, my plan for world domination has been sat back a few days. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. LOL Link to comment
Fishwings Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Uhm, I actually find that really, really creepy. Link to comment
Julian Alexander Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I wonder if they found a blue police box near by. Link to comment
Prince Duchess Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 Parts of me wants to believe this guys story. I mean time travel could happen, and if someone was to come back in time to warn us of something then, i guess we should hear them out. I dunno just speaking outloud, honestly... Link to comment
Arpeggio Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 He tried to stop Mountain Dew too?! Link to comment
myself_i_must_remake Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 why are there no jokes calling it the large hard-on collider? Link to comment
KJames Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 why are there no jokes calling it the large hard-on collider? Congratulations! Link to comment
rknapp Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 No Mountain Dew? No Kit Kits?? Frickin' nazi... Link to comment
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