"Laika" by EleCivil

[Agincourt]

This is just a very brief word on this last story in the current 5CBC series, "Laika" by EleCivil, found here. I doubt if there are any spoilers here, but I should make the customary warning that there might be.

 

The story centers on the experiences of the 15-year-old first-person narrator, Brandon Collier, as he encounters a remarkable series of events and people that test his self-image and his sexuality.

 

What distinguishes the story is its level of wit. All of the principal characters, including Brandon's older brother Mark and a brainy friend nicknamed "Dixie" (short for "Dictionary," a result of her prowess at winning Spelling Bee competitions), seem to have an endless supply of banter and snappy responses suitable for every occasion that they find themselves in. It's very sitcom-like, and while it's certainly unrealistic to think that you'd ever find something like this in real life, it's quite entertaining.

 

The chapters are well-written and go through some fairly familiar story territory, on the one hand, with some rather unusual and even absurd twists, on the other. Older brother Mark, for example, seems to specialize in being unconventional and off-the-wall while not being entirely off-putting. You kind of find yourself suspending skepticism and disbelief to fall into this rather warped but interesting world. In some ways it all reminds me of stories by J.J. Janicki, although I think any direct comparison would be stretching things. For one thing, the characters in this story are far more bold and fearless in embarking on strange "missions" than Janicki's characters tend to be.

 

In sum, the story is very well-written, literate, and witty, and so far seems entertaining in its quirky way.

 

A

[JamesSavik]

You guys have a good one. EleCivil is a brilliant writer.

[Comicality]

Now, one of the first things that caught me about this story was it's sense of humor and the well written dialogue. I mean it really creates this witty, comfortabe, vibe that I really love. I can truly see this being a movie or TV show, because I can visualize the comic timing and characters so well. I LOVED it! And as for the opening scene, I have to say that it was a reallyt creative way of 'setting the stage' for the rest of the story! It's cleverly done, where you get to find out what the characters look like, their ages, their relation...but it's done in a very underhanded way. And for that I applaud Elecivil for sneaking those details in there. I really love to see that.

 

Not to mention that the conversations about the matching socks, the acronyms n the car (which I love doing myself), and the idea of taking Nick home without making him think that they were serial killers....all classic moments!

 

One thing that also stuck out for me in this story was the very subtle attraction to Nick Patton, which was a change of pace to what I was used to. Most times it's like...they see a cute boy and go, "WOW! He's the most gorgeous boy that I've ever seen! I'm in love!" But not in this story. The attraction is only 'implied' in the beginning, and grows from there. And that's really how it happens for all of us at that age, isn't it? I was really impressed by that. I especially like how Brandon kept talking about his eyes. Big brown eyes. It stuck out as something really special and interesting about this story. And the fact that he's a cute little Preacher's kid....heheh that's exceptionally cute!

 

Dixie is adorable as a friendly character, and a gentle 'push' for him to do something more, and while the whole 'band' idea seemed to be taking me in a totally different direction from what I was originally expecting....Alex, Sarah, and Corey, are just asenjoyable. But I might have to read more to know what their impact on the story overall is going to be.

 

Either way, I founf the first few chapters of this story REALLY enjoyable! I had read some of them before, but I feel that they were much better the second time around, simply because I had more time to absorb it all and take my time. The dialogue is HILARIOUS! I would love to write something with Elecivil someday (Looks at "Lost In shadow" on my site.....ahem...no comment. Hehehe!). But it's something to read all the way through. And I wanna read more myself very soon.