help! Heartbreak and infidelity in a long gay relationship

[Leah Ray]

My best friend is a lesbian. Her partner of nearly 4 years dumped her and insulted her in public. She wants to turn straight and started sleeping around with guys. I am scared because my best friend is depressed and has been having mood swings like crazy. I cant tell anyone because i promised her. Help

[Cia]

You can be there for her, let her vent, talk to her. You can try to reason with her but that will most likely not work, hurt people often reject what they would normally react like because they don't want to be the person who was rejected. Honestly, your friend will do what she will do. Remind her of the risks to sex, STD's and pregnancy at the very least. Really, not much you can do but be there for her during this time. One day she'll be less hurt and be open to talking perhaps. Don't give up on her.

[Tipdin]

We all react to hurt in our own way. However, if your friend is behaving so out-of-character with wild mood swings, that could actually be symptomatic of something more.

 

Early adulthood is when many psychological manifestations come to the surface, often triggered by something like this event. Depression and wild mood swings are classic symptoms of treatable problems. A psychiatrist, not psychologist should really be the one to whom she should look for help. (Psychiatrists have a medical background that psychologists normally do not, and thus are better able to diagnose when something is biologically-based, not just a stress reaction.)

[Leah Ray]

I will try taking her to a psychiatrist but convincing her is the hard part. Ever since her gf did that, she's on some kind of rampage to 'be normal'(according to her). She refuses to listen to me. I even considered informing a family member of hers but she comes from a very conservative muslim family. In their community, this is a very sensitive issue

[Marzipan]

She must take her own path... The best thing you can do is to be there for her. If you do see that she needs more help, you must tell to someone. It might be the best friend act you can do - even if she hates you for it. Don't let her fall. And please don't take responsibility on her actions.

 

Heartbreak can be a bitch. I hope she will be fine soon.

[Leah Ray]

lets hope so. I am just praying that things dont get worse. I dont understand the whole thing much but i am just scared that she will hurt herself

[Rilbur]

I dont understand the whole thing much but i am just scared that she will hurt herself

 

And that right there is the first sign that something isn't just wrong, it's seriously wrong.

[Yuki Winchestor]

hey leah, i think that the main problem is that your friend seems to be convinced that she needs to be straight. Her sleeping around seems to be her way of rebelling and acceptance. However, you need to stop her. If she doesnt listen, warn her that you break the friendship or inform her parents. Tell her that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian but she cant go around doing this for the sake of being straight in a forced way. Please get her out of the house more often, spend time with her, help her cry and eventually forget it. Dont lecture her perpetuatlly or she wil stop listening

[comicfan]

From the sounds of it she isn't just acting out, she is acting destructive. She needs help and it might be beyond what you can give her. Help her where you can, remind her you are her friend and are deeply worried about her. Try to get her to talk to someone professional. If you are at school sometimes there are people who donate time to colleges for problems students will encounter. I wish you all the best and keep your friend in my prayers.