Bottom or Top?

[Y_B]

Not just in this thread, but it seems like there are just more bottoms than tops in general out in the gay community. Something about being with a guy, masculinity and the whole idea of the balance of power or whatnot.

 

A big difference between being with a guy or a girl is just the feel of the other person. That girl I got with a few months back, she was really soft and gentle and even if she did have sort of this wild side, her femininity was very much there and a contrast to me. When I kissed her, I was very much leaning over her as opposed to her coming forward leaning over me. Guys can be gentle too but they're subtly more aggressive and it's their masculinity that entices me. it's why i've never been attracted to twinkish softie boys, I like guys who fit those traditional characteristics. So as much as I enjoy being a top, I recognize how much I'm attracted to guys who exhibit that same level of masculinity and sexual vigor and in return, I'm willing to let them do that with me cuz it's a thrill and that moment of submission can feel pretty nice. I like it when I'm on my back and being kissed. When a guy doesn't do that cuz of some hangup, it's kinda disappointing. But I'm not about to ever bottom for some wimp or a guy I don't respect. Random hot guy comes up and wants to fuck me...no. So I guess when I say I enjoy bottoming, I don't mean that as just saying oh I like it up the ass, that's not really the point (even if that's what ends up happening) it's about mutual respect between two people and sharing dominance and the thrill involved in that. If that same guy can acknowledge the same in me and is willing to switch it up and let me take over, shit that's what it's all about. If a guy just wants to bottom for me, that's fun too. So yeah, I'm a true versatile who has no defined role because it all depends on the other person.

Edited August 6, 2012 by Y_B

[Ashi]

A big difference between being with a guy or a girl is just the feel of the other person. That girl I got with a few months back, she was really soft and gentle and even if she did have sort of this wild side, her femininity was very much there and a contrast to me. When I kissed her, I was very much leaning over her as opposed to her coming forward leaning over me.

 

So you're a metrosexual.

[Y_B]

What does that have to do with being metrosexual?

[Ashi]

What does that have to do with being metrosexual?

 

Because I thought you were gay. And now it seems you're not even bisexual....

[Y_B]

I'm not much for labels.

[Ashi]

I'm not much for labels.

 

It's not for you. You can do whatever you like. Just assume I was just thinking out loud.

[TommyZ]

There is a lot to being versatile. You give as well as you take ... a great way to be. But there are those of us (like me) that just doesn't like to dominate. I think I could fake it ... maybe that would be enough.

[Cyhort]

But there are those of us (like me) that just doesn't like to dominate.

 

Definitely agree with this. With the exception of like dying or spontanious bleeding/combustion there's no quicker way to turn me off than trying to get me to be all dommy. Even on the rare occasions when I top I only do it if it's something my boyfriend asks for so I'm doing it for him and not to 'dominate' him. It's just not my thing at all and I woud never click in bed with someone who wanted that from me. *shrugs*

[rustle]

There's a time and place for every sexual act.

 

Yang, my place! NOW!

 

*That was a joke. Young guys are great eye candy, but that's as far as it's gonna go.*

 

Seriously, I treat sex as a negotiation with a willing partner. Who's in the mood for what? If he won't pick his head off the pillow to kiss me, I'll lower mine to kiss him. If he wants to flip me over tonight, tomorrow he may want me to tie him down. Either of us can say no at any time.

 

After all these years, I've never done anything sexual that wasn't enjoyable. No, wait, that's not true. It's no fun to play with somebody with a fixed idea of their "role."

Edited August 7, 2012 by rustle

[KS Wright]

Don't really know yet but will find out one day!

[Y_B]

Yang, my place! NOW!

 

*That was a joke. Young guys are great eye candy, but that's as far as it's gonna go.*

 

 

Well, I was just about all packed and ready to go...but if it was just a joke, I guess I'll put away my bag of goodies

[Warrior1]

Is it just me, or is there a disproportionately larger number of bottoms in the gay community than tops? (Keep it in mind that my connection with the LGBT community is almost exclusively limited to the virtual world, so my stats could be skewed and inaccurate).

 

Anyway, I'm a virgin, but I think I'd consider myself versatile as I have fantasies of doing both. That said, going by my nature, I have a feeling I'd lean more towards bottoming. But I think doing both with your partner would make the relationship more "balanced".

 

Don't really know yet but will find out one day!

 

Hey, you don't have to be sexually active to figure that out - just think of the position you take in your fantasies. That said, one can probably have a better idea when they are active in a relationship.

Edited August 8, 2012 by Warrior1

[rustle]

Well, I was just about all packed and ready to go...but if it was just a joke, I guess I'll put away my bag of goodies

 

Damn! Me and my big mouth!

[KS Wright]

Is it just me, or is there a disproportionately larger number of bottoms in the gay community than tops? (Keep it in mind that my connection with the LGBT community is almost exclusively limited to the virtual world, so my stats could be skewed and inaccurate).

 

Anyway, I'm a virgin, but I think I'd consider myself versatile as I have fantasies of doing both. That said, going by my nature, I have a feeling I'd lean more towards bottoming. But I think doing both with your partner would make the relationship more "balanced".

 

 

 

Hey, you don't have to be sexually active to figure that out - just think of the position you take in your fantasies. That said, one can probably have a better idea when they are active in a relationship.

 

You have a good point I imagine myself as a bottom but can see myself a top at times. Guess I might be versatile, but only time will tell.

[Warrior1]

You have a good point I imagine myself as a bottom but can see myself a top at times. Guess I might be versatile, but only time will tell.

 

That's how I imagine myself to be too.

[TommyZ]

 

it's about mutual respect between two people and sharing dominance and the thrill involved in that. If that same guy can acknowledge the same in me and is willing to switch it up and let me take over, shit that's what it's all about. If a guy just wants to bottom for me, that's fun too. So yeah, I'm a true versatile who has no defined role because it all depends on the other person.

 

I think this is a great post that explains very well what it is like to be versatile Y_B. "sharing dominace" would be a good sexual basis for a gay relationship. Who knows? A total bottom might just turn into a versatile gay man with the right partner. As you said "it all depends on the other person."

 

I might be totally off base here but I think a lot of bottom boys (like myself) are bad ass aggressive when it comes to competitive enterprizes like sports. I would love to crush your gonads in golf or maybe tennis. I might feel a little bad for you afterwards but dominating the shit out of you during the "fight" is just piss ant right on! Ya know?

 

But if they every made sex a competitive sport, I would lose every time.

[rknapp]

I go on hiatus for two years and this is the conversation ya'll have? Geez...

[FrenchCanadian]

This is actually a great topic! I find that you can learn a lot about the other person's personality with that... (and that's not in a good nor bad way)

 

As for me, well I'm completely versatile; On the short-run, I will do what I need to do to "be" with the guy that I want to be with. On the mid- and long-run however both will have to happen, or why not simply flip flop.

[layla]

If I'm with a girl, I prefer to be dominant, if I'm with a guy, I prefer to be submissive, though I can still enjoy being submissive to another female, I don't enjoy a non-dominant guy.

[Xtro]

Okay, walking into this a little late, however...

 

I have always been versatile - and some of my most enjoyable sex has come from being with another versatile. That meant role switching - even during the same night/day - was not a problem, and a three-way with another top was also adaptable (again, something which was a regular occurrence at one time, but then people moved and things changed.)

 

However, the concept that a bottom is a submissive is a little skewed, IMHO. Most bottoms I've known have always had a tendency to control things, rather than just laying back and taking it passively. And, as mentioned above - true tops, as with versatiles, are outnumbered by bottoms (again, in my experience).

 

But, as I say, most adventurous and enjoyable times were with another versatile where most of the time we switched from one minute to the next. Don't get me wrong here. I love and respect my partner deeply, but he remains a bottom through-and-through - and I am happy to play top to him, regardless.

[Guest BrittonRumor]

Bottom

Though in a good relationship I would probably be both...

[MikeL]

I go on hiatus for two years and this is the conversation ya'll have? Geez...

 

Robbie? Nice way to avoid the question.

[Menace]

im too younge.

[Hayden L]

I'll bottom for the right guy, but I'm mostly a top. But, then again, I don't really like to label myself.

[TetRefine]

Top. I knew I was a top before I even lost my virginity, because it just seemed more natural for me. I've bottomed some, and it was good but its not really my thing.