C James Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Gosh, I'm so glad you said that, CJ. I admit, I was a little apprehensive about the next few chapters containing high levels of tension and possibly even something like a cliffhanger. As it is, I'm much relieved thanks to your reassurance that nothing bad will happen. Er, you wouldn't lie to us, would you? No worries, as they say down under!! Circumnavigation is entirely cliffhanger-free, so there's no chance whatsoever of any cliffhangers in any coming, present, or past chapters. High levels of tension? Can't happen! The one thing Trevor needs to avoid is stress, so how could there be tension? Wouldn't that be stressful? And me, lie? Of course not! I'm as honest and pure as the driven snow. I think you have to remember one thing about CJ. He wouldn't know the truth if it bit him on the butt. He lies like a rug. This is my suggestion. Print out his reply. Mount the page alongside your monitor. While you read the upcoming chapters, compare how you feel about them. Do you feel a high level of tension? How many cliffhangers are in each chapter? After you are finished, you can join one of two groups. The first group knows they cannot trust, "The Goat." The second group thinks they can trust him. I have not heard of many readers admitting to being in Group 2. Awww, Marty, why must you doubt me so!?? You should take your own advice, print out my above reply, and hang it by your monitor. Then, you'll see; I was right! BTW, Back in Command will be online within an hour or so. And I'll be telling you "I told you so!"
MartyS Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 BTW, Back in Command will be online within an hour or so. And I'll be telling you "I told you so!" OK I'll wait
Low Flyer Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 He lies like a rug. What a brilliant expression! As for the goat, well, we'll see... I want to trust him - he comes over as such a nice chap - but I confess to moments of doubt. As I said, we'll see.
MartyS Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) What a brilliant expression! As for the goat, well, we'll see... I want to trust him - he comes over as such a nice chap - but I confess to moments of doubt. As I said, we'll see. Yes we will Slanga Marty Edited August 2, 2011 by MartyS
MartyS Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 LowFlyer My comments regarding Cliffhangers are posted in the Chapter 85 Thread. Once again, CJ is jerking us along.
falling into the story Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 I'm sorry but this chapter for me was too much, - specifically the death scene at the party. For the most part, I think that in the real world, even the biggest mafia leaders generally arrange to have their executions committed in dark alleys or via a quick entrance and exit rather than in front of a crowd of colleagues / « friends». This scene seemed to me like something from the cinema. When the badguy's character is depicited as 100% black evil with no nuances, no subtlety, no scintilla of complex humanity, then I actually find him to be a little less interesting becoming almost a kind of cookie-cutter cardboard figure positioned on stage to advance the story. In this context, the violence becomes needlessly graphic and I just want to scroll rapidly through it. I don't need it in order to know that Sanchez is evil. And what interests me much more, is why he is this way and how he got to that point. In general, this is a very well written story. I will continue to read each chapter and look forward with anticipation to the next one. I realize that I'm in the minority on this point, but I thought it was important to offer you this viewpoint intended as constructive criticism. Thank you.
Site Moderator TalonRider Posted August 8, 2011 Site Moderator Posted August 8, 2011 Actually, I think Sanchez used him as an example to the others. Organizations of this type in different countries probably deal with situations like in their own ways. He's also worried about his own head. The contract he's put out on Trev, has failed twice already. A Third could mean his own death.
Zombie Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 (edited) I'm sorry but this chapter for me was too much, - specifically the death scene at the party. For the most part, I think that in the real world, even the biggest mafia leaders generally arrange to have their executions committed in dark alleys or via a quick entrance and exit rather than in front of a crowd of colleagues / « friends». This scene seemed to me like something from the cinema. When the badguy's character is depicited as 100% black evil with no nuances, no subtlety, no scintilla of complex humanity, then I actually find him to be a little less interesting becoming almost a kind of cookie-cutter cardboard figure positioned on stage to advance the story. In this context, the violence becomes needlessly graphic and I just want to scroll rapidly through it. I don't need it in order to know that Sanchez is evil. Not saying it's a good thing, but modern sensibilities seem largely inured to graphic violence, from years of unremitting exposure to pretty much uncensored "action" TV, cinema and computer games. You must bear in mind two things. First, Sanchez is just another in a long line of evil characters that feature in CJ's action/adventure stories and whose evil is always depicted in lurid 3D HorrorVision. Second, CJ truly is the embodiment of evil and such graphic writing therefore comes easily to him and must give him great pleasure and enjoyment. Edited August 8, 2011 by Zombie
C James Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 I'm sorry but this chapter for me was too much, - specifically the death scene at the party. For the most part, I think that in the real world, even the biggest mafia leaders generally arrange to have their executions committed in dark alleys or via a quick entrance and exit rather than in front of a crowd of colleagues / « friends». This scene seemed to me like something from the cinema. When the badguy's character is depicited as 100% black evil with no nuances, no subtlety, no scintilla of complex humanity, then I actually find him to be a little less interesting becoming almost a kind of cookie-cutter cardboard figure positioned on stage to advance the story. In this context, the violence becomes needlessly graphic and I just want to scroll rapidly through it. I don't need it in order to know that Sanchez is evil. And what interests me much more, is why he is this way and how he got to that point. In general, this is a very well written story. I will continue to read each chapter and look forward with anticipation to the next one. I realize that I'm in the minority on this point, but I thought it was important to offer you this viewpoint intended as constructive criticism. Thank you. I think you may have a point. What we have seen of Sanchez is all monochromatic; their should be more nuance. He does have a sense of honor (that most of us would consider twisted in the extreme) but that's about it. Hrmm... He needs developing more. I'll work on that. I like the question you raise; why is he like he is, and how did he get that way.. I like it a lot, and that will be in the story. Thanks! However, when it comes to the execution, the brutality, etc, I am sad to say that I think I'm on very solid ground. I wish I wasn't. Sanchez's cartel (he's depicted as being part of their inner circle, though not their leader (he's in charge of his own area and operations though) is partially modeled on the Norte del Valle Cartel in operational style, structure, and internal murders. Sanchez's notion to take Trevor's head? That's more based on Mexican cartel actions, though in Mexico beheading and dismemberment of victims is used far more publicly by the cartels. (however, Colombian cartels have been known to use beheading as well). However, in Sanchez's case, he has an additional strong motive; proving to Bridget that Trevor is actually dead, due to the two failed attempts. I'm in a very awkward spot here; I could prove all this (that there are commonplace actions far more brutal and public than what Sanchez did) by posting the pics I found during research. They are horrifically disturbing, so I won't. On the other hand, google can show thumbnails. I'll post it as a link here, but with a STRONG WARNING, EVEN THE THUMBNAILS ARE DEEPLY DISTURBING. These are from real and recent events; people executed by the cartels, and their severed heads and other parts arranged as a macabre display to be found by the police and public. Another tactic used often by the cartels; brutal torture-executions that they film, then distribute as a warning. I wish I was exaggerating here, I really do. Here's a description from Borderland Beat's, page on the subject of Cartel execution videos This video surfaced today on the narco blogs, its content is extremely violent. It is unknown exactly when it was filmed, nor where it took place. The film lasts seven minutes, in which a group of masked men in military style clothing have hung a man by his feet. This person was clearly still alive when the assailants castrated him. Music can be heard playing in the background as one of the men step in and strategically peels back the face and skin of the victims before decapitating him. After it is over, the people standing around joke and laugh while they take cell pictures of this gruesome act. What Sanchez did at his party was mild by comparison. In the real world, drug cartels not only do far worse, they sometimes even make videos of it. BTW, the tiny cay the party happened on is partially based on Norman's Cay, in the Bahamas, in the Exuma cays. A drug cartel island, it was run by the cartel as a cocaine transhipment point from 1978 to 1982, and was renowned for, amongst other things, wild parties. Since that time, the cartels have not been as blatant, and no longer mix their transhipment points and their bases in this way. However, having an estate on a small island? There are still plenty of goings on like that on small cays in the Bahamas (there are hundreds of cays there). Here's a news story (this one is safe to read, not graphic) about a columbian cartel enforcer getting convicted, of murder of informants, rivals, torture, etc. And interestingly, some used "Sanchez" as an alias. Actually, I think Sanchez used him as an example to the others. Organizations of this type in different countries probably deal with situations like in their own ways. He's also worried about his own head. The contract he's put out on Trev, has failed twice already. A Third could mean his own death. Yep, he did it as an example to his organization. This is a high risk move; he's just created a roomful of eyewitnesses to murder. Sanchez does not enjoy killing, so he'd only do so for a very compelling reason. Not saying it's a good thing, but modern sensibilities seem largely inured to graphic violence, from years of unremitting exposure to pretty much uncensored "action" TV, cinema and computer games. You must bear in mind two things. First, Sanchez is just another in a long line of evil characters that feature in CJ's action/adventure stories and whose evil is always depicted in lurid 3D HorrorVision. Second, CJ truly is the embodiment of evil and such graphic writing therefore comes easily to him and must give him great pleasure and enjoyment. I didn't base Sanchez on TV or movies; sadly, he's if anything a bit less brutal than his real life counterparts. And what? Sweet, innocent me, the embodiment of evil!?!?!? Now how could I ever be evil???
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