[Dark] James Place by Dark

[Graeme]

James Place by Dark

Linus makes coffee. He's good at it, too, even if no one remembers his name. When he does get a shot at his dream, the road doesn't lead exactly where he expected. One day he’d wonder if all things happen for a reason, or if God was just messing with him.

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

Edited September 14, 2011 by Graeme

[LJH]

I thought you did a great job with a fine mix between the narrative and the dialogue.

 

I felt there was an interesting layer to each part of the story that wanted me to know more. A fine job with the build up from humble beginnings to suspenseful ends.

 

I identified with the character cos i love Nuttela...lol

 

I know it's meant to delight me in the beginning, and it does. If it was meant to stir and hold me at the end, it did.

 

There's more to this character than meets the eye. The puchase of the house tells me that he's adventurous. Wants excitement. His motivation is reasonable too.

 

 

A well crafted piece technically.

 

 

[Linxe Termoil]

Hrm...

 

A good piece, lots of narrative. That narrative is necessary in establishing a story, and you did a good job with it.

 

Unfortunately, the ending was kind of lacking. As in, you need more...I now expect a series.

 

Thnx,

 

Linxe

[Dark]

Hrm...

 

A good piece, lots of narrative. That narrative is necessary in establishing a story, and you did a good job with it.

 

Unfortunately, the ending was kind of lacking. As in, you need more...I now expect a series.

 

Thnx,

 

Linxe

 

Lots of people seem to expect a series now. Hrm.

 

I thought you did a great job with a fine mix between the narrative and the dialogue.

 

I felt there was an interesting layer to each part of the story that wanted me to know more. A fine job with the build up from humble beginnings to suspenseful ends.

 

I identified with the character cos i love Nuttela...lol

 

I know it's meant to delight me in the beginning, and it does. If it was meant to stir and hold me at the end, it did.

 

There's more to this character than meets the eye. The puchase of the house tells me that he's adventurous. Wants excitement. His motivation is reasonable too.

 

 

A well crafted piece technically.

 

 

 

I was concentrating hard on the technical aspects of writing, for this one, so yay me! I'm not sure I realized how hard it is to write a well-rounded character in a short piece. This story was all about writing in the hints and alluding to things, all of which you (and others) have also picked up on, so I'll just pat myself on the back here as I go off to mull over thoughts of a sequel....