Coming out to his parents?

[Freerider]

On 11/4/2014 at 8:27 PM, SolarMaxx said:

I'll figure this out -- I always do.

 

Maxx

Hi @SolarMaxx,

 

I came across this thread and am very curious what has happened since then.

How is your nephew now? Did he come out? Did you finally open up to him?

[SolarMaxx]

22 hours ago, Freerider said:

 

 

22 hours ago, Freerider said:

Hi @SolarMaxx,

 

I came across this thread and am very curious what has happened since then.

How is your nephew now? Did he come out? Did you finally open up to him?

 

My nephew is still living with us. He'll be turning 18 in a few days, which will solve a lot of problems for us. He was doing really well for for a long while, but then he broke up again with his first, and long-time boyfriend some months ago. This time it seems permanent and he's been having a really rough time of it.

 

For better or worse, I've never been able to "open up" to him about myself. Our lives are complicated enough already! Someday, when he's more mature, maybe I will if I think something positive can come of it. 

[Freerider]

34 minutes ago, SolarMaxx said:

 

 

My nephew is still living with us. He'll be turning 18 in a few days, which will solve a lot of problems for us. He was doing really well for for a long while, but then he broke up again with his first, and long-time boyfriend some months ago. This time it seems permanent and he's been having a really rough time of it.

 

For better or worse, I've never been able to "open up" to him about myself. Our lives are complicated enough already! Someday, when he's more mature, maybe I will if I think something positive can come of it. 

 

Thanks you for satisfying my unbridled curiosity.

So, I guess he came out and was kicked out?

 

I am sorry to hear of the troubles. I applaud you for having him live with your family, despite the difficulties!

I guess when he turns 18 the parents have no saying over his life anymore and he is free to stay where he wants to stay? Hopefully things get easier then and he'll find a new sweet bf

 

[SolarMaxx]

2 minutes ago, Freerider said:

Thanks you for satisfying my unbridled curiosity.

So, I guess he came out and was kicked out?

 

I am sorry to hear of the troubles. I applaud you for having him live with your family, despite the difficulties!

I guess when he turns 18 the parents have no saying over his life anymore and he is free to stay where he wants to stay? Hopefully things get easier then and he'll find a new sweet bf

 

Thank you Freerider.

 

I guess I left out some key points, but your observations are pretty much on target. His father is a long-term and dangerous alcoholic! He made life very ugly for my nephew when his sexual preferences were revealed, and ultimately we had to step in to keep him out of foster care. It's been a really long three years, and we have all paid a big price for the bigotry and religious superstition that holds sway over my family's collective conscience.

[Freerider]

3 minutes ago, SolarMaxx said:

Thank you Freerider.

 

I guess I left out some key points, but your observations are pretty much on target. His father is a long-term and dangerous alcoholic! He made life very ugly for my nephew when his sexual preferences were revealed, and ultimately we had to step in to keep him out of foster care. It's been a really long three years, and we have all paid a big price for the bigotry and religious superstition that holds sway over my family's collective conscience.

 

Yes, you left some things out. Unfortunately I can fill the parts in as we have heard stories like these far too often!

 

And please remember that the price you are paying is the price for doing the right thing. Any bigot or religion telling you otherwise is simply wrong!

 

[ReaderPaul]

     SolarMaxx, thank you for the update.  I am not surprised at what you have told us.  A friend of mine was married to a woman over thirty years, and they have two sons--one gay, one straight with 5 or 6 kids.  His ex-wife loves both sons, and is fine with the gay one as well-- but could not stand the idea that HER husband might be bisexual.  She had broken promise after promise to him for years, and then wondered how he could divorce her.  He got stuck with the entire house payment, even though her income is at least as much as his, and she got the house.
     I am glad you were able to be there for your nephew, and hope your wife is holding up okay, as well.  Considering the parts of your family situation you have shared. do not be in any hurry to reveal your bisexuality to your nephew or anyone else.  At this point it probably would stir up more flames instead of helping the overall situation.  The full reasons I have for advising that would take much too many words to explain at this point.

[SolarMaxx]

Thank you Paul. I definitely get, and agree with what you're saying. Life can be really complicated sometimes.