Imagine Magazine Question For 7/16

[Comicality]

It most definitely exists. It's just as normal as everything else. It's bisexuality. There are plenty of people out there who are attracted to both men and women, and can be romantically involved and very happy with either one. I know, because I happen to be one of those people.

However, when it comes to approaching and maintaining a committed, long-term, relationship...do you ever wonder whether or not the pendulum might swing back the other way? I mean...what if you fall for a guy, and he begins having feelings for a woman instead? Or vice versa. How would you deal with that?

Do you, maybe, agree to an 'open' relationship? Do you worry about having to compete with someone else that is something that you could never be for them? If you, yourself, are bisexual...can you promise to be faithful to your partner on either side of the equation? And does society's views factor into this situation? I mean, let's be honest...it's much easier to be heterosexual in most parts of the world than it is to be gay. What happens if your partner decides to go for the dream life of the white picket fence, the two kids, and a dog...instead of the possible stigma of being 'different'?

I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this one. It's a question that I've thought about in the past, and everybody's take is different. So let us know what you think! Inquiring minds want to know!

Anonymous answers are always welcome as well. Either here on the forum, or you can send it to me at Comicality@shackoutback.net when you get a chance!

Hope to hear from you soon!

[Comicality]

 

I know that it may be a surprise to a lot of my readers, because everything that I write is gay teen fiction...but I really am bisexual.

I can remember thinking about this issue a lot. It actually used to mess with my head in a major way, because I was ready to completely commit to somebody special and settle down for the ideal life that I think we are all looking for in some capacity. But...could I really do it? I mean, I could be married to the most beautiful woman on the planet...but I'm never going to stop finding guys extremely hot! And if I decided to have a husband instead of a wife...I'm never going to stop finding women extremely hot either! And then there's the attraction to teen boys, which is just...a whole other issue. But...attraction aside, what happens if I find a real kinship with someone and feel tempted to just go for it.

Yeah, that used to haunt me.

However, I think I'm much more of a romantic soul. Like...my emotions push past my physical or sexual attraction, and I'd like to think that I'd be more loyal to the actually 'person' that I'm with, no matter what gender they are. Plus, I find cheating despicable, so I really don't think that would be a problem for me. I don't love you because of your sexy parts. I love you because you make me laugh. Because we share common interests, and because your smile brightens my day. So, I'm confident that me being bisexual, or having a partner being bisexual, would ever be a problem. I've never been in that situation where I felt seduced by a different sex...but I'd like to think that I'd have the strength to stay faithful to the person I love. And that he/she would stay faithful to me as well. Maybe I'm an optimist, but I'd like to think it was possible. 

[Who4m1]

I was actually quite shocked, when I heard stories of people, that got left by their partners, because they outed themselves as bisexual to their partners. That has to be brutally. Then again, there are many people out there, that have weird takes of relationship and love.

If I were in love/relationship with a bisexual person (time of outing not really important) I wouldn't treat them any different than any not bisexual person – or at least try to.

Because honestly, if gay relationships are difficult in your environment or you just haven't fully accepted loving a man, yet, then the possibility of a relationship with a women you love could be a great tempation. So there would definetely be an initial fear there and I'm pretty sure, I would make my partner promise not to leave me, just because of the opportunity of a relationship with a person of a different sex. He would need to soothe those fears a bit in the beginning, but I'm pretty sure, he could do that easily by reassuring me a bit.

 

I am also certain, that I would not just leave a partner for a partner of a different sex. For leaving a partner I would always need damn good and morally approved reasons. I usually have high moral standards for myself.

 

To be honest I also think that for many, that situation would not really be that different from gay or hetero people – I'm pretty sure, for me it wouldn't.

There are always other hot people out there. Whether of the same sex as your partner or not. And it is a similar moral decision to leave a woman for a man or a man for a man or a man for a woman or...

Well, at least I search for love. And when it's love, you don't need to change to a person of different sex, because it is not all about the physical. And you would not want to ruin love for just a little bit of physical pleasure. That's just the same as that you wouldn't risk a good relationship for a hot afternoon with a stranger of the same sex as your partner. Or at least I wouldn't, because there seem to be people out there, that actually do that.

 

As mentioned, the exceptions for this are major issues with the environment our your own selfacceptance. And I'm glad, that I do not really have to think about my environment. I also think by now I'm stable enough in terms of self acceptance (hopefully - probably not completely though, but stable enough for now and for that kind of situation.)

 

However in an extreme bad environment for gay people (by extreme, I mean EXTREME, extremes are always good for explanations and tests) the situation would change. I probably would advice bisexual people I love then to find a person for a hetero relationship if they can and therefore wouldn't be able to invest completely into a relationship with a bisexual of the same sex as me.

But for that it would have to be really bad.

 

Honestly, I do not really like to think about such scenarios. Much would be different then, I'll just enjoy my tolerant environment, in which bisexuals do not need to fear many things.

 

I don't think I ever could do an open relationship btw, for me relationship is about being two and giving each other love, but also security (to be loved). An open relationship would jeopardize some of that and cause some fears for me. So nothing for me – I can see the idea behind it though.

 

I also feel the need to state here, that while I already feel unexperienced in life at all, I really have pretty much no actual experiences with bisexuality. So you may want to weight other comments on this topic heavier than mine.

 

I am really curious though, in which forms I will encounter love in my personal future – you rarely know for sure.