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Imagine Magazine Question For 10/21


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He's soooo beautiful! Absolutely lovely! Sexy, fun to be around, witty and intelligent, awesome sense of humor, common interests...seems almost too good to be true, doesn't he?

But here he is. An angel in the flesh. Someone you can love and trust and truly be yourself around. And yet...when it comes to make things 'official' and promise him forever...you hesitate. Why?

It doesn't have to be marriage or anything, but have you ever wondered if maybe you were moving too forward, too fast? Like you might want to wait a bit longer? Is it a fear of commitment? Are you worried that you might be rejected or left heartbroken? Maybe you're worrying that you still have some life left to live before you settle down? I mean, if you promise your heart to somebody...you've got to be sure, right? No long vacations, no visits from an ex boyfriend or someone you thought was out of your league, no chasing after your dream career and finding that you're unable to do that and maintain a healthy relationship at the same time. Taking a shot at forever is a big leap of faith. Are you up to the task? Have you ever tried it and been right? Tried it and been wrong? And how do you know when it's time to put up or shut up?

What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to give us your two cents and let us know! :)

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I've tried it a few times, actually. Haven't regretted a single one of them, to be totally honest. Have I been hurt before? Of course. And I've minimized that a lot as I've gotten older by not being so head over heels for the boys I've chosen to really and truly love. I mean, I'm like, "Here!!! Here's my heart! You can have it! Just love me back, and it's yours forever!" Unfortunately...it isn't always that easy. And I keep trying to convincing myself that I'm done with love, and that maybe it's just not one of those joys in life that I was ever meant to have. And that sucks, believe me.

But...sooner or later, another angel will come into my life, and I'll hold off and try my best to hide my feelings for as long as I can until I'm really SURE that this is somebody that will return the love that I have to give them. And, at some point, I'll be dancing on air again.

I mean, what am I going to do? Purposely deprive myself of love and joy forever? That's just ridiculous. I don't want anyone to think that I'm reckless with my heart...but if I really FEEL something somebody else to the point where I can even type the words, "I love you" on a computer screen...then it's real. And I'll give everything that I have to make them happy. Always. I've got no problem promising forever to someone else. Heh...and one of these days, they'll promise me back.

As for right now though? No such luck. I came really REALLY close, once or twice, though. Close enough to know it's possible. But...with no risk, there's no reward. So I'll keep trying until I get it right. :P

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, I definitely took that chance. A few times, and it took a couple tries before I found Mr. Right, my husband, Morgan. We met not long after I joined GayAuthors, and we got married about a year after that. We've been married for five years, and now we took another leap and adopted a kid, so I'd say the reward definitely outweighed the risk! 

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