IMAGINE Magazine Question for 3/15 - "Definitely 'NOT' Staring"

[JeffsFort]

Thinking back to your younger years, did you ever have a crush you absolutely were not ready to admit existed or simply frightened to put it out there—so instead you perfected the art of ‘casual’ peeks you were certain were completely stealth? The quick side-glances, the reflected looks in windows, the sudden deep interest in literally anything else when they turned your way. Looking back now, you were probably about as subtle as a blinking neon sign—but at the time, how did you handle it if they caught you looking? Did you freeze, play it cool, panic internally, or invent a totally believable excuse on the spot? And with the benefit of hindsight, what would you tell someone navigating that same heart-racing, quietly obvious moment right now? Not that they're sneaking a peek at you right now ::grin:: 💜

[Page Scrawler]

This is probably gonna sound boring, but if someone said to me, "Dude, you're staring." I'd just give myself a mental shake and say, "Oh. Uhhh, sorry. Just... lost in my thoughts."

At thirteen years old, I used to visit a roadside store that sold ice cream. More than once, the kid scooping ice cream behind the counter would wave his hand to get my attention, because I was just... staring at how pretty he was.

I didn't know it at the time, but that kid later grew up to be my husband. We only met that one summer, then reunited by chance, in 2016.

[JeffsFort]

That's not boring... That's awesome

[SilentandBroken]

On 2/17/2026 at 5:10 PM, Page Scrawler said:

This is probably gonna sound boring, but if someone said to me, "Dude, you're staring." I'd just give myself a mental shake and say, "Oh. Uhhh, sorry. Just... lost in my thoughts."

At thirteen years old, I used to visit a roadside store that sold ice cream. More than once, the kid scooping ice cream behind the counter would wave his hand to get my attention, because I was just... staring at how pretty he was.

I didn't know it at the time, but that kid later grew up to be my husband. We only met that one summer, then reunited by chance, in 2016.

That is so sweet.

 

[SilentandBroken]

Hell I still catch myself with a guy at work. I’m too chicken to act on it though. He may have caught once or twice and maybe suspects but we’re all waay too busy to catch each other privately to interact. Oh well.

[SilentandBroken]

I doubt he’s even gay tbh

[SilentandBroken]

But yes I did have those experiences early on and it was not safe to act on them in public. Not back then. Not with that school.

[SilentandBroken]

Ok confession time. Yes I still stare bc honestly why are the guys who work as transportation assistants in the hospitals always like super cute and hot?! Oh that’s be that age again sigh 

[JeffsFort]

Now when I wrote this question, I had a semi-funny memory in mind that was destined to be my answer but I knew it wouldn't be short. So I figured, yup, you people need to have this inflicted on you. ::grin::

So, normally with almost everyone I would do the quick gaze redirect or pretend I was looking past the person at something or someone else. But this time I got caught staring at a really awkward time; at someone I had a secret crush on for at least 4 years at that point even though we were very close friends. We'll call him Shawn.

Now I met Shawn in the 4th grade and we just clicked. He was kinda goofy, really athletic, good looking, and quickly became a really close friend. At first, I was simply enjoying the craziness that seemed to always be in the room when he was. Then about a year later, I realized that it was absolutely more than that. He was cute, like seriously cute. Light skinned, blond hair that even on a windy day would fall back into place and look perfect, always on the run when it came to sports or anything that had any kind of competition to it. I found myself letting him talk me into doing things that I had no real interest in doing. All it took was his whined "Oh come on Jeff! It'll be fun, I promise!" and I would follow him anywhere. I often found myself wondering why I was putting myself through it all. Baseball after school, football on the school front lawn, kickball with the group of us who hung out. In Jr. High he talked me into playing field hockey which I did enjoy but also wrestling. At thirteen years old, I was not built for wrestling, like, at all. LOL! I was short and skinny and the rest of the boys wrestling for the most part, were not. But I followed him anywhere. In high school, he talked me into trying out with him for the swim team and the football team. I didn't make it for football (I did go for track so I could be close by during his practices and I could run.) but did make the swim team. Which is where I had the most epic "What are you looking at?" moments ever.

So, we were running drills that day. I forget what we were getting ready for but we were seriously dragging ass afterward. Now since we played quite a few contact sports over the years, we had showered in open showers and changed in front of each other enough times for me to have images of him burned into my memory, it was just pretty common place though. This day I had grabbed my stuff to shower up, pulled off my swim suit, wrapped around my waist and then sat down to wait for Shawn to grab his stuff because let's face it, I was not missing out on clowning around in the showers with him if I could help it. That was what I was in it for over all anyway, LOL! He finally wandered in and I sat quietly while he started to peel his bathing suit off. I didn't realize it at the time but I partially zoned out and was staring at his 'fun zone' pretty hard. He turned and noticed, tilted his head and then started to laugh. "What are you staring at, you gay today?" (That was a thing, long story, LOL!)

I was a little startled because I was lost in thought (they were of him but, that's not the point ) and he had just snapped me out of it. Me being who I have always been reflexively shot back "Huh? Oh um, I was waiting to see if it's finally big enough to see without a microscope. Can'rt be gay for something that isn't there." which honestly wasn't out of character. His response, he just dropped his shorts and jumped up and down a couple times so it would flop up and down. Not huge but, ::sigh::...

Shawn: "Any bigger and you could see it from space."

Me: "What? It takes up no space."

Shawn: "You take up no space."

Me: "Well, you are waving it around. You sure you aren't gay?"

"You're gay!"

"You wish I was gay!"

"You wish I wished you were gay!" (I really did )

A normal Wednesday for us honestly and all these years later, I remember secretly trying to memorize every single feature that was uniquely him. He was one of the very few I didn't worry about when it came to being physical. With little to no boundaries or shame from either, he was the only person I could be caught staring at like that and get out of it without getting my nose rearranged  Unfortunately, we lost touch after my family moved halfway through high school. No idea where he is today but thanks to my staring, I can still see every inch of him in my mind and smile. Well, you know, after in my mind we get into the obligatory wet towel snapping war coming out of the shower leading to either involving innocent bystanders or getting yelled at by our coach. That's how it's supposed to go, hehehe!

Edited March 12 by JeffsFort