[Jack Scribe] Domes and Teapots - Chapter 11-13

[EMoe57]

Well done! It was easy to follow along the various story threads - excellent use of descriptive language. I think the driveway scene was perfect since it helped underline how wrong things can go when you try to do something right. Being an editor, I caught the occassional goof but they did not have any effect on the storylines.

 

I'm curious if the intention is for this story to be a series of incidents/vignettes linked together by Kyle & Dex's relationship. There is a significant cast of characters built up that can carry this story in many directions and possibly even sequels. I look forward to following where this story goes.

 

All in all, this story is well told. I can hardly wait for the next posting in this story!

[C James]

Chapter 11: Excellently done! The whole kidnapping and movement-to-cover and them movement-to-refuge was fast paced, be detailed, and the plot was superb!!

 

The plot really impressed me.

 

Chapter 12 continued with the excellent plot, and I liked the re-working of the tracking data, and also the use of an IR-quipped drone (Predator, or Global Hawk?) for the initial recon.

 

Chapter 13 was exciting, and well-executed.

I liked the field craft being displayed by Dex: keeping to a more formal exchange with his client is wise on several fronts.