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Today has been a very bad day for me, emotionally. Today I found out that one of my cousins, Doug Strange, died last Saturday. Everyone is being told that it was from a Diabetic-related seizure, but the reality is that drug paraphernalia was found in the room by the police.


Doug was staying with and taking care of my maternal grandparents who live right around the corner from my paternal grandmother, which is where I'm staying right now. I didn't go see them last weekend because both Nanny and Papa have Alzheimers and it is emotionally draining. I found out today from the newspaper obituary column.


I also found out another cousin, Christopher, is on life-support at a local hospital after a bad reaction to a prescription drug. He's not expected to live. For those of you who remember my "christmas" story I posted a while ago, Chris is the first person I ever had sex with, and I realized today just how much I still care for him. I've been crying for hours now, and am feeling very, very lost.


Life will go on though.

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There is very little one can say that will either seem to help or indeed even sink in, though I hope that this, may in some way, show a light at the end of that very dark tunnel.


It is said that "Time is a great healer". It is, but it helps if one understands WHY time heals.


As the days and weeks go by, you will keep thinking about the loss of those you loved, but a change in emphasis takes place. At the moment you think mainly of their deaths, but soon you will start to remember more of their lives, this is as it should be.


It may help you if, when your thoughts go to one of these people, you think about something good that you remember happening with them. Try to remember their laughter, and always try to remember that their laughter is the very thing they would love you to remember.


Lastly you will always be surprised at just how many peoples thoughts are with you in this difficult time.


Hugs, Maurice.

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