Ashi

Erm..., why did you move to a town where you know they might have more guns than people? Walmart? Not a Supercenter in sight? How are you going to get employed/shopping/dine/hooking up? (just kidding) Why Children of the Corn came to mind when I read your post? I hope there is Internet there.

SF can be darn cold in June.... It should hold Pride in November. 😛

Erm..., how do you become an openly gay POTUS if you're in the closet? 🤔 This is cool. Though I've been in downtown once, and similar fundamentalists were protesting about who should go to hell (perhaps not them...), so I just took a photo of them.... Then suddenly they gave me this blank stare, like they just woke up, didn't know where they were, and what they had done. In five minutes they left.

By your analogy, then I am impotent for forty years.... 😤 I am not impotent. I am just looking for the one. The one who can make me sing in the middle of the night.

Well..., love is a powerful emotion.... It can defy gravity (especially if you're a guy...). A N Y W A Y Z.... I approve W_L's message.... But I do believe gender is a serious concern for me at least.... Big, muscular guys do get me hot.... 😛 I do want to get my cake though. I am too old to be cakeless. And I am a Taurus, so I want to horde my cake. All the cakes are mine, mine, MINE!!!! Actually I am monocakeous. I just need one cake. The one cake I can eat for the rest of my life.

I am not sure if your post is answering the title of the post or toward a particular response. Anyways, though I mentioned in my own response that I wouldn't enter into a bromance (after the poll has been closed, for neutrality reason obviously), but I still would like to know why or why not people enter it. It is always nice to know different sides of the story, as the world is diverse and beautiful in that manner. I partially agree your last statement, but I believe the more facets of life I know, the more likely I could improve my handling in a more graceful way. Anyways, from what I heard so far, I think (maybe incorrectly) that the people who would enter a bromance though no sexual relationship would ever come out of it are the ones who can keep sex and love separate fairly well. I also can keep sex and love pretty separate. I have to admit though, once I know someone long enough, love will develop, despite there was no infatuation initially. And once love sparks, sexual desire might just heat up naturally, despite it may be inconvenient to one or both sides. Straight people can be very interesting, too. You gotta admit that. And that's where the frustration starts, isn't it? "Why can't they be gay, so we can be ever happy after?" But that would be selfish, and amusing as, "why all the handsome guys are gay," or "why all the good ones are married...?" Since I don't know the answer, and like many things in life, there isn't one neat correct answer, so I thought I'd put this poll up just to widen my own horizon, and think outside of my existing box. Sorry if my post reminded you of some frustrating past events. Though I have come to the conclusion that my past with that guy is now a happy memory of impossibility. Maybe that's why now I can face Red Daddy everyday with a smile, instead of seeing him as an unrequited possibility.

I think Jesse really is just figuring it out.... You're already married, so I won't suggest using your own body as a bait....

Go watch Love Simon already! I am not a daddy..., though that boy is confused about me being his daddy. So nice to hear about your bromance. Jesse is probably still figuring it out....

I never consider that term for a straight girl who tags along with gay guy a "rude name." I think it's cute. Honestly I've been using gay slang so liberally, I am curious why no straight people ever ask me about my sexuality. Maybe I am presumed gay until proven guilty. I cannot imagine myself falling for a woman either. Never been... even when I was in naive stage, or when I was so closeted that denounced everything gay.... Nothing against woman, but I only get turned on by men (sometimes in the most inconvenient time). I didn't believe in bisexuality until I met a guy who is like having an ambiguous relationship with me (only to tell me he's not gay). He always tried to get me out of the closet, and asked me to watch his hockey games (and him in the locker room... in jock straps no less... ), went to dinner with him or tried to ask me to move in with him. And then..., he said that ultimate humiliating statement. Now I look back, I think he is bi..., though he is married to a woman now. I have two types of guys I like, and those two types are polar opposite. Red Daddy and that guy mentioned above actually belong to the same type.... Maybe they're super secured about their sexuality, they don't mind having an open relationship with a guy who's presumed gay until proven guilty....

https://youtu.be/NR7_TbMIVnA But I also listened to a song that keeps haunting me and I could not find it online, because I think it might be an underground song. The lyrics goes something like "All I need is fifteen dollars a day. Maybe I should be poor, just like I used to be." Or something like that. It was played on the same day of the above Beach Boy song, so I was wondering if the DJ for the Radio was feeling down that day. Given I am sort of like protective type of guy, I wonder if I were there with the DJ that day, I might give a random kiss of kindness.... Not like I should be giving stranger a kiss unless I am really into him, but oh well.... Music does have weird power....

I get inspired when I am doing nothing. Like morning commute or wait for something. Usually I'd spot something that would inspire a chain of thoughts.

What is on your mind when you think of the word "great?" Which story do you consider a classic? Who is your most admired person? Where do you go to get inspired? When does a moment become experience? How do you advance a civilization into the golden age? * * * This world is endowed with many great things. Some are eminent, some are waiting to be discovered; some will become a memory, some will never extinct despite of deliberate neglect and distortion. They all deserve to be cherished and preserved. * * * Can you put a price on... ...freedom? ...the feeling of falling in love for the first time? ...safety and feeling alive? ...respect and compassion? We have an unprecedented number of homelessness. Everyday I ride on a train, I can see encampments so great, that some portable toilets are placed around them, which I assume is to maintain public health for all the surrounding community. On another day, I went to a flea market. Being educated in healthcare for a couple of years, I cannot help but think we might have an outbreak of weird diseases due to the near proximity of homeless camps and squirrel population. (Please do not feed wild animals as some bacteria unique to them will crossbreed with bacteria unique to human, and these hybrid bacteria will infect both species.... We may or may not have the capability to control the mutated bacteria) All we hear on the news nowadays are bunch of big babies attacking each other over some petty issues, ignoring human conditions. * * * Why nobody ever tries to find out why more mass shootings happening nowadays? It always turns into a political drama rather than addressing the most fundamental issue. This is people's lives we're talking about, not an opportunity to further one's political career. I still remember the days when school taught students pipe bombs (though I never learned), but nobody ever seriously contemplating using it to harm others. Now no school teaches that chemistry and yet more people died from violence. What happened? I still remember the days when people can freely go into airports and museums without needing to go through security gates. Why is my personal freedom and happiness compromised because of a minor chance of threat. The security measure is not even effective guarding against people who have no regard of the laws anyways. I still remember the days the Internet was used to increase people's IQ by exposing to differences rather than reinforcing one's limited perception. It used to be an Utopia of tolerance, a haven of self-regulation, a pool of endless knowledge. Why is it used to propagate greed and misinformation nowadays? Isn't the fact-based journalism the propeller of democracy? Didn't Jefferson want to be remembered to be the Father of Virginity University because educated people are the core of democracy? Doesn't George Washington's Farewell Address warn: "[Geographic politics] agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms, kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which finds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions"? * * * Today after work I went to buy some tapioca tea. There was some misunderstanding between the cashier and the customer before me, so the order was not placed correctly. The prior customer basically suggested he had the power to recommend more corporate customers only if the store would simply replace his new order for free. The small shop owner with her limited English skill couldn't understand what daft-dressing guy was trying to suggest, so she offered 50 cents extra for the replaced drink, because cashier/server charged him only for the regular tea rather than milk tea, and served him according to the wrong order. Given I worked in food industry before (among many odd jobs I had held), I knew it's a big loss for the shop because it's not a simple adding milk to the tea issue. The store needs to throw away the original order due to health code, irregardless whether the drink was consumed or not. The shop keeper insisted on quality didn't help either, but she eventually agreed to just add milk to the order for free instead of remake the whole order to satisfy the customer. I have seen many of such disputes before. It is not limited to restaurant order, or language barrier issue. Don't know whether it's because their perceived financial standing or their education level, people are getting less humble. Most people don't realized outside of their career specialization, they actually know extremely little how the entire world functions. In this case, the customer before me did not realize it is a health code that the shop cannot serve tampered food. Everything in life is simple; even the simplest thing is difficult. What that quote (which I thought was attributed to Nietzsche, but I can't find it) means to me is one has to be humble, and be respect of people of all trades. Everyone is an expert of something, disregard of our social standing or the wage we're paid for our work. If this were the old California I knew back in the 90's, people would be more graceful and asked why 50 cents is charged, rather than immediately pull the consumer/corporate pressure card without actually asking a probing question. Because that customer might have learned something about the food industry. Instead, he sounded like a crude and tactless person dressed in sharp suit. Our California value of tolerance and acceptance is dying everyday, and it's such a sad sight to see. I wished my brain could be faster, and paid the 50 cents extra for the agitated customer and everyone would be happy. Though when the shopkeeper apologized to me profusely because she was busy making the replacement order for that customer (who was not even there when she finished the order because he just had to answer a phone...), I simply told her to take her time. I know how little gesture like this means a lot when you're working very hard for very little money. Besides, I was late for my train anyways, so time wasn't that important to me at that point, but it'll brighten up her day. I wish I have made the point clear enough. Great, despite current events might have you believed, is not based on selfish interests. We can actually make the world great again, no matter how small or insignificant the contribution might see at first. Be gracious of others, be respectful of nature, and treasure every moment we share. The world doesn't need to be shallow and petty. There can be a lot of beauty and greatness if we tried.

I think I'll add this video since it is sort of related. It's very frustratingly ambiguous. The video never answers the question it started.

Thanks for the advice, but I am not fantasizing about straight, married man. I am a victim of seduction by straight man. 😛 Just kidding.... (but what would you do if a straight guy gave you that serious, ponderous, manly man stare? And all you could do is either ignore him, or disrupt his stare with friendly but aloof small talks because you don't want it to become a bromance...). I do need to meet more g people though. I can go watch a few movies for sure. I attended a couple pride parades, but I am usually the spectators..., as with many things I do in RL, a spectator. I'll pull a Love Simon, sitting on a Ferris Wheel by myself this Christmas, hopefully.

You mean, a really tough situation.... (just trying to show my brain is still functioning 😛 ) Anywayz.... I know I need to move on with caution.... I can't take a break away from him, unlike Costco Boy who I could choose when to meet (only on days I visit Costco), I work with this guy every day.... My brain is constantly filled with "I can't say [such and such] to him because it sounds too much like flirting." Don't know if any of you has ever had such issue....

So.... Why..., like why I made this poll...? Is Ashi tired of being a virgin? Very possibly. Is there a very serious temptation that causes Ashi to abandon his decade-old decorum (of virginhood)? You're getting there. Is this temptation off-limit that Ashi believes it can only be at best..., a bromance? (*nods, nods*) Is Ashi's virginity being threatened? (BUZZ) NOT.EVEN!!! But it's the closest in decades. Some of you might be aware there is this guy who I've called "Red Daddy" in my life lately.... I have this weakness for red-headed guy.... And I've been tested a lot in last few years. Costco Boy is like made to my specification except I don't like his voice, and he is like ten years younger than me (mostly the latter that's the deal breaker). Red Daddy doesn't have that age limit issue, but as my nickname for him implies, he's off-limit because he's married with a child. And he's very friendly, and I like everything about him. His voice is so nice (I just discovered I have many weaknesses lately...). I accidentally brushed by him (literally) and his bear fur on his muscular forearm is like so freaking soft! OMG.... I am not a bear person and don't have a daddy issue, so why am I being tested this way? THIS IS UNFAIR! So my brain, which usually has a strong capacity for making logical decisions, has been devolved into contemplating a bromance with a married guy.... OMG. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! I've never had so much self-doubt. I make better decision after four shots of whiskey than this! I used to have a co-worker who fell for a married guy. Of course the guy he dated never got a divorce to marry him, as he had promised my poor, poor coworker.... Every time I think of him, that's all I could think of..., "poor, poor, Geof." I can't fall for a married guy. It is against my principle.... But my principles have been tested a lot lately. So please tell me bromance is evil.... I know I don't make sense.... My gaydar is so broken nowadays.... Wait... it never works to begin with. (and what the f is this daddy sub-culture nowadays among younger gay guys..., and why am I wearing skinny jeans?)

Being 100% straight makes it easy to keep the friendship... well..., straight. 99% straight, however, is frustrating. (Ashiism moment) Mmmkay.... I am not stealing your hubby.... So..., please don't hurt me. Oh, Matt, only if I could be so open about my sexuality.... You young people are so lucky. That also tells me how far we've gone. That's very supportive of your friend. I think he offers you to be your rebound, and that to me, shows what a self-less person he is.... Though I would freak out if someone did that to me in the hot tub.... I actually would freak out if ANY guy touched me.... And I am with you..., I am also too much of a mess to be dating. I don't miss cuddling and kissing because I've never had such experience.... Keep a positive attitude though, so....

Okay, it's response time! (*eagerly opens mail bag*) My gaydar never works that well, so I've been getting the wrong signals all the time.... Anywayz, I would never get as far as you did though. If I did, I'd be so frustrated. Yes. It'll be VERY unfair. I think I'd have trouble keeping the boundary. So far I've been doing well though. He's married, so it helps (keeping the boundary).... I am NOT a homewrecker! Curiosity killed the cat.... Now, which one is the cat... that's debatable. 😛 About the "... when handled right..." OMG. Easier said then done! Especially if one of you is CURIOUS! If both are curious.... Houston, we have a problem! (*gives Dmrman a white glove to handle it right..., whatever that means now...*) I am totally passive..., so I am not sure what I would do if I were.... I'm still innocent, by the way.... OMG. I had a friend like that. He had made fun of how gay I was, like, innocuous teasing, though I was totally in closet at the time. You can almost feel he just wanted me to be more comfy with my gayness, and we could get dangerously close to the point he wanted to be my roommate... (I turned him down, obvious). He was the reason why I feel I should never get too close to a straight guy, like EVAR, but he was very gay for a straight person.... Like he was more open about homosexuality than I was at the time.... The current debacle I am facing (which is why I am re-opening the case of how I should conduct myself in front of a straight guy by asking you guys in this poll), unfortunate this guy has always been reminding me of that guy.... I shouldn't let the Pandora's Box open.... Which is ironically... the guy I had met before, who said he had opened the Pandora's Box.

Hello.

Happy birthday.

I like details, but it depends on how detail is delivered.... I am a firm believer of "Show, don't tell" but my interpretation of that phrase has always been, more dialogues and character interactions, and less descriptive verbiage. If via dialogues that you can infer a character's mind set, then don't write out what the character is thinking. It completely takes out the guessing game. You want some mystique there. You want some room for the readers to interpret the character in any way s/he wants it. I gloss over lazy writing. I mean, the moment I read the basically the same phrases from the novel "Devil Wears Prada," as if the author just cut and pasted the same phrases from chapter 1 to another chapter, I stopped reading it (I think it's only chapter 4 when I declared that book is a piece of junk). If it's a flashback/flash forward, PLEASE rewrite the same story segment in a way so one section completes the other, but not repeating itself verbatim. Leave some segments missing in the first run-through. Go introduce some other setting. When you're ready to come back to the original theme, let the reprise section fills in the blanks, so all the ends are tied but refrain from repetition. Repetition of the story just makes the story very boring and incapable of provoking readers' imagination. I do like small details like how a character makes a certain sound, walks a certain way, uses a certain catch phrase nobody else uses, or OCD in some bizarre fashion. That sets up the characterization, or "method acting," as actors call it. Then it would eventually explains the psychological insight of a character, and why they make decision a certain way or flawed as a person. For example, "Tim always cooks curry on Thursday. He cuts carrots into 1/2 inch cubes, as with Yukon potatoes and onion, always, and without variation." Wouldn't that make more sense if we later learn Tim is a micro manager, who always follows policy to a T without ever questioning the why? On the other hand, I don't like any detail that adds no value to the story.

I love the video clip you made! I've watched that movie and so it's extra funny when I watched your version. In any case, Comsie. Don't stress out. Drink a glass of fine wine or two. Chill and chat with us.

As my usual practice, I'll say something once the poll ends.... But I'll have to admit Bromance is confusing to me.

Please explain why in the comment section.

I am more of a photographer than a writer, but your exposition here applies to artists of all type. I re-read some of the stories I had written (and I do that to all works I've done, photos, stories, or work in general) and I can always find something to improve upon, and just like Comsie, has a tendency ending up rewriting the whole thing (or wanting to..., my life is in the way... ). I am a craftsman by nature. And that never ending pursuit of perfection drives me nuts but I can't help it. Because (here comes the famous quotable) "Perfectionism is a flaw itself!" Before I confuse young folks (or anyone early on their chosen path), I don't mean do not improve yourself. On the contrary, I am just reiterating the essence of what Comsie is trying to say. There gotta be a balance. As all experienced writers (and photographers) will try to tell the young grasshoppers, just keep writing (or keep taking photos!). That's how you develop your own sense of style and discover your strength and weakness. I totally agree with Comsie, people will notice whether you put effort into it or not. If your words (or artistic style) stop your readers, it's usually because it's not as well done crafted as it should. Here is what I mean: everything you put a period before it should flow naturally without a sense of pretension. And that effortlessness is a sign of a mature artist, but that doesn't mean it comes easily! The photos that look the most effortless to my brother, who stopped growing as a photographer, are in fact, shot on a tripod, researched extensively on the weather and lighting condition, and were chosen out of a dozen similarly shot photos (sometimes after years of reshooting the same subject) before they're even given a chance to be presented to the public. Which brings to another point, are you trying to sell to general public or are you trying to have a breakthrough internally as an artist? There will always be a balance between those two which artists are struggling with. As I mature as an artist, when I re-reevaluate my work after years the photo was taken, I'd see some "vision" that's been lost as a direct result of that pursuit of technical superiority. That's when the general public might be a little more objective than we are, as artists to our own work, because they're not emotionally attached to the work just because the effort that's poured into it. Once the work is published, I let the audience decide. It'll be heart-wrenching, perhaps exhilarating, sometimes maddening, or a sense of regret with a dash of poignancy and humility. If something is not well accepted, I'll use it as a propeller to create some better work next time.