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Oh, but that would be telling!! No spoilers! I will tell you that ch. 2 will answer your question. I'm glad you like snakes too, there are some aspects to them that can be very sexy. You'll find out what those are as we go! Thanks so much for the review!

A blank review... how ambiguous!

Me likes it. Me won't poke holes in it. I be queen!! :cool:

Thank you, thank you! I was mostly giving the tone and the setting in chapter one. You'll see much more of the characters and get the mystery main character's name. Thanks for the review, more to come soon!!

Well it helps that I get migraines. I know exactly what it feels like and how it takes over your whole body. Don't worry, like I said, I write well with an audience to keep happy. I'll do more soon!

'Damn it!' I should have known better. It started with just a small warning ring. I wasn't drinking since I was the designated driver but the music was pounding so hard I wasn't paying much attention to anyone talking to me. Not until I noticed the lights begin to flash on the dance floor. My eyes watered and I groaned as I pressed the palm of my hand to my right eye. It couldn't have been more than a minute of the light show before it triggered. The guy who was trying to chat me up on my left s

Davis has been alone for a long time. Between his club and his job essentially as a mercenary for Velaku, the local Carthera leader who let him live in his territory, he has little time to worry about finding a mate. If that is even possible for one of his kind. That doesn't mean he doesn't want one though.

Wow, that chapter ending was way more dramatic than I expected! So, tell me, is this a finished work? Are you posting as you write it? I'm sort of annoying when I like a story and the writer doesn't post it often enough, just so you know. You might be in for some bugging from me... possibly some whining, throwing my weight as Admin around (totally JK, unless I could make sure I didn't get caught, hmm... ). Really, the only thing I though that detracted at all from the story so far was the really commonly used 'let me look at me in the mirror naked' though, thank you VERY much for not describing him below the belt, lol. You did make his description part of the plot, not just a run down at least, so that was helpful to make it seem more like part of the story. I just prefer to share a detail here, or a detail there, a lot of the time as perceptions or comments from my other characters when it comes to physical descriptions. Anyway, as I said in my last review, this is a great story. I can't wait to see where you take it.

Usually I won't touch a story with such a young protagonist, and if you have him having sex I'll probably get the heebie jeebies, but I have to say, this is a wonderful story. Very few errors, nothing that detracted from reading, very well rounded characters, an emotional plot without being overdone or cliche, and I really want to read on. Thankfully... I get to. Great start!

Good chapter. I love how you wrote up Jace's philosophy about writing. I ascribe to many of the same principles, however, in some ways without being 'taught' how, a writer can never be great in my opinion. A phenomenal plot is only as good as the way the writer reveals and shares it with his reader. A poorly written piece full of grammatical and spelling errors will not have the same impact a story that is polished with the skills you can only get from technical learning. That's something I see with your story here. It doesn't detract from your storyline at all, which is driven by some wonderful characters, but it does lessen the impact. When Jace has his speech to the class you have him there, just talking. Real people don't do that. A real person would flick their eyes around the room, take in their audience, use a hand gesture to emphasize a point, smile at someone who is nodding along... Our lives are made up not only by the verbal messages we share but the physical ones. When you bunch all of them up at the end of your dialogue, like you did with the speech, it detracts from the realism and connection to those characters. You also could benefit from some grammar rule research. I'm constantly finding out how I'm doing some form of punctuation or capitalization wrong and trying to fix it. A great writer not only has great plots to share, but cares about how they showcase them. I think you're on your way to being a great writer, with a bit of work. Oh, and I want to know what Merry wrote too, so hopefully the next chapter won't be too long in coming.

I think my biggest complaint would be how you have Jace saying 'the boy' in his thoughts when he's confronting the teaser and the jocks. It seemed to distant, too dispassionate. Him or my boy would have been more in keeping with how possessive Jace seems to be. The scene where Hayden reads his story was pretty funny. I could just see him with his jaw set and his face beet read while she smirked at him.

I like how you are taking cliche characters and a cliche plot and totally making them not cliche, if you know what I mean. Your approach is different from most of the other teenage I'm in love so I should come out, right? stories I've seen. So, plot is good, characters are good, your delivery needs a bit of work. I saw one sentence that had 5 commas in it, a total run on sentence if ever I saw one. Try reading your story out loud during editing and you'll see the natural pauses and you might be able to get rid of some of those extra commas you're using. The other issue I saw was your changing tenses. Sometimes you're writing in past tense, sometimes in present and it was very distracting.

Interesting start. I like how you have clearly created the main characters and yet your descriptions of them are so vague. It allows me to get a sense of their self and my mind to make their bodies up as I read. I've always enjoyed that as I read. I can't write poetry or songs into my stories for anything so other than once I haven't even tried but I think you did it very well.

*waves* Hey back

Hi Northern Angel. Welcome to the site! We have many different orientations here, so I'm sure you'll fit it, no matter why you joined. As for help with writing, try posting a snippet of your story in the Sneak Peek area for readers to give you input without actually posting a full story. You can use a practice story or write something for one of the writing prompts in the Writer's forum if you don't want to share your story for your brother. You might also benefit from requesting a beta reader in the Editor Forum. They can help with plot ideas, bouncing thoughts, giving you an idea of where your story might be going wrong or if it's on the right track. My other advice would be to just READ. Everyone writes sex a bit differently, depending on the characters, the circumstances, and their writing styles, but you can get a good handle on how the many ways you can write sex into a story.

Welcome to GA Mike! I have a stepdad and a brother with that name, though I still call the brother Michael. habits can't be broken lol, don't blame your mom too much. Happy reading!

My families have used Kodak's galleries actually. You can create albums, password protect them or share through email AND family members can order the pictures themselves. If you are like me, my kiddos have 4 grandma/grandpas, 2 great grandmas and 9 sets of aunts and uncles, plus friends who love you like family... Yeah, it'll save your wallet big time if you consider that route. Plus, say she goes to a grandma's to visit and said grandma takes fifty million pictures of her toes (it will happen) then she can share them with everyone else if you create a 'baby *name here* album' that everyone has the password to upload to. As for everything else. Happy for you that things are finally coming down to the wire. You will be holding your baby girl and bawling your eyes out before you know it. You both will be absolutely great daddies.

"They are already playing the entrance music, and you decide to tell me that now? Are you crazy?" "It's not like I chose this to happen now!" I whispered hoarsely. "Oh my god, SHUT UP!" the conductor, Mr. Morris, hissed at me. "Tanya, get over here. You're singing Timothy's part." I flushed as she smirked at me. I was actually glad though. I mean, who wants to be a sopranist? My parents and Mr. Morris had been thrilled when my treble voice lowered only slightly in puberty, allowing me t

Awww, thanks hun! I knew people would think cell phone considering it was a high school teenager as a protagonist but I just had to go fantasy in a twist.

Cop out ending? Would I do that? I'm so glad you liked it, thanks for the review!!

You got the sad part. It's a choice, there is always something left behind but what he faces forward with could be so much better. I was a tad evil leaving it open like that wasn't I? But c'mon... what would you choose?

That was the goal! I wanted you to think, high school story, teenagers, nothing new... then Wham-o! Mer, um, dude story Thanks for the review dear

It was buzzing again; the feeling made me squirm in my desk as my tight pocket held the small round object firmly against me. Aukai hadn’t told me what would happen when he first gave it to me. The first time I found it in my pocket had been the strangest thing; I hadn’t known what to do with it. Now that I knew what it would do; it was exciting. “Mr. O’Connely! Is there a problem?” Ms. Beckett turned her beady eyed stare at me. “Uh, no ma’am. Sorry.” I ducked my head and stared at my desk

Nope, you can't now. Once you are an author you can't change your name. Before you choose a group you have the ability to go into 'edit my profile' and change your name in the settings.

Happy Birthday Fishie!! Many hugs!!