Cia

As another part of your team, I think that it's the way it's written that will give the scene the emotional focus one way or the other. Either thinking of her not doing something leads to thinking about sex with her which would naturally make him uncomfortable when he's having sex with someone else or he flashes, omg, that feels so good, she never did that, it's been so long..oooooh, god yeah. With one the focus is more on what his wife did or didn't do. The other is more of a focus on the fact that it's been so long since he had that sex act simply because his wife didn't do it. The second would work, the first would not, imo.

Don't be the flippant Yang Bang you like to show here. Be the serious but humorous Yang some of us have seen behind the scenes. Very much what Mark mentions. You've been given a large amount of very helpful tips, though if you're going to go with James' make sure you use minty flavored liquor Other than that, I don't think there is too much I can add, except good luck.

Good job hun!!

I don't know how any parent can NOT see that their child is that unhappy at school and not try to find out why. But... I've learned that I can't measure all parents by what I think is appropriate. I was taunted unmercifully in school at times but I always had friends. The isolation you wrote in this story would be awful to endure. I'm glad you ended it well and with a bit of a moral lesson. Suicide will end your pain but it helps no one. Thanks for sharing Bill.

A very different type of coming out/of age story. Set in an exotic locale, for me, and with a very different feel to the pacing, this story could be really good. I hope you continue it. Good job.

First, thank you! I love the prompts, even if they don't inspire a story or I can't get to them right off. Second, Awwww, poor Comicfan. I soooooo know what you are going through, hun! Stories here and there and everywhere and only one of me. That being said, yay for more stories for me to read from you! Guess Comicfan doesn't get his fun time til his writing time is done, now does he? Get to work !*cracks whip*

I suppose I did jump to conclusions on why it was done. However, something like that indicates a very strong emotion behind the murder. I would guess the story that comes out will rock the community, whatever it ends up being.

His name is Kertyn and he was considered touched by their god Stygianius, god of night, because his eyes were all pupil-literally black-like a night sky. Because of that, almost all light was agonizingly painful. I'm glad you liked the story! I will have to see what I can do about writing more stories like this one for you Thanks for the review hun!

I know I'm evil! Next chapter will be out in a few days!

It always comes out in a rural community. We had a murder where I grew up once and it wasn't long before everyone knew every detail. Hopefully the community will pull together and help support the poor man's family as well. Such hatred is a disgrace and the perpetrators should be punished severely. No one deserves to die for who they choose to love.

Thank you Michael. I try to always make sure my stories, even the short ones, have a natural progression and end. I liked this world and could have written on but then I wouldn't have time to write the other stories I already have going, lol. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you liked the story!

I do like to mix modern and fantasy. I can use a society and world where a reader knows with rules and then throw in the occasional sexy man with a forked tongue and venom that makes their mate hot and horny for fun. I'm glad that it written well enough to be original and entertaining as fantasy yet still be 'believable'. Thanks so much for the review!!

A drunken one? My bff has the hugest celeb crush on him. I think... ewwww... he's so dingy looking. But lookie you, hob nobbing with celebs!

I wanted to write a lot more about this story and characters myself. How knows... maybe I keep this going off and on as I have time. For now, I took it to a part where I thought it made sense to leave it. I'm glad you liked it anyway. Thanks for the review Ghanbrews!

Thanks Mark! This story just... fizzled for me though I have several more chapters completed. SO many stories and so little time to finish them all! I would like to complete this one so I will try to get it done. I reviewed and corrected a few places in Ch. 2, thanks for letting me know about those errors. That is a common mistake for me, my fingers type slower than my brain flows at times. Thanks so much for the review!

Trust can be a fragile thing. It has to be built and nutured in order to hold two people together. You're right, they didn't get a good foundation before this happened. That will definitely play into the future chapters. I'm glad you gave the story a chance. Quite often I will have a dominant character but I try to keep things realistic. A couple is rarely made up of polar opposite partners, typically the flow of power between them is fluid. Dominance in bed or in manner doesn't necessarily mean that the character will be the overbearing alpha male type. I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Thanks for reading the Carthera Tales!!

Awww, so you don't want me to make it magically all better? You talk about me torturing my characters!! When I write a relationship into a story I like to give the characters a conflict or issue of some sort, yes. In real life we have to overcome issues all the time. If they can recover from this one... that remains to be seen. I mean, Dav tried to KILL Ellis. How do you go back from that? Anyay, I don't want to spoil future chapters so I'll stop there. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing aditus!

It is sinuous and tempting. That shy glance over a bare shoulder and little roll of your hips are beyond my ability to resist. A chance moment becomes an opportunity for more. I slide in, taking up the empty space around you. My hands float above your waist, where I keep them, relishing the heat radiating from your dewy skin. Your hair drags against the hollow of my throat as you roll your head to the side and back with your eyes closed. You bite deep; your white teeth bury in your succulent bo

"Wake up Ellis." A hand was shaking me roughly. I recoiled away from the painful grip and sat up with a gasp. I was still in the bed, and Dav's face slowly drifted into focus. I rubbed my face, shaking a little. "Jesus Dav, you scared the shit out of me!" I complained. “It’s not like I wasn’t attacked last night or anything. How about you take it easy on the wake up calls for a little while?” "Yeah, not the worst of your problems right now. You need to get dressed right now." Dav turned

Thank you Dannsar. This topic has been raised before, a few times actually. For example, you can read one about what you should post, according to Lugh, here and another topic about giving feedback in general here. I get pm's from people asking if this or that type of commenting is okay for reviews or pm or not at all, quite often.. I have to say, it's all subjective to the skill and knowledge of the person reviewing and the person they are reviewing for. Everyone handles criticism differently and it can be hard to tell how a person will take a comment you feel is honest but they might consider an attack on their writing if you don't know them. Basically it comes down to this for me. I put right on my profile, 'If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask me.' I rarely sugar coat my comments when I feel something should be said, but I try to temper it by also mentioning things I like. My writers I beta for know this. I typically use a gentler style when reviewing, since I haven't been specifically asked, per se, but I still hold to the same tenet. I feel both should be shared, what a writer does well and what they need to work on and those are things I try to point out. Also, for anyone who reads this, YES, I welcome the very same courtesy returned to me and be blunt, I can take it. I cannot get better as a writer if I don't know I'm doing something wrong. Conversely, I like to know what/how I am writing that is working for readers.

Awwww, it's blank. Is no review a good review? You didn't flame me, so that's nice, right? JK Thanks for the intention to leave a review, lol!!

Thanks!! I know, there was just so much in my mind that could have gone with this story but I have A LOT of story ideas partially written already you guys have never seen. At least now I have the basis for a longer story if I ever get enough time to get back to this one. Thanks for the review hun!

This was supposed to be under 1k for a writing prompt Dribble. As I wrote I kept having to curb my desire to make it a longer story too! Thanks for the review Damond!!

Hey Daddydavek! Thank you!