Douw

WOW Cia this was really good i loved it! If i have time ill read your other stories... Because you got me hooked now!

Hehehe thanks Frosty ;~}

lol yes it is weary short as i was righting it on the way home from the states on my iPod lol but will work on the flow of my stories thanks for the tip and reweave;~}

With a huff I sit down in the seat that is way too small for a guy like me. How they expect me to squeeze into that I have no idea, if I'm lucky the seat next to me will be empty, but knowing my luck, the biggest prick on the planet will sit next to me taking the whole arm rest for himself, and snore all the way to the USA. Irrational? Maybe. No amount of rational thinking will change my mind, in itself an indication of my mood. My arms firmly planted on the arm rest, back strait, givi

I'm tired and need sleep... And then fate just has to come into play...

Haha thanks Dark one;~} and thanks Cia I'll try and do that it means a lot to me... I'll try my best promis!

Hey bro i can see some underlining fear in there... A fear that lives in all of us at one time or another... Grate work bro I love it;~}

How things stand right now i see a lot of problems I need to fix or work on... First is my family how seem to think that i was born to serve them hand and foot... Needs to change now... Job is weary important to me for obvious reasons... To get out of wear i am i need to work... Drivers license also important to fix my problem of being stuck at the house... So to fix that or to free my self that need to re read the book and go stand in the q for 6h a gene and hope this time the wont fail me on one question... lol And work on my self-consciousness a lot hmmm that mite be the biggest challenge of the lot but we will see... Thank You every one how is my friend and gives a dam what is going on in my life it means a lot...

Thanks guys....

Shy... Right that is why i'm so flirty with my friends... guess that is also the reason i freez up when good looking guy talks to me or the reason i make a ass of my self talking to new people right... Nope not shy just stuped and sceard to death of rejection... yes i know stuped don't remind me grumble grumble But still it's there rearing a ugly head every time i talk to some nice guy or try at least choking on my own words like a little boy i don't know hoe it got there it's not always been there don't ask my way it's just there i hate that i choke on my own words before they leave my mouth but no matter what i do it just keeps on happening sigh Maybe it's whats going on at home my dad has been a ass uterly crule with his jokes just as my sister has been and still is but at least a long the way i made some frends witch help a lot yet at times it feels like i'm driving every one a way and i hate it i hate feeling like a ass i hate feeling like it's my fult that ipeople don't talk to me i hate feeling useliss i guess it's just me having a self worth complex moment idk... I don't even know if this will see the light of day i'm still debaiting wether or not to post it... I guess the only thing that is wrong is i'm lonly and i feel a little abandonde by people how should be here with me or me there with them and man i feel pethetic saying it but damming if i don't want a phone call every now and then or a hug.... ya i know it's bad book me a room at the not house sigh I guess even that is my fult it's not like i have not had the opertunaties to make more friend if i toulk my head out of my ass sooner i mite be better off... it's strange what a little curige can do no... Guess it dose not help me shying a way from contact all the time agen fearing to get outed or even p some one off ya i know crazy as can be sigh But i think mostly things are this bad becouse of my fears... And i know it's time to change if i want to be happy i just need a push in the right direction or more like a lot of pushes sigh any how if any one reads this i know i sound crazy and stuped... so be nice with the coments pleas and ya i guess that means i am posting this...

Awww... that was sweet of him... But i can't help feel like there is going to be hell to pay for it later... Loving it bro don't stop i'm addicted;~}

Blinking rapidly, I fix the picture playing in front of me; of Douw and Jimmy kissing.It can’t be. I’m going crazy. There is no way Douw is queer. I close my eyes and the cogs turn. What the am I going to do? How could I have missed it? He never showed signs of being a sick faggot. Shaking my head I turn away from the scene in front of me, my stomach knotted, clenching my fists, the taste of bile in my mouth and tears burning my eyes because I know what I have to do. No faggot will live under

Chapter 3 JIMMY A bright red ball of flame touches the horizon; it steels my breathe away. A rumble in the distance distracts me as a cloud of dust appears on the hill making its way to the camp. A shock of white blond hair blowing in the wind catches my eye and a smile plays over my lips. I remember bright, green eyes and a smile to melt any heart. My own heart sighs. If only he was gay or even bi would be great. Why are all the hottest guys straight? I stare into oblivion as the memory en

Two tons of pissed off buff charge headlong at me. I am on my feet, gaping into her black eyes. Closer and closer she comes. Head down. Hooves beating on dry earth, creating a dust cloud in her wake. Everything is slow motion. It feels like it’s been an hour since she began charging. Boom! Boom! Danny fires, and fires again trying to stop death from reaching us. Boom! Boom! A quick succession of shots ring out as Mister Denials fires his double barrelled rifle. Splashes of dust appear on h

7 Years Prior….. “Let’s go Douw! Its morning and the hunters are in the Lapa, drinking coffee.” I wake up with a jolt. Oh shit. I overslept. ‘I’m up! I’m up!’ My brother in law, Danny, has a long smirk on his face. “You had better hurry up, otherwise even the bottomless coffee will run out.” “Ok, I’m up. I’ll be there in ten. Thanks bro.” It’s been a hard week of hunting with no rain. The veldt is dry and void of life. Except for the river which is our life line in the dry winter season.

Streaks of lightning shoot from dark clouds over the battle field as the Great Invaders approach the last free city and hail rains down upon the invaders as the Sky Witch appears. She is flanked by great armies of soldiers, followed by the Great Fire Birds that descend and ignite into flaming balls, scorching all in their path of destruction.

Thanks HB;~}

I am so tired of only dreaming. I want to know how it feels to be free like the birds in heaven, to roam the world like the animals of the plains, to swim in the oceans of life like the fish in the sea. To be free of judgement away from this place and all of its hate. Away from the memories of lies old and new, to be held and to hold without fear of hate and judgement. To be free...

Sitting here, in the land of sun and heat, I gaze upon an evening sky alight with the fire of the setting sun, burning the clouds red and gold. Sitting here, I look upon a world that long ago held me captive in her majesty, but all I see now is the burning fury of the evening sun, glowing red and igniting the sky. A land of dust, of scorched earth, proudly wears life. In me, I see no life. Dust and fire, burning me, scorching life to dust. The fires of my soul flicker and fade

Why You ask me you ask me why I do not love you ask me why I do not change you ask me why I do not feel you ask me why I do not laugh You ask me why you ask me why I do not love the way you love you ask my why I do not change to be like you you ask me why I do not feel the way you do you ask me why I do not laugh when you do I tell you I tell you I love not the same for I love more then you I tell you I change not to be same one other then what I am

What hell has befallen me? It seems nothing matters To be left without reason Without mercy all alone Without love or hope. I wake to wonder and dream, What evils have I done To be so judged and forgotten By eyes once so kind and hands once so gentle? What evil have I committed That love would turn to rage And caring to such great a hate? It is as if all things are a mirror of the past, Or can it be that what was now, is? That what seemed like love was rage And caring was but ha

Drops of pain rain upon a world of hate and lies as I lift my face stricken with grief and cry out into the night as cold as ice rain. Where is my hero to save me from this pain of hate? Where is the love in this world? Yet all that comes in answer to my call in the dead cold of night are cries of hate and terror screeching into life across a world forgotten by love. The cries draw ever closer and closer still deafening in the blizzard of rising hate and I cannot run from the

Just this one wish. Please just once, I wish you could hold me close. Just this once, I wish you could stop the tears and wrap your arms around me. Just this once, I wish your hot breathe could wash over me and drive away the cold. Just before I die, I wish you could feel me, feel my arms wrap around you, feel my hot breathe warm your soul, washing over you, driving away the cold. Just this once, open your heart to save a heart ripped to pieces.

Regret I see you happy and pure without a care in the world shining like the sun in the sky. my eyes long for yours but I know better than to look into them, to fall deep into your soul is to hurt you again. I cry for you at night as the tears fall without restraint my voice catches in my throat for I can no longer call your name my heart is dying from my own foolish rage I have lost one more precious than all the gold on earth One more pure than a flawless diamond shining like gold I cry t

The broken: How can there be love for someone that is broken shattered into small pieces hidden form the world, I bleed from the pieces which used to be my hart never to be seen by eyes of another, tears fall to my cheeks forming rivers of sorrow down my face hidden by darkness, the world will not see the rivers flow deep and strong pain like never before strikes the broken pieces a heart that was broken long a go never to be mended only to feel more pain and longing like a fire burning my min