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Everything posted by Andrew Q Gordon
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Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
This chapter always gets me, but half because of the memory it dredges up. You know I am so grateful to you for all your help, you really helped me bring out the emotions of the character that help give depth and realism to the story. -
Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
Hey Frosty - geez I JUST got finished answering reviews and this one is there - read the discussion thread for a better explanation of Barbara - I put it in there because I wanted folks to see this is actually a real reaction just by someone other than Barbara. -
Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 28: The Price You Pay
Hehe, everyone and the grandparents LOL. There is a note about Mom's reaction in the discussion form, it is in the spoiler. Read that for a better explanation of her reaction. Next Chapter is Thursday, I won't rush it because there is no cliff hanger - well other than Peter's condition - that begs for resolution Andy -
Jason left Peter's room, walking quickly. Unable to hold back, he began to run down the hall. When a nurse told him to stop running, he slowed until he found a stairwell. Taking the stairs two and three at a time, he found himself in the lobby and quickly exited the hospital. Once outside, he began to run. He didn't know where he was going, only that he needed to get away. It was done; he told her. Now came the hard part. What did he do without his parent's support? Leaving the par
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Cliffs are good, especially when folks can't just turn the page - it's like a good two part tv show that makes you wait a week for the outcome. hehe. But of course, I know what's next so I am not antsy.
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Chapter 24: Pick a side.
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 24: Pick a side.
The emotional ride is - to me - normal for relationships. Anyta has really helped focus me on giving their feelings, and not just glossing over them. Your comments made me smile, remembering her beta comments. Glad I know enough to listen to her Thanks for all the reviews. I appreciate the time it takes to stop and comment. -
Chapter 17: First Time for Everything
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 17: First Time for Everything
Thought about that, but where I can write about soccer/football games, I don't know I could do justice to a fight scene were Peter - the M.A. expert is involved. Sticking to what I know -
Chapter 18: School’s Out for the Summer
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 18: School’s Out for the Summer
I almost had something happen, but I was sure folks would pillar me if I did. Still, I would be pissed too. Can't be good for his self confidence when his bf, who he is thinks is much better looking than he is [though in my mind Peter is the hot one - just sayin ] and here he is chucking wood over this new guy he meets. Hmm - is that the last we see of this??? -
Chapter 14: Hurricane Barbara
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 14: Hurricane Barbara
My worry with her - Barbara - was always and still is believability, i.e. is her reactions so outlandish, she becomes unrealistic. So far I think I haven't made her ridiculous, but wait til chapter 28 before yo answer. Oops, wasn't supposed to do that -
Chapter 9 - The Necropolis of Hurlothrumbo
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Kavrik's story chapter in Chapter 9 - The Necropolis of Hurlothrumbo
Well I am slowly catching up, only 2 chapters behind. I have just one question - are you sure you aren't a repressed mass murderer?? I mean - wow, the details of the dark places, the vivid details of the Necropolis, the zombies, the . . . everything. Two questions - One, Vas Klef is another planet - correct? Two - the vision in Chapter 6 wasn't a vision of the future but it was him seeing either what just happened or what was happening?? Or is it a future he can alter - meaning his wizard friend is still alive etc. Now I need to see what happens next. Fortunately for me, I still have chapters left to read Oh and just kidding about the Mass Murderer comment -
Yup you will have to wait a few days to see what happens when "Moms collide." I am sure the grandparents would have seen the video, but the question is do they know about the conflict between mom and son? Probably not as Barbara likes for the world to see the perfect family, that would include keeping her conflict with jason from other family members. But then again, we will see soon enough.
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Chapter 11: A Week is Not Enough
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 11: A Week is Not Enough
Darryl steps up quite a bit more in the chapters to come. Just saying, not gonna give away more -
Chapter 12: A Little Freedom is a Good Thing?
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 12: A Little Freedom is a Good Thing?
Actually, I had this discussion with someone else. The entire story is and has been in 3rd person limited. There is no omniscient. Just because a scene takes place without the main character being there, does not alter this perspective. So long as we don't hear or see things from someone else's perspective, it does not shift from 3rd to Omniscient. What you are referring to - the parts that take place when Jason is in the Student Union or after he runs off - does not contain thoughts or impression from the other characters. Just a description of actions which is acceptable so long as there are no thoughts or impressions from the other characters which I do not believe there are, but will not swear to it. I can send you a copy of the passage from the book I checked - because Anyta and I had the same chat, and I had to look it up to be sure I wasn't mistaken. But you are in good company for pointing it out. Most don't notice. -
You did promise us a different kind of story - and this was - so far - different. What's interesting is the Ronny believes he is the only one who see things clearly when in fact it appears his vision is rather cloudy. Interested to see where this goes. Nicely done so far - image what will happen when he is finally out of bed
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One week - or better said - holy shit!
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's blog entry in Reset, Reload, Redo
Nephy: Don't cross your eyes, that would inhibit your ability to write and then folks would get mad at me Krista: Thanks - I's starting to think the real need for luck is that we don't have multiple births LOL Rush: Thanks Momma, - and no ore trying to scare me with twins talk - Cia does that enough -
Thanks, Chapter 28 does reveal what Mom does in response to not only being told off by her son, hung up on, had his face and sexuality on TV, AND gets a lecture from her son's boyfriend's mother - yeah that's gonna go over well won't it??
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Monty - yes, the storm is still churning, but not everything bends before the power of a hurricane. Barbara is about to meet someone who is not going to be afraid to tell her what's what. What happens when the two speak is - going to be the subject of the next chapter Thanks for writing.
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Thanks for reading Drew - As for the cliffy - like I said at the end of the chapter, this was a perfect place to stop. 28 will be up soon enough and I promise no cliffs at the end of that chapter. Other chapters - well no promises.
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So I'm going to cheat and leave a review for the first two chapters here. You have a nice start to your story. You don't rush things, and you let them build slowly. It is always good to let us see and feel your characters before you rush into the action. I somewhat agree with Kavrik on dream sequences, BUT it works here if only to show how cautious Josiah is. That his moment of confidence was only a dream, the dream he wishes would come true, on reinforces what you have been trying to build in these two chapters. Keep up the good work.
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Naughty? Cliffs? Me? You jest right?? As for answers well I why don't I just tell everyone the ending now while I'm at it Thanks for the review and for reading. It is always good to hear from people whose work I enjoy.
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Barbara confronted her son at the worst time and place for her to get what she wanted. Not that he would have said yes tomorrow but standing in the hospital room was not going to endear him to her request. As for Amanda - well I suppose she is going to have a chat with Barbara, but the questions are, a) will Barbara listen to her, and if she does b ) will she care? And what will she do to Jason when she has to listen to someone else lecture her about her gay son? Chapter 28 has the answers. I hope.
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Chapter 7: Three's a Crowd
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 7: Three's a Crowd
I have to say someone else had the same impression - Jason irritated them too - Definitely NOT the emotion I was going for. LOL Oh well. -
Chapter 9: Skating By
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 9: Skating By
Neither did Peter evidently Just wait, things get a bit more complicated. Thanks for all the reviews, in a way each chapter is it's own little emotion or purpose. Seeing what works, and what doesn't resonate with the reader is really helpful. -
Chapter 8: Frustration
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 8: Frustration
That is who they are - Peter is more apt to give Jason pet names, is more confident using them than Jason is. He did give Peter Karate Kid but it doesn't come natural to him. What can you do?? -
Chapter 10: Christmas is a Time to . . . .
Andrew Q Gordon commented on Andrew Q Gordon's story chapter in Chapter 10: Christmas is a Time to . . . .
Go to school with a bunch of rich kids when you're not and have someone you like treat you like dirt because you were poor and well . . . yeah he has issues with making sure he can take care of himself. Sadly it doesn't get better.
