Dark

Chapter 8 Nico did not like this new plan. Not in the slightest. What was wrong with his plan? Short, quick, to the point, and not putting anyone in harm's way. <Bruce> he replied to the typed message, <this is crzy> <They'll kill you!> <It'll work> <No, ur going 2 get killed> <what happened 2 passing on my message?> Gerry made a face at the computer screen. <With GM chasing us all over the city?> <I think not> <:/>

Chapter 7 Mark and Gerry waited anxiously at the burger joint they'd found the previous night. Quiet in the early afternoon, the restaurant still smelled like stale beer and french fries, but it was somewhere they had ready access to and where they could be found relatively easily. Courtesy of the coin changer at the laundromat and a pay phone, Mark had called in a few favors. Without saying why or doing more than laughing over being in the paper, Mark wheedled out the name of a cop

Chapter 6 Gerry staggered into the living room in his clothes from the day before, his eyes red and puffy, but altogether feeling far better than when he'd fallen asleep. Blearily rubbing his face, he asked, "So, what'd the cat drag in?" Mark, seated at the table with coffee and a newspaper, looked up, blinking. He'd nodded off on the couch almost as soon as he'd sat down and his neck was paying the price this morning. With dark circles under his eyes, he looked about as bad as Gerry

haha! Me, too! We should have a celebration!

For something like this, it all depends on the story. If it's done right it's worth the pain and anger over their loss. If you think about it, for most movies these days you can sort of guess at the ending and who's going to end up with whom or which sports team is going to win the final game at the climax, but the ending isn't as important as the journey to get there.

arg! I forget that thing moves! LOL. Not fanfiction at all. Mordred was originally the product of a good friend of mine during a role-play (she is working closely with me on this). I love them both to bits. Thanks for the enthusiasm. It's a wonderful boost to my uncertainty over whether or not this is the right time to write this story.

Chapter 1 The first drops of freezing rain hit Mordred's cheek, making the skin shiver. A few more drops and the body sprawled on the lakeshore twitched, mouth frowning. Mud-caked, matted hair stuck to the ground as he levered himself into a sitting position. Thunder growled overhead and the young man looked up, letting the water wash his face, filling his mouth. "I'm alive," he said. A vast disappointment filled him and he leaned forward onto his hands, warm tears chasing the icy wa

I go outside, even just to sit. It's amazing what a little vitamin D can do, especially in winter. I'll sometimes also get a bunch of comfort foods together and chill with a book I love, to get me dreaming about things again. :hug:

You realize you have to go by your forum count, right? Currently, it's showing 451, so you've another 49 posts to go. I love Mark's suggestion, too, but ... I dunno, 'love-able lawyer' just doesn't seem to have teeth, does it? I'll have to see if I can think of something.

I seem to remember a movie that had a scene where one of the characters was trying to convince the other to be proud about her 'freak flag.' That's one of the greatest movie scenes ever. Wish I could remember the movie!

In order to skip the getting-to-know-you phase, you have to already know the other person through other means, like a friend of a friend or someone that your 'crowd' hangs out with. For more opportunities like this, you should join clubs or groups that you're interested in. Maybe through your school or church or even scouting or a ymca-type thing (for the younger folks). Someone I know who does yoga was complaining that his favorite class was being innundated with straight men and I was like, why? Well, the girls go because they love the instructor (he's gay). The guys go because the girls are there! hehe I'm far from the type of person who attracts offers of dates from random strangers, LOL -- yeah, right! -- so all of my dates have come from people that I know. My very first date was the boy I competed with for the top grade in our Chemistry class. Shocked the heck out of me when he asked. I'd had a crush on him forever. Tall, awkward red-head, wore glasses, can you say geek? haha, but it was a sweet dorkiness. We were together until he graduated, which was about a year. I dated a guy in my ROTC unit in college, but I was too aggressive for him . Other dates have come like I said from groups that I hung out with or people that I know. The go to a random party or club and approach total strangers freaks me out. I'm a spaz like that. Never been into the club scene because I can't control the panic. Same thing with bars. For me, I can go months between dates and then, like the past week, go on two or three in quick succession. It just depends. You need a little perserverance, and you need a bit of luck.

I don't think this is an overreaction -- it only feels like one to us because we're adults and have come to terms with some of these derogatory words. But think of it from the perspective of a younger person, or the kids struggling with their identities. They hear this kind of thing so often that it's ingrained in their subconscious that 'faggot' is something bad, something they don't want to be. Music is one of the worst for subliminal messages, because they get in our heads and we're humming along to the tune years after first hearing a song. How easy is it to memorize song lyrics vs the information for that test tomorrow? It's about time that someone is standing up to stop the spread of this word. I forget the term for it, but when a sub-group re-claims a derrogatory word and uses it with a different meaning, the derrogatory nature of the word will fade -- such has happened with the word 'nigger,' but again realize that this is not a national thing. There are individuals who think 'yeah, that's what I am' but there are also those who have a gut reaction like: 'I'll kill you for calling me that!' It's all based on our exposure to such things. What were your experiences growing up being called a name you hated?

. . . Virgo? Lord help us all.

Funny how threads like these can come back to life. It's funny how in my adult life I became a trainer for how to detect depression and prevent suicides when, now, I can say that I've been battling depression since I was about 12 years old. I seriously planned and almost attempted suicide the winter I was a freshman in high school. I was 13. It's hard to quantify something so intensely personal as suicide. To this day, none of my family know about how close I almost came to suicide. Do I get mad at myself because I failed? Yes, I do. Sometimes. Some days I'm relieved and some days I think about what a waste that would have been, all the things I wouldn't have been able to do. These are the thoughts I've written down for myself and read and re-read when I hit my periodic depressive cycles. Knowing what I know now, if I went back, I'd probably find a different and more permanent means of offing myself, but for better or worse, that wasn't the decision I made at the time and I have to believe I'm still here for a reason. I believe that all life is a gift, but that the gift is the impact we make on other people. I think about all the ill, neglected, and abused children and what happens to the people around them. I believe that a death can have meaning and if there's a fate, maybe that's one person's fate (to die) and it's another person's fate to be affected by it. If you want to read something depressing about a time nearly 20 years ago, you can continue reading below. Cheers, everyone. My one suicide attempt came about because, out of the blue, I remembered I'd been molested when I was 8. Why I remembered that I don't know. I would have happily lived my life without ever knowing that. I think. The worst part about it is that to this day I can't remember everything. I'm not sure if I was raped or not. How messed up is that? So, here I was floundering over my sexuality and I hit myself with that. *sigh* For some reason, slitting my wrists never occurred to me. Where we lived at the time, there was a huge culvert behind our house and at the bottom of that was a river and dam. A footbridge connected our side of the culvert to the other, where the supposed rich kids lived. That winter was very, very rainy and we had major flooding. I remember wondering what everyone would think when I was gone, what they would say or do, and how they'd react. Looking back I don't believe I exhibited any of the "warning signs" I was later trained to look for, such as saying goodbye to everyone, giving away personal possessions, etc. It was only after my attempt that I began acting out and being defiant. On one of the worst days of rain, when the water was so high that it covered the bridge, I waded out there to the middle and held onto the railing and was going to jump. Out of the downward cycle of thoughts, I remember thinking that I was surely going to mess this up if I did it, because I could swim all too well and, knowing my luck, I'd just hit a rock and break an arm and someone would have to come rescue me and how embarrassing would that be! I clung to that railing in the pouring rain and cried and shivered. I ended up going home. I list that as one of the 3 worst times of my life. If not for the guy I had just met, I would have attempted again (with a far higher likelihood of success) while in college. I'd say I've never felt worse than I did last xmas suffering from the swine flu. Doctors kept telling me I was fine -- "yeah," is what I told them, "and I'm 'fine' because I'm sitting in the emergency room on xmas eve with a fever of 105 and sweats and chills. Sure, I'm 'fine.'" I was sick between Thanksgiving and New Years, about 6 weeks of constant cold symptoms, bronchitis, sinus infections, etc. It was horrible. I wanted to die, but I didn't want to kill myself -- weird, huh? LOL.

New Year's Greetings Everything was the same: same time, same place, same music, and even, hopefully, the same people. Ah! And there she was. Jack stood by the bar, looking up at the floor above and a pair of long legs peeking out from under a black leather mini-skirt. Glossy brown hair shone under the revolving lights, falling in a jumble of waves to about mid-back. He couldn't see them from where he stood, but God! did he remember those blue-green eyes and pert mouth. No, he hadn

With all the children who get kidnapped or are otherwise lost every day, I would do it. We care more for our kids than our pets, right? so why do only pets and vet offices have this? I would certainly do the electronic chip if it was available -- not right now, because the hackers are more proficient than the security measures, but I'd certainly be up for replacing all the individual, compartmentalized electronic files with one, located on me. Face it, the government already tracks us (taxes, anyone?), but it's handled piecemeal. Anyone who's ever had to replace a stolen wallet or lost birth certificate or SS card or marriage license ... all these individual pieces of paper... Just think, if you buy one thing off a bad website, or forget to shred just one piece of mail with confidential info -- that's an identity theft problem. Even when we go to a restaurant, we're trusting the person we give our credit card to, and sometimes that's a bad idea. With an embedded RFID chip working the way they ought to, most of those privacy things we fret over would be gone. Sure we'd have some new issues to worry about, but since when has technology made a jump without people getting their knickers in a twist over it?

Last New Year's Eve, Jack spent an amazing night with a stranger. He didn't even know her name. Can he marshal the nerve to ask her out this year?

Oh, so sweet! Sayhl is so stubborn, and I just love his mother! I feel like we really got to know him, but Gabe is still so blank. It was interesting starting the story from the break-up, and I really wish we could have learned more about the two of them together. The little bit about Steve and Danny kinda seemed out of place, but I'll bet they have their own story! The two of them are intriguing.

Chocolate rather than beer? Interesting choice. I do love a good german choc cake ...

Well, you are certainly yummy. Then again, all that German beer might have something to do with making German men attractive. Really? oh, dear. I couldn't remember.

Awkward! whew, what a rush for poor Blake. It seemed like I was right there with him. Cutie Haze just doesn't know what to do, does he? It's interesting how their friendship is being built, the exchange of secrets and all.

There's plenty of folks round here I wouldn't mind snuggling up with! On another note, if you've read the status updates recently, somebody did go out to Germany to spend time with a GA interest. Sounds like it's been a wonderful trip so far. Totally filled my romance quota for the holidays!

Kate is cute! Scary (I know some folks who drive like that!), but cute. I'm so intrigued now, so many questions waiting to be answered. Way to hook 'em in!

You're right -- that was a long story. But very interesting! Amazing how names evolve over time.

Chapter 2 Mordred liked Whispering Cliffs. He found this revelation disconcerting because, he reflected, he did not like people. He stared out over the ocean and pondered this. He watched as the sun rose and cast all the world in a light orange-pink glow, the colors diffused in the early morning fog. Soon enough the fog would be gone, replaced by the heat of lazy, late summer days. Lazy for most people, that is. A certain someone was even now wide awake and had been for some time