AFriendlyFace

Wow! That's quite a story! In response to the question "What do you do with your exs?" I strongly suspect you're the only person on here who'll respond with "nab blackmailers" Thanks for sharing and I'm glad it all worked out -Kevin

If only everyone could be so self-assured

That's what I'm thinking too. I didn't even try to articulate what I was thinking about this in my last post, but I'll take a stab at it now. I think that considering how complicated many GLBT people's relationship is with their parents, it's more common, and in some cases expected even, that they won't give their blessings or get along. Friends on the other hand often act as a sort of "surrogate family" for many GLBT people. As a result I think in many ways it might be more devastating if one's friends didn't accept the new partner. Yes, I think this will be much the case with my own mother. I suppose some of this is my fault, I perhaps haven't pressed the issue as much as I should have after I came out, I also haven't even mentioned any of my short-term relationships to her (haven't had a particularly long-term one). -Kevin

Dude, I'm loving your taste in music!

See! Way back when Eric was presumed dead I told you guys he was too important a part of the story (and too much one of CJ's favourites) to kill off! LOL Speaking of character development, I was just thinking what an excellent job CJ had done with developing the character of all the major and supporting characters! Well done! LOL, after the description of the "upchuck session" the last thing I wanted to hear about was more noodles! I've been wondering very much about Gunter myself. I'm not exactly mistrustful of him, but I agree that he seems the most enigmatic character at this point! LOL are you guys suggesting a three-way between Eric, Steve, and Wilde? :0 ...you might be right LOL I dunno, Eric's sexuality is a bit ambiguous at this point. My take would be that he's simply not sexually rigid but allows himself much more fluidity than most people. -Kevin

Well I certainly didn't mean to hi-jack the thread and turn it into a discussion of bisexuality. So getting back on top, and speaking about something I'm very interested in, how do you guys think Joe Clump is going to play into all of this? Right now it looks like he's pretty well removed from everything. We don't really know whether or not Jerry is aware of what happened. Some have suggested he might have even instigated it! My question then is why would he do that? If he did do that what mechanisms do you think he employed? Is Joe still in danger of having someone come to "finish the job" or was he meant to go through this but to survive? In general how do you guys think he'll tie into the rest of the story? -Kevin

Beautifully said, Steve. I think we can all learn a great deal from that post. Thank you for sharing it with us, Kevin

I voted yes for both, because obviously these would be major advantages for any relationship. I think it all really comes down to how any disapproval is handled. If I don't personally like my friend's boyfriend I'm not going to sit there and criticise him nor am I going to try to break them up. I'll suck it up and be as polite and friendly as possible with the knowledge that this is someone important to my friend. I'll also hope that over time I'll grow to see more of his positive qualities. If on the other hand it goes beyond a personal dislike and I actually feel like he has the potential to hurt my friend, I might gently broach the topic, tell my friend my concerns, but let him know that I'll respect and support him in his relationship, and that he can come to me if he needs to talk. Finally, if it goes beyond personal dislike and fearing that he'll hurt my friend to the point that he's already doing my friend damage then I'll try much harder to get my friend to listen. If he absolutely won't I might have a talk with the other guy to try to get him to stop doing whatever is he's doing that's bad for my friend. If none of that works I'll just butt out but be as supportive as I can be to my friend. If/when the relationship ends I'll also make a point of not saying "I told you so", but instead just doing my best to help him get over the person. However, those are all extreme cases. I honestly expect to like anyone my friends are dating. I try to have the attitude that anyone they care about must be a good person. Also, I feel that as a friend it's my primary role not to interrogate the guy and look for every little flaw, but to simply make an honest effort to be a good friend whose presence doesn't complicate things. I used the perspective of "as a friend" because I have quite a bit of first hand experience in that realm. However, I'm pretty sure I would feel almost exactly the same as a parent. I think the number one complication that comes up between friends and their friend's boyfriend/girlfriend is jealousy. I suspect this often comes up with parents and their child's significant other as well. It's only natural to be a little bit jealous when someone you care about starts choosing to spend time with someone else over you, but the thing to remember is that unless it is an unhealthy relationship or the person is doing something dangerous, it's really the "natural order of things" so to speak. I think the best thing you can do is take and enjoy the time your friend/child offers you, make it clear that you'll still be there no matter what, and then just sort of sigh and find other ways to occupy your time without becoming possessive or jealous. Just my thoughts, take care all -Kevin

It's good to remain friends with you exes but I think it can also cause some serious trouble. A very good friend of mine has this cycle of breaking up with her girlfriend, they stay in each other's lives, then eventually get back together...then they do it all again, but it's torture for her every time it happens, and I really don't think it'll ever work out, so they're both just hurting themselves and each other. I really wish they wouldn't remain friends or talk at all

Dude, that's a really powerful song! How about: Quasimodo by Lifehouse You could be right and i'll be real honesty won't be a pain you'll have to feel 'cause i don't need your approval to find my worth i've been trapped inside of my own mind afraid to open my eyes to what i'd find i don't want to live like this anymore there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them fall there goes this feeling that has no meaning there goes the world off of my shoulders there goes the world off of my back there it goes does it scare you that i can be something different than you would it make you feel more comfortable if i wasn't you can't control me you can't take away from me who i am there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them fall there goes this feeling that has no meaning there goes the world off of my shoulders there goes the world off of my back you can't change me you can't break me there goes the world off of my shoulders there goes the world off of my back have you ever felt that your only comfort was your cage your not alone i have felt the same as you have you felt like your secrets give you away you're not alone i have been there too everyone is looking and everyone is laughing but i think everyone feels the same everybody wants to feel okay everybody wants to everybody wants to feel there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them fall there goes this feeling that has no meaning there goes the world off of my shoulders there goes the world off of my back 'cause you can't change me you can't break me there goes the world off of my shoulders I swear it's the best song I've ever heard about coming out! I suspect it wasn't written explicitly for that purpose, but if you listen to it that's what it seems to speak!

Garbage - Push It

Well, I was thinking about it, and really I wouldn't even object if they were "friends with benefits", but did have the prerogative of hooking up with other guys. It's just the differentiation of how they will behave with one gender over the other that bothers me. If they made no distinction between the two I wouldn't care. Basically either monogamy OR an open relationship/F*** buddies set up. It's definitely the double standard that I object to.

I agree that it is! But I was unaware that they were seeing someone besides each other. I thought they'd just been living the same sort of lifestyle as Eric and Jon and hooking up with random girls (and in Wilde's case the occasional guy) after the concerts. I don't really object to that, but I do object to bisexuals sort of getting a "free pass" out of monogamy when they enter a relationship. LOL, I "go to bat" for bisexuals a lot. I'm always arguing that they're just as trustworthy and capable of monogamy as anyone else. So I guess that's why I'm especially sensitive to instances when they opt out of it and essentially prove the negative stereotypes correct.

I did listen to it! It was very good, I think my new favourite is "Cup of Coffee" though!

Actually, last I heard (which was about 3 or 4 years ago) research on adoption shows that in most cases the parents are better off if the child doesn't look that much like them. The reason is that genetics still play a major role in child development, so it can be frustrating if the child looks like you and you're raising him/her in one fashion and he/she is turning out in another. If the child looks significantly different you're less likely to have those unconscious expectations that the child will still turn out like you.

Welcome to the world of GA blogging! Good luck with your school stuff -Kevin

I like the rhyme scheme! It does have a short, to the point, cheeky sort of desperation to it. Nice job!

Congrats

Well that was both short and disturbing lol

That's a good question, Richie! I think if I were positive I would only date other positive people.

Ahh yes, as I recall he got on that boat when he suggested that he didn't want a sex scene between Jude and Quinn! My how time does fly!

Actually I do remember you. Welcome back

This is an interesting topic. I definitely think there's an element of "wish fulfillment" at play here. Still I don't object to the use of the straight best friend at all, they're usually an interesting character, especially Dom's

By and large I pretty much agree with Menzo I definitely like Aaron as a character better than Dennis as a character. Of course so far Dennis has more going for him in the redemption department, but I still prefer Aaron as a character. I also remember championing his redemption vehemently when DD was first being posted...pity it never came to full fruition