AFriendlyFace

Oh my Chase, I'm so so sorry. That must be very hard for you and the family. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry you're feeling bored Dom. I can suggest a few of my hobbies, but of course personal taste varies. I like to paint (suck at it but it's really fun), I play cards online alot (mostly spades but several other games too)...Of course you already know about reading and writing. It's also fun to cook long, eleborate meals if you have plenty of time. And I really like to go for walks too. As for finding a good temporary job, I'm sure there should be quite a few available this time of year. And it probably wouldn't hurt to go in and ask the people at the Christmas Tree place if they're hiring. Enjoy your relaxed time.....oh yeah one more fun suggestion (that probably wouldn't help much for saving money), you could do alot of shopping and eating out. That's really fun! I'm looking forward to doing my Christmas shopping this year. Take Care! AFriendlyFace/Kevin

So you guys ever hear something which makes perfect sense in the context, but you just stop and realize that if you actually try to picture it literally and take it out of it's context it's REALLY funny? I pretty much do that with everything. It makes life so much more interesting. I guess it's because I'm easily distractable and a fairly creative thinker. Here's one interesting example which took place a few days ago. I was sitting in my psychology of neurophsyiology class, the subject matter of which I absolutely hate, listening to my professor, whom I absolutely adore! (she's so fun and whacky), Anyway she was talking about animals becoming dependent on drugs and alcohol. And she was talking about how difficult it was to get the rats drunk, because "it's really hard to get a rat to drink straight alcohol." I mean ok that makes sense, rats don't like bitter tastes, it's a perfectly logical thing to say in the context. But if you just take it as a random comment, it's really funny. Even funnier if you actually imagine the little guy sitting on a tiny bar stool at a little miniature bar talking to the bar tender. Bar tender: "Can I get you some tequila shots?" Rat: "NO! I can't stand straight alcohol, but you can whip me up a Strawberry Margarita if you want." (The little guys like sweets) Of course it's even funnier when I realized I was just like the Rat! (I like mixed drinks better too, and I can't get enough sweets!) Then there's just the absudity which can be seen by a 3rd party witnessing a couple of perfectly normal people having a serious conversation about something mundane. I can still remember a couple of years ago (yeah that's how funny I thought it was, which is odd in and of itself considering it was rediculously NORMAL) I was in a waffle house and the waitress and cook were standing around talking. The cook says "you know I never even knew we had a ham salad" waitress: "you didn't", cook: "nope, I knew about the turkey salad, and the club salad, but no one ever orders the ham salad", waitress: "you're right the ham salad isn't as popular as the turkey, but some people get it."......they just went on and on about the apparent existance of the ham salad. And personally I think the phrase "I never even knew we had a ham salad." is kinda funny taken out of context. I mean imagine it taken REALLY out of context, and put into some new context. Just picture some poor women pacing back and forth in her living room, waiting for her husband and children to get home. The phone rings. "hello" says the women "hello, may I speak with Mrs. Jones" This is Mrs. Jones" "Ma'am, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, there's been an accident." "What! oh my heavens no!" "I'm afraid your husband ran a red light on the way home, the children are fine, but your husband is in intensive care." **Silence** "Ma'am are you okay?" "....yes, its jus...it's just that.... I never got a chance to tell him...I mean I never... Well "I never even knew we had a ham salad" Then there's the ever popular thoughts I have that make me stop and say to myself "wait, are you actually debating this in your head?". Maybe I've just got a strange internal monolgue, but last week I went to Wal-Mart, and among other things I was in the market for (see I think THAT'S kinda funny, I was "in the market for",,,I was in wal-mart because.....lol anyway) spaghetti sauce. So I'm walking up and down the isle saying to myself "well here's the salsa but I can't find the spaghetti sauce.", then I finally found it and I was trying to pick out which one to get "well this one's chunky, but this one has onions and bell peppers, I like onions and bell peppers. Oh wait here's one with mushrooms, I LOVE mushrooms, oh but it's more expensive than the one with onions and bell peppers. What's the sodium in these things anyway? Gee, if only they had one with mushrooms AND onions and bell peppers." And at the point I just stopped. I mean how many people walking past me in the isle would be trying to figure out what I'm thinking, and go with "gee, if only they had one with mushrooms AND onions and bell peppers.". It's actually a really soothing thought. I mean regardless of life's stresses and my other obligations, I'm still actually taking time to lement the fact that they don't make spaghetti sauce with mushrooms, onions and bell peppers. Of course it's actually really fun to try to figure out what's going on in OTHER people's heads while they're shopping. You know the kinda thing, where you see someone picking out strawberries and limes and things. And you just assume they're thinking "Geez, maybe now I can get that pesky little rodent drunk."

hey Slaveboy! Glad to hear you fixed your tummy ache. That sounds absolutely delicious too by the way. I love hot chocolate, w/ marshmellows think I'll try adding all that other stuff next time too lol. Anyway awesome to hear that you're enjoying math. It's actually still been recent enough for me that I did remember that, but chances are I won't in another 5 years lolol. I always loved algebra alot, and was more tolerant but not mad about geometry and trig. Algebra was so cool though! anyway I hope you have a great day, take care

Hey Xan, that was a dirty trick of her to play. One question though. Are you sure you did dodge the bullet? Just by reading what you wrote, I got the impression that it sent whoever you put for "crush" to Lorena. Since you put her name for your name and his name for crush. Are you sure it didn't still just send his name as "crush"? Or does it (hopefully) show both names as a couple? Anyway I really hope you're right and everything worked out fine. Best of luck and take care!

AWW I'm sorry to hear you guys only seem to take these "relaxing days" when something bad happens. I probably treat myself better than I have any right to, but I actually do that kinda thing pretty often (like yesterday....and once last week...and...) Anyway it's good to treat yourself. But try to do it every now and then when you're in a "good place" in life. You'll enjoy it more! That said I need to get to work on picking up the mess and work I created with my fun day yesterday. Warmest wishes, AFriendlyFace (Kevin)

Hey Viv! I'm so glad to hear that you had such an awesome weekend! Hey whatcha writin? Can I read it?

what's Brokeback mountain (forgive me if I misspelled that)?

So THAT's why the priest was in purple sunday .....lol it was kinda something I was vaguely aware of, I'm glad ya told me thou. So I think I'll download that song and see how I like it. Have a great evening.

Hey Green, I know I've never posted in your blog before, but I hope you don't mind this time. Anyway I think it's mostly true that no one was trying to hurt you, but it's easy to understand why their actions did. Speaking for myself I can't stand to feel "out of the loop". I'd have been a little hurt to find out that two of my closest friends had secretly paired off when no one was looking too. Also it's TOTALLY logical that it would make you feel better that Selene didn't know either.....no one wants to be the "last to know". So your feelings are very VERY reasonable.....but try to see it from their point of view too (of course I don't really know the situation just takin a shot, based on normal human emotions). There's a good chance this hasn't been going on very long.....in fact is it possible that today was the first day? I mean maybe something just kinda happened between them right before you came in, and that's why it was awkward, and perhaps they just kinda "picked up" where they left off. And even if it isn't the first time, chances are it is pretty new still, otherwise they probably wouldn't be going to the trouble of keeping it a secret. Maybe they don't really know where it's going, and don't want all the pressure and expectations of their friends. So they find it easier to keep it quiet until they sort out their feelings. Also they may even have had your feelings in mind (perhaps not the best way to do it but still), I mean maybe they didn't want you to feel left out, or embarrassed. Also the fault you have with them isn't that they did it but that they didn't tell you. Well if it's newish, they really may not have had the natural chance to tell you. I mean there's nothing to tell until it happens, and it's possible it's only just starting ot happen. If people are feeling that "magic moment" for the first time, and just starting to lean in for that first kiss or whatever, chances are no one would really pull back and say, "ok so lets tell everyone important to us about this". Anyway I hope I didn't offend you, and really I'd have felt the EXACT same way in all likelihood, this is just how I"d have tried to make myself feel better, so I figured I'd give it a shot with you too. Anyway take care and I hope you can work stuff out with them.

Congrats on your day off! Good luck catching up on all your homework.

It's the dancing in the truck that sounds weird, naked or not. No I leave my clothes on in the truck , it's usually just after or befor a shower/bath that it's naked dancing ;-)

Ok so I think today went better than it should have actually. I mean I woulda thought I'd have gotten really hurt and as a result irritable and grumpy, after what happened, but I managed not to. So let's see how shall I tell this story? I have this really good friend at work, she's one of my best friends and definitely my best "work friend". Well anyway about a year ago she met this guy, and they VERY slowly started dating, and now it's pretty serious. Anyway this is great IMO. See before she met him, while she was really doing ok overall, she's, I think, in a better place now. She'd just gotten out of a bad relationship, and she was having a lot of trouble getting over the guy, plus he was practically stalking her. So anyway this new guy is definitely better for her, regardless of what else can be said. See he's really religious, in fact he's litterally a missionary of sorts. Anyway she was very slow to finally start seeing him, but he seemed like a nice guy, and everytime she asked my opinion I always told her I thought he was a good guy. Of course I could tell early on he was a jealous guy, see his names Kelvin, and my name is Kevin. So apparently she kept accidently calling him "Kevin" and what from what she told me, it always drove him crazy. Anyway I can see why that would make him jealous, and once we actually met we got along fine, so I didn't think there was any problem. Well quite a few people in her family thought there WAS a problem.....see they're an interacial couple, and while I don't like to use the term, we're right in, what you could call "redneck territory". Especially our home towns (we didn't meet till we both moved, but we're from the same area). Anyway her grandmother even "disownded" her. Add to that the fact that the guy's very conservative nature ticked off all her liberal friends, and the fact that they were spending so much time together (and thus she was spending less time with her other friends) kinda alienated another good portion of her friends, and basically I was one of the only ones she could talk to about him, and be around with him. Anyway after they'd been dating awhile, she started making some changes. Most of which I think are good changes. She quit smoking and drinking, started exercising more, cut back on caffiene (she's got a heart murmur which it isn't good for), and also started going to church regularly, and getting very involved with her faith. I thought this was great! She's much happier now, and healthier. Well anyway while all this was taking place, I noticed she was less eager to spend time with me, especially alone. No big deal I thought, I figured for one thing they just needed to spend more time together anyway. I'm not one of those people who freaks out when their friends start to seemingly become "joined at the hip" with their S.O. I mean I figure that's perfectly natural, and healthy, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Also I kinda figured there was some jealousy issues there, and I really didn't want to make things worse. So I just backed off a little. Well I could tell we were "drifting apart" a little, and today is when things finally came to a head. See, it turns out she'd joined this very conservative religous women's group, that does a book study. And the book they're studying is "Every Woman's Battle". Well from what she was telling me this book's very adament about the fact that women shouldn't spend time with the opposite sex. That they should refrain from serious/personal/meaningful conversations with their males friends, and that in general only women could "minister" to other women, and only men can minister to other men. So basically if she's got a problem she's going to another woman, and if a guy comes to her with a problem she'll encourage him to talk to another guy about it. Well basically to be blunt, I think this is all a bunch of nonsense! First of all I think that a diverse group of friends, of both sexes, and of all backgrounds and heritages is only enriching, and good for people. I think it's true that there are some differences between the sexes, but I think the similarities are more significant. I think it's true that it's helpful to talk to someone who can understand what you're going through, because they've been there. I mean I'd like to have a close gay, male friend to talk to about stuff, (probably an important factor in why I'm here). And yeah in general I guess it's helpful to talk to other guys about some stuff. But by and large I think that most people are capable of understanding what other people are going through, especially if they're close with that person, and the person takes the time to tell them. I mean it's all the same human emotions: joy, anger, sadness, fear, hope, excitement, guilt, love. Most people can identify with these and understand that that's what the person is feeling even if they've never felt it themselves because of the exact same situation, and besides that who's going to find someone who's been in the EXACT SAME SITUATION? I mean I even asked "so what if your brother comes to you for something?" and she said "I'd give him Kelvin's number.".....I mean I think that's just silly. Who wouldn't feel more comfortable talking to their sister than their sister's boyfriend. Especially since she and her brother are fairly close, and he doesn't even know Kelvin that well. Anyway she basically made it clear that she wasn't interested in having close friendships with her guy friends anymore. That it just "isn't right" and "too much temptation". So I guess I should mention I'm not "out" to her, but the thing is there's no point. We actually have a 3rd mutual friend who's gay, and I've been able to tell how she feels about it. She's "okay" with it, in that she isn't going to insult or deride him, and she's willing to be his friend (or at least she was lol), but she just doesn't "get it", she thinks it's morally wrong, and she doesn't understand it in the first place. She also thinks it's some kinda temporary thing which could just instantly go away or something. I mean she even said he was no exception "he's still a guy" she said. I don't really understand her point, he's NOT going to try anything with her, and nor am I for that matter, she'd have to like tie us down and attack us or something, which doesn't seem likely. But I guess in her mind, we may still try something. So anyway the point is there's no use in me sitting her down and trying to explain to her that I really wouldn't be interested in the first place. Besides all that I can't justify trying to do it. I mean first off I don't make judgements about people's lives if they're happy, and they aren't hurting themselves or others. I mean if they're living morally upright lives, and they're happy, it isn't my place to tell them they're wrong, even if I think they are. I mean this obivously isn't a part of my faith, even though broadly we're both Christians, she's obivously got different views. I can't really justify saying they're wrong. Especially since she is happy, and it's working for her. I mean maybe it isn't "wrong" for her. I DON'T think it's a healthy way for her to handle her relationships with the important guys in her life, I mean I'm assuming that while she's obivously comfortable being alone with Kelvin, she'd probably even encourage him to talk to someone else about his problems. Doesn't seem good to me, but right now they're fine, and who knows, they both share these views, so maybe it'll work for them. I guess all I can do is back off, remain a casual friend, and let her "fight this battle" on her own. It's ashame because I'd have had her back if she'd have let me, but I guess some things you have to do by yourself (or with your same gendered friends). So anyway it hurts, and I'm definitely out one very good, close friend, but it's not my place to stop her if I don't think she's messing up her life (and overall I really don't, she is happier, and in a better place now). And it would just be selfish to try.

Thanks Coming! And as I said in your blog, I think your story is awesome and I'm so glad for you. Thanks for telling us all about it, really made me feel better about humanity . Anyway take care

LOL thanks Michael :-) Yeah I suppose part of my problem is I start too many things/think about too many thinks at once. LOL and You're right I do get quite a few funny looks in traffic, but actually I don't mind at all. There's something of an entertainer in me, I just pretend not to notice other people have noticed my one man concert. I figure that way we BOTH have fun, gives them something to laugh at too

I've been wanting to see that movie! So it was good huh? Sad? Awesome! LOL I love sad movies,,,I hope I cry too

Again, I want to thank each of you very very much for your wonderful and kind support, it's meant ALOT to me. Thanks everyone! I hope you all have excellent lives, with much happiness and love abounding

So pretty much all my life I've liked really lively, fast, up tempo music. Which means I was actually very much into the "pop punk" scene because even though the lyrics are usually a little grim, the beat is (IMO) infectious. Actually I usually like the lyrics too, they may be dark, but they're usually witty and full of word play. Anyway as a result of my musical preferences few people would describe me as a sophisticated listener. Does that matter? Nope not a bit, I like it and that's all that really matters to me. Anyway on that note, I've been addicted to "dance, dance" by Fall Out Boy. I've listened to it probably about 25 times or so in the last 6 hours. I'm always like that with music. When I like a song I just keep playing it and playing it. Once a few years ago my roommate (back when I used to have a roommate), was leaving for church (which lasts an hour, plus commuting time to and from), anyway I was listening to "Hero" by The Verve Pipe (another fine song IMO) upon the time of departure and darnit if I didn't realize THAT was the only song I listened to (over and over) the ENTIRE time, upon the home arrival. I actually like most types of music though, including the exact opposite, really sad, slow, melencholy songs. About the only stuff I don't like is "easy listening" as they call it, I think it's because I need music to actively engage me, if it doesn't it just seems like a distrubing background noise to me, and stresses me out. Which is probably why I can't read or write with any music playing, all the songs I like make me focus (and thus divide my attention too much,,,,heck I'm already distracted enough to start with), and I simply don't like music I don't actively focus on. So where was I going with this? I can't remember Anyway "Dance, Dance", good song, especially if you want to....well dance, dance. I actually don't dance though, not in public anyway. I sing and dance a lot in my apartment (and sometimes my truck), but usually not where anyone else can see.....well for one thing the majority of the time I'm dancing I'm naked anyway, so I wouldn't want too many people watching in the first place. Anyway all this seemingly pointless rambling is serving a purpose. It's distracting me from the fact that I've got to come up with a really good, really short fictional story FAST. I need said story to apply for grad. school. Which I'm still not sure I'm making the right decision with in the first place. It's so messed up, I remember when I graduated from High School and had to pick a major in the first place, there were like a hundred things I all really wanted to do, and I had to try to pick my favorite. I mean I wanted to do the psychology, I wanted to teach, I WANTED to (but didn't think they were practical) write and act. I wanted to maybe do marketing/advertizing. and a whole bunch of other things. Of course I ended up doing the psychology and eventually double majoring with sociology. Then a few months ago I realized I was "selling out" by not pursuing writing, so I decided I'd be applying to grad. school for writing instead of psyc. or socio. Well great except now I'm wondering if that's really best either? It's like I went from wanting to do EVERYTHING to trying to figure out what I can force myself to do and enjoy. I mean I would like to write, and I think I'm a rather creative writer, and I enjoy the process. The only problem is my ever shrinking attention span. I'm just not that focused anymore, I don't know if I can sit down and bash out a few pages at a time without wandering away to see if I turned the stove off (which I'm getting better about BTW). It's really messed up, when I was a kid I used to have amazing powers of concentration. Seriously, I could easily sit quietly and read ANYTHING for hours and stay totally focused on what I was reading. I could also complete most tasks in one good chuck without getting distracted. Now I feel like I've got a 3 second short term memory, and I'm constantly being bombarded by random, distracting, usually pointless thoughts. I used to ALWAYS make it a point to read something to the end of the next chapter, now I literally stop mid-sentence sometimes and walk away.....It's like "He opened the door to find a ve...." hey I wonder where I left my glass of water and off I go in search of before mentioned water. Of course I usually find something else to get distracted by in the kitchen (where I've often left the freshly filled glass sitting near the fridge), then I usually drop by the bathroom, then decide it's time to call so and so, which of course means trying to find my phone, which I usually find somewhere in my room, at which point I see the opened book and instead of calling whoever, I begin to wonder what he found when he opened the door. It's gotten so bad that I've literally begun to forget what question I asked when people give me an answer. "yeah, last Wednesday"....."uh sorry, what'd I ask?" Granted that usually happens when they finish their previous thought before going back to my question, but still. So what's wrong with me? Seriously? I'd guess ADD/ADHD and indeed that would make sense if I was like 9, but like I said I was a calm, focused kid, it's only in the last couple of years I've become a walking commercial for Concerta. Another interesting thing to note is that as a kid I didn't have a particularly large amount of energy. I just kinda sat around and prefered the lazy modern stuff, TV, Video games, as well as reading and board games and stuff. Now I actually am a big ball of energy. I'm all over the place, and I often feel like running if I'm going somewhere (I usually don't because it'd be kinda odd and socially unacceptable to just sprint into the bank, run up to the counter, and while swaying back and forth exclaim "I wanna make a deposit please!" Heck it actually sounds like fun though, when I was a kid I've thought I was an idiot.......I'd have probably been right too Oh I actually did have a theory on it though (almost got distracted and forgot,,,,go figure ) Ridlin and other meds that work on ADD are stimulants, as is caffiene of course. Well I USED to drink a lot of caffiene, as a small child I drank like litters of Dr.Pepper, and I got on Coffee and Tea pretty early. But about a year ago I gave up drinking caffiene entirely (I still get some with my chocolate addiction though). Anyway is it possible that I was like "self medicating" all along with the caffiene? And now that I truly am, for the most part, stimulant free I can't focus?? Of course the really messed up thing is that I'm happier this way. Who wouldn't rather feel like running than feel like they could barely lift their feet? Besides I'm healthier now too. But is it worth my mind?? Oh well I'll forget about it soon anyway :wacko:

Hey Slaveboy I agree with Michael and Snow dog, sounds like the guy is into you. And I mean if you really do think he's gay and cute, you don't have anything to lose with a little well placed flirting. On a side note. Do you have trouble finding jeans that fit? I wear 30x32 (or 29x32 if I feel like being noticed lol), anyway I have a really hard time finding stuff in my size, anything 30 or under tends to be 30 or 28 in length I find. Anyway on yet another side note, I also saw Harry Potter 4, it was really good, no comments about the actors though, I'm a little too old lol.

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well Dom. I hope you feel better soon. And I think James is right, you'd better take care of yourself and see that that cold doesn't turn into anything worse. Also, I agree with you, Mice (and rodents in general) are kinda cute, but yeah not so much fun to have in the house.

LOL don't worry NotTed, I'll probably take up bridge in a few years myself. I did learn and play a little bit a few years ago, but then I kinda got bored and went back to spades and rook...Ever play those? LOL I agree Slaveboy, Faith Hill is very attractive, and lately I've been really addicted to "like we never loved at all", but heck alot of her stuff is really good. And don't feel bad about liking alternative, there's wonderful songs in every genre. LOL don't stop being "squishy" I love hearing stuff like that, it's inspiring, and it must be awesome, I'm glad for you. LOL now when it comes to the radiocarbon dating stuff I confess I don't envy you a bit Well I can pretend I'm an artist I guess. I mean I plan to write, that's artistic. And I do paint occasionally, but it's totally not artistic at all, it's just me acting like a little kid with water colors. LOL and I always try to be entertaining, does that count?

Thanks Everyone!

LOL I do like this format. I'm: -5'10'' -Reddish dark blonde hair (right now, but it's naturally a medium to light brown,,,I think ) -22 -male -Ambidextrous, but self taught and still lean right handed -Gay, with maybe some bisexual tendencies -ENFJ (I believe in psychology, but if you want the astrology), Virgo -A liberal Catholic, who identifies strongly with evangelical, non-denominational (non-fundamentalist) Christians -I plan to be a writer, and come up with ideas all the time, don't often have the discipline to write them down tho -I love games, especially cards, of which Spades (a partnership game w/ a trump suit) is my favorite -I read a pretty good bit -I like almost all types of music, but generally I like music that engages me rather than playing in the background, and I have to have silence if I'm writing or reading. ( I don't think my limited attention span can handle any extra stimulation ) -Single, but interested in finding something long-term and serious (I'll take it slow though, I just won't waste my time (and feelings) on something I know is temporary and casual) -Smart by all testable criteria, but I hate saying stuff like that. I do score well on intelligence and other standardized tests though, and I learn quickly so I suppose it's true. -As far as Athletics go, I'm pretty good if I'm naturally good at the sport. If I'm not I soon lose interest in it. alot like regular games actually, plus I think that in general with team and partnership stuff if I'm not doing really well I feel guilty about holding everyone back and so I quit playing. I never feel like that myself though with the weaker players, I'm there to have fun, but if I'm not good I leave so people that AREN'T just there to have fun, but also really want to win don't have to put up with me,,,if that makes any sense. Either way I usually enjoy being phsyically active. -Honesty, well in general I'm pretty honest, but I'm not at all blunt, I'm NOT one of those people someone goes to to "give it to em straight"....I'm pretty much going to dilute anything harsh or unpleasent as much as possible. I can't help it,,,,and actually I handle stuff better myself too, when people aren't that blunt, but just hint around and let me catch on myself. Have a great day everyone

Hey everyone,,,don't mean to crash a private "GAC" party or anything, but I do have two questions. I gather GAC stands for Gay author committee member, but what are they really?....I'm sure you guys are doing a great job though, since everything seems to be going so smoothly :-)......also LIVE CHAT, what?? I didn't know that was possible through this site (though I did suspect there must be a way), how would I go about doing it? Also I'm so sorry to hear of all your trouble Kitty. That sounds really rough, I"m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope you are able to happily make your new home in the Pacific Northwest like you'd said. I live in La myself, and sadly know quite a few people who were badly impacted by the hurricanes. Personally however it wasn't too bad where I am, and apart from losing power for about 5 days (which is really quite trivial), I can't complain. Anyway I'm so sorry all that happened to you, and best of luck!

Well first off I want to thank Michael, Nick and Reaper very very much for the supportive comments they made. It really meant alot to me and made things easier, Thanks guys . So anyway I decided I'd tell her this afternoon when I got home from work,,,,,,and I did. And it was really good. I'd prepared myself for the possibility of crying, or something. I even tried to think it would be normal and OK if there was some yelling or something. But none of that ever happened. I successfully managed the "so let's talk" kinda thing, and then getting across that it was going to be important etc. I even managed to convey that it would probably be shocking. Then after I had her all worked up and worried, even though I was telling her "don't worry everything's fine"...I pretty much chickened out, I just couldn't say it. So she actually got up and gave me a nice hug and said she'd always love me no matter what and I could tell her anything. So I finally did, and she said she thought so as soon as I started the conversation, but the way I was talking, but that she HADN"T thought so until I started the conversation. Anyway she was totally cool about it and we had a good talk, and it's all good, and she said she supports me regardless, and never had any hangs up about the issue in general. And she's glad I told her, and she said nothing was going to be any different between us, and she also said she would be ok with someday meeting and getting to know a guy I feel in love with. So all in all, I really couldn't have asked for it to go any better, at all. Except that I really did a lousy job with the actual TELLING part, but her reaction was great, and I was fine after it was "on the table" so to speak. Anyway thanks again guys, for the support and stuff, just wanted to let you know everything went well.

So my mom just got here a little while ago. She's going to be staying until Wednesday, then going home for Thanksgiving (And I'll be going too Thursday morning). Anyway she's visiting for a little while, as a kinda vacation thing, and just to visit. It's quite nice and it should be fun. But I can't help thinking that perhaps now is when I ought to come out to her. I mean I never even considered it before last summer, when I actually got inspired enough to think I might actually be able to find a satisfying relationship. Before that I figured there was really no reason to mention it to her (or anyone really), since it's not like I'd be having this steady boyfriend to "hide". I mean if I were in a relationship, I know I'd want to share it with the people I care about....So now that I'm thinking I'm actually gonna take a shot at true love (just as a general idea, I still don't really have any potential people in mind), it seems logical that I should mention this to my closest people. Anyway, it also seems like a good idea to do it when we have alot of time and privacy, and this is really the first time that's come along, since I decided all this.....SOOO I guess I will.....maybe. I dunno, there's no reason to really be freaking out too much about this, I mean I KNOW she'll ultimately come to terms with it, and I doubt it'll ever cause a break in our relationship, even temporary. She's flat out said, parents should always support their kids, she even said this in the context of us discussing a gay friend I have whose parents didn't. So I mean it's not like I have to worry to much. But it is still a big step. And also while I think she'll handle it ok, she'll still have to deal with it, it'll still be awkward, and it'll still surprise her. And I also know she'll be disappointed about not having grandkids (even though I do plan to adopt, it'll still feel to her like she won't have them). Anyway besides all that, everything's going along nicely and I hate to rain on the parade so to speak. But rationally I know that I have to do this eventually since I intend to someday have both a boyfriend and my mom in my life, and really it'll probably be better now, BEFORE I actually find someone, that way she won't subconsciously blame him or anything. I don't feel the need to do this as some sort of opening up/bonding/being honest thing. I mean I am myself around her, ok I don't blurt out "wow, that guy's hot!" or anything, but really I wouldn't do that if it were "wow, that girl's hot!"...Basically I'm just not going to be that sexual around my family anyway, so I really don't feel like I'm hiding anything, I just want to sort this all out before complications arise. So I'm thinking I'll tell her tomorrow evening (if it feels like the right time, and I get up the nerve), that way we can have fun today and not worry about anything, then tomorrow and all day Tuesday we'll still have time to deal with this. Now Thrusday will probably feel odd, when I'm around my grandparents and her at the same time, it'll be like we've got a secret or something, but I'm sure that feeling will pass. Anyway wish me luck everyone, and I probably won't be on much for the next week (regardless of how this works out).....Also if I DON"T end up telling her at all, don't be surprised.