AFriendlyFace

Well gosh! I'm late :wacko: But I hope your bithday was awesome, Mr. Frost! May the coming year be filled with nice things! -Kevin

YAY! Happy Birthday, Jakob! I hope your day and year are incredibly pleasant! -Kevin

Hi all, First off: HAHAHHA and now to the point. I must say that I agree with James, Krista, and Luc; your word won't hold up against the cop's, and it sounds like you don't have enough evidence. I think all that would happen if you pushed this is that you'd get a great deal of attention (much of it negative), out yourself, and probably make your friends uncomfortable. I hate to be so cynical and negative, but my advice is to just let it go and press for gay rights in other situations and at other times when you're in a better situation. If you do do anything about this particular situation my suggestion would be to write a much more general, anonymous essay and see if you can get it picked up by the newspapers. I would suggest not including anything specific, including the groping, just focus on slur and negativity towards homosexuality, and focus on how you felt. In the long run I think the fight for gay rights will be won through a gradual shifting of public opinion and values. A teenager who feels scared, angry, and disillusioned as a result of the behaviour of the people who are supposed to be protecting him is a sympathetic case. Something more direct, that might actually get the cop in question reprimanded, would lose a great deal of the sympathy in the controversy; it would also only succeed (at best) in removing one bad cop, it probably wouldn't do much to improve the overall climate of the force. Just my opinion though, anyway I'm sorry it happened at all Take care, Kevin

YAY!!! Sounds like an awesome day!

I'm glad you got through the 23rd okay. And I'm so sorry about the migraine Obviously I can see your point; everyone wants the person they're talking to take an active, engaged role in the subject they wish to discuss. However, just to play devil's advocate a bit perhaps that isn't always possible. Is Scott a hockey fan? Is he interested in those teams? Does he like hearing about the game, or does he only enjoy them first hand? Personally if you were talking to me about hockey my mind might wander a bit too . But even if he is a hockey fan it doesn't mean he likes hearing about. A good example is my mother and I and gambling. We both love to gamble, and both thoroughly enjoy the slots. I'm completely engaged and having fun while I'm playing, but unlike her I find it mind-numbingly boring to hear everything that happened to someone else blow by blow. She loves to recite whole stories about what happened, what she hit, or missed, how much she was betting etc. Personally I usually can't remember what happened in that amount of detail for more than a couple of minutes after it happens, but apart from being impressed at her ability to memorise and recite every detail I don't really care to hear about it. SO I just always smile, and nod, and interject "ohh" and "wow" and "great" and "awww" at the appropriate moments and mostly tune it out. I do try to act interested since I know she enjoys telling about it, but yeah my mind tends to be elsewhere too. And I know I often do the samething with people. I do like to go on at length about various subjects that interest me, and ironically when it comes to regular card games I tend to remember, and enjoy reciting each play that occurred too. Logically I know no one really wants to hear it, but I like to tell it anyway. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I totally see and identify with what you're saying, but generally I think, based on what I read, that Scott's behaviour is fairly normal. I think it would definitely be a problem if he didn't pay attention when you discussed your feelings with him, or when you wanted to talk about "relationship stuff", and I even think he should try to pay attention (or at least give the impression that he is) when you talk about fairly mundane things that don't really interest him, but I hope you don't feel like it's YOU that isn't holding his interest. Anyway I'm not sure I even properly expressed what I was getting at, but I hope it all works out and I hope you feel better Take care and have a great day! Kevin

Hey Viv!! Yay for tax return checks and days off!! Boo for creepy old guys With regards to your question...I think it would depend on the individuals involved (cop out huh? ). It would also depend on things like how much time there was, the setting, and of course each individual's mood. In general I think it's ashame for people to take each other for granted and get into ruts with their relationships, so I definitely think that would include sexually. So specifically: any relationship I were in I'd try to "mix things up" and keep it varied and spontaneous. As far as Jesse and Stephen go I think they seem like the kind of people who wouldn't necessarily expect something specific every time a given situation arose. Anyway have an awesome day and take care!!! Kevin

I loved this story!! Seriously, if you guys haven't read it yet, GO READ NOW!! It was an extremely thoughtful, layered piece in which Nick examined many difficult and common aspects of coming out! I was really impressed with the way he captured and described the feelings a gay person's family might experience! His descripition of the phases Daryl's parents went through undoubtedly exemplify the experience of many other gay teens; it also helps show the varied and dynamic possibility of stages through which a family may travel. The main theme of course is what happens when one half of a gay couple is ready to be out and the other isn't. This is a timeless, and unfortunately all too common, aspect of gay life. Nick did a wonderful job expressing the different - and highly valid - emotions, thoughts, feelings, and reactions that two such gay individuals would potentially experience. Indeed the question of whether or not a relationship between a closeted individual and an out individual is a healthy, viable possibility is one that seems to defy answering. I also thoroughly enjoyed the story on its simplest, narrative level. The description of Daryl's interaction with Tommy, Alan, William, and his parents was extremely compelling and enjoyable to read! I also loved the way the title was subtly thrown in and gave the whole story new meaning! While I definitely wouldn't mind reading more about these characters and their lives, to me the story is complete as it is. Its primary focus - to me - seemed to be more about the feelings and events tied to particular, highly common, experiences in gay life. To me these experiences have been adequately examined with reference to these characters. I think this story is extremely important and relevant and I really hope it's widely accessible for others who are going through the same thing! Amazing job, Nick! This should certainly - in my opinion - be a staple in "coming out" literature. -Kevin

WOOO HOOO!!! Happy Birthday, Nick!! It's difficult to know what to say to one of the most special people, one of the most talented authors, and one of my most amazing friends on his birthday. SO I'll just leave it: have a very special and happy year and may each passing day bring you more happiness, wisdom, and peace. Kevin

Oh my gosh, Jack!!!! That's spot on my kind of humour! Which ones don't work aloud? They all seemed to to me.

But there's really no one home. My attention span and short-term memory seem to be getting progressively worse with each passing day. I'm lucky to finish sentences nevermind multi-step tasks. It was always something I just sorta blew off before. "Oh I'm just absent-minded", "it's just another quirky aspect of my personality"...but it's getting worse, and it's starting to actually bother me. I lost money again at work today...it's about the 5th time (that I know of) that it's happened since I've started. There are other people who have been there years and never lost any. I still have no clue how I'm doing it. It doesn't make sense either; at my last job I was the fastest, most accurate cashier. All I can guess is that there's just too many completely different things going on at once, or else that I'm just less careful in general since it's my money and not the company's. LOL, and goodness knows I'm not particularly careful with my own money. I'm lucky to go three days without buying some new article of clothing. And eating out? I'm lucky to go one day without eating at least one of my meals in a restaurant. Anyway, I've got to put a break on my spending...I get the impression my friends might hold an intervention soon otherwise So getting back to the point: I can't FOCUS! I lost a belt too. I mean granted I have so many it probably seems like it would be hard to keep track of them all anyway, but actually I'm pretty well-organized and tidy around the house (probably as some sort of compensating mechanism - I just can't handle clutter and disarray). That belt, like every other belt, shoe, shirt, and pair of pants, had a specific place in one of the closets that it's supposed to occupy. It isn't there, it isn't visting any of the belts nor is it hanging out in the dirty laundry with the pants...it's just gone. I mean how does one actually LOSE a belt? Not that it's the first piece of clothing that's gone inexplicably missing. I mean it's very easy for me to lose stuff in general. I just put it down then wander off, but with clothing I'm generally aware of removing them from my body, and I don't generally do that in public places (if it happens in someone's home presumably they'd run across the item and, upon seeing me the next time, say something to the effect of "hey scatterbrain, you left without your shoes the other night"). Anyway I just don't quite understand how bits of clothing just go missing periodically. My primary checkbook has been MIA for the last 6 or 7 months. Anyway, I'm seriously beginning to worry. In the past couple of months I've wandered away from sinks with the water running, FREQUENTLY prepared things for cooking/washing/cleaning etc. only to fail to turn the actual appliance on. "Gee these veggies are taking forever to cook!...ohh well perhaps if I turned the stove on". How I've managed to avoid having a car accident is beyond me. I am NOT focused enough to be behind the wheel of a highspeed vehicle. I mean I think I'm too much of a space cadet to drive, but I can't exactly not drive; it's pretty much a requirement of modern life, particularly if you are a young, single, working person. It's fine for an 80 year old to say "I just didn't think I should be driving anymore", but when a twenty-something year old says it people think he's nuts! The most frustrating times aren't those in which I misplace things, or even when I forget an important step in an everyday activity; the most frustrating times are those in which I'm really trying to focus, trying to remember what I needed to do or say and can't. I really am worried. I'm getting enough sleep, my mood is good, I'm eating heathily and yet, for lack of a better term, I'm getting senile. Worse considering the frustration that comes when I try to focus and can't, walking around in a happy, foggy daze is not only getting easier to do, it's also getting more tempting. It's almost like I'm giving up. For years I struggled to keep my mind on the matter at hand, now I'm content to let it flit about wherever it deems appealing. What if one day I wander into my own little world and don't come back at all?

Hey Camy Yup, excellent point! I'm not sure I would be able to adapt. I still haven't given an answer, but I'm thinking I won't do it. Have a funtastic day! Kevin

Hey James! LOL, well actually I've already got my Lucky, and if I did move in with this girl from work I'd also gain the honour of her feline companion's company. They'd probably get on quite well; Lucky likes everyone and everything lol. Have an awesome day and take care! Kevin

Hey Vancey! I'm glad to get the full scoop on what's been going! I'm so sorry I haven't been around very much OH my gosh that all sounds so scary!! I'm really glad everything is better right now though! Take care and feel better!! Kevin

Hey Trebs! Oh my gosh! That's like the best idea! I wonder how much those things usually run? Thanks for suggesting that! It seriously hadn't crossed my mind! Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Bob Yes, I'm completely out at work. hmm well of course my independence. I just have to figure out to what extent this would affect both. Yeah, great point! Presumably until whatever lease we sign expires. We didn't discuss that, but I'm sure both together. Thanks for helping me expand on those thoughts, I'm still not really sure either way yet though, but I think I'm leaning towards not doing it. Anyway have an awesome day and take care!! Kevin

So this isn't what I wanted to write about. I've been wanting to write a blog entry about an article I read recently in Entertainment Weekly, but this is something I have to decide sooner (well the other one isn't a decision at all ) so I'm doing this one instead. Anyway, here's the situation. I have to move out of my apartment in May because they're tearing it down to rebuild luxury high-rise condominiums. They've pretty much already done that with all the other houses and buildings in the immediate neighbourhood so I suppose it was just a matter of time. But I'm seriously ticked off because I really liked my apartment! It has two walk-in closets in the bedroom - which I've now decided are going to have to be on my list of necessities. So anyway, I was complaining about this a month or so ago at work and one of my friends/co-workers said that her lease was also up in May and that she was looking for a roommate. So I wasn't really sure how I felt about getting a roommate, so I just sorta gave a non-committal answer and didn't bring it up again. Anyway tonight she brought it up again, and made it sound like a really smart, fun idea. So I said I'd have to think it over and crunch some numbers and stuff and get back to her...so now I have to do that. I'm just not sure what I want to do. On the "no" side: -I've lived on my own for the last 3 years and just didn't really expect to ever have roommates again. I figured I'd live by myself until I eventually met someone special and we moved in together. LOL well not that she isn't special, but you know what I mean -I'm really independent and strongly value my space and privacy. -Given my whole shopping addiction thing, I have a full apartment's worth of things already, in fact I wish it were a bit bigger just to accommodate all of my things. Merging everything just isn't that feasible unless she literally lives in an empty place, and I just don't think I want to get rid of anything. I mean again I'd be willing to if it was like I was moving in to start a life with someone, because then we'd be getting our stuff, but I don't want to like get rid of my couch and use her's when I'm sure I'll be needing one again after we part ways. -I just like to come and go as I please and have over, or not have over, whomever I please. I mean I can come in at 4am and make all the noise I like and it's my business. I always have the option to have anyone over at anytime I please. Or to go home and know I can be alone and not bothered. -The whole thing seems counter-productive as far as the development of my life goes. It's like a little step-back as far as independence goes. Also, moving in with someone from work just further entrenches me there. This is supposed to be a temporary job, in fact I didn't expect to be there this long. On the "yes" side: -I do really like her. She'd probably be a good roommate, and I'd be happy to get closer with her and become even better friends. -I've got that whole spontaneous, experience whore thing going so on the surface it seems like a fun, spontaneous thing to do, and I'd undoubtedly get to meet lots of people I otherwise wouldn't have, and be exposed to lots of things I otherwise wouldn't have. -It really is convenient in terms of timing. Not just the fact that our leases are up at the same time, but also a couple of months after that my two bestfriends are moving away (so sad about that ). So it would help me build and sustain another important relationship. -I'd save ALOT of money. -This is sort of the same thing that was in the "no" category: it would help me establish stronger ties with the people at work. I'm already friends with them, but we'd be more likely to hang out in groups if two of us are already together. Plus, we could like carpool and stuff. So anyway I'm sure there are lots more pros and cons, but those are the ones that spring immediately to mind. I should probably give her an answer within the next day or so. Of course I'm going to make this decision on my own, but opinions and perspectives are always welcomed.

I have the exact same five vinegars myself! I primarily use the applecidar and the red wine though (weekly). I occassionally use the white wine and the regular white vinegar (monthly), but I really only use the balsamic vinegar (yearly) when I'm in the mood to buy fresh pita bread and mix the balsamic vinegar with olive oil and zatar and have that (like you get at Greek restaurants). I have a 6th vinegar: "black vinegar", I bought it a couple of years ago at an Asian market, it's supposed to be good in Chinease dishes, but I didn't really care for it. Apart from that I've also had experiences with raspberry vinegar (delicious!), and rice vinegar (YUCK). I don't really use flour, I think I just have some of the most basic kind for just in case. I love cooking, but I'm not really into baking. I also don't really like fried foods so I never batter anything.

Have a productive day off. Ice or steam?

I like happy endings. I like sad endings. I like bittersweet endings. I guesss it just depends on the story, situation, and characters. I mostly like to not know ahead of time. I don't want to be thinking "well duh, they're going to get together and live happily ever after in the end." Or "well of course so and so is going to end up sacrificing his happiness for X". I like to be surprised and I like for any potential type of ending to be a viable option.

Hi all! Well this is certainly a topic which I have some strong opinions about.

Hey Luc, First off that poem is beautiful and made me tear up (like most of your work does), and secondly:

Hey Eric!

Hey Kaiten!! It's GREAT to hear from you!!

Hey Jan! Thanks for the advice! Actually I am taking it a bit slower with Phil. We hung out - in a group setting - tonight. I suppose ideally it would really be best to do the same thing again next week (when we'll all meet up) and then see how things are then...I know that's the wisest way to proceed, yet at the same time I'm tempted to call him in the next few days and see if he wants to get together. **shrug** I guess we'll see lol Anyway thanks and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Jamie!! LOL, it does! If only everyone were exactly what I'm looking for! haha, I'm glad ya enjoyed the gossip! awww thanks I'll be careful! Thanks! I should be seeing him tomorrow, so I'll letcha know what happens. GRRRRR! Don't say that! You're terrific! And I'm sure you're totally adorable! Have an awesome day and take care! Kevin